to tell daughter to call police

Sadly her friend will need the see the light herself. If kids arent involved, and if she is defensive of her relationship, then no one else can do anything.

How scary for everyone involved. What a monster. I'm going to guess she witnessed or experienced abuse as a child, and therefore thinks it's normal or thinks it's a sign of love.

I don’t anybody is necessarily ‘shaming’ her. Nobody had to go wading into the room but I’m mortified none of them called the police.

Police don't often step in anyway in situations like this. It will take for the gf who's being abused to do something, and even then, she will require evidence.

This. I can't believe the amount of posts shaming op's daughter for not stepping in. She was probably terrified herself.

Oh gosh such a tricky and awful situation. Women’s aid would surely have the best informed advice so I would follow that

I'm so saddened that, at the very least, no one called the police in the moment. Sure men are stronger but bursting into the room with the police on the phone would very likely have made him stop & probably leg it. Of course he might not & it's a risk but probably less likely than him putting her in hospital or killing her. I've stepped in to some pretty awful situations where being female definitely helped - shitting it inside but, generally, cowardly men are terrified of outwardly confident women.

As for the housemate's boyf? What a sack of shit! He's not even protecting his own partner. And they all know about this? Christ this is awful.

Good luck with whatever path you choose & worth keeping a check on your DD cos that would have been very traumatising to hear

I think people are being very hard on your daughter - it's well known that getting involved can sometimes make things worse for the victim and she's young, and come across it for the fiest time, and shes not ignoring it and she is sensibly wanting advice. I think that reporting it now, and making making a plan for what to do if it happens again, I.e. to call the police then, iw the best thjng to do.

D it happens again please tell your daughter to keep herself safe and ring 999

The police could take statements from your daughter and the other people in the flat regarding what they heard and if they saw their friend with injuries. That would allow the police to arrest the boyfriend and afford the opportunity to speak to the victim and try and get a statement off her.
Reality is though if she refuses it's not likely to go anywhere unless he's got previous.

Oh gosh how awful. I would definitely call the police; but if she doesn’t want to press charges I don’t know what they will do :(.

They should have called the police but I think it's incredibly poor advice to suggest the girls should have waded in and confronted the attacker. Men are way stronger than women and this man is obviously a violent bastard.

I would also go with calling the police. It will likely be the end of a friendship but I think this is worth losing a friend over. The alternative is ignoring that her friend keeps getting beaten and giving the message that it's ok.

I see the point that the friend will lose a support and become more isolated but your DD can tell her that she will be there at the other end of the phone in a month, six months or three years if she wants to reach out. What else can she do?

I'm sure this is extremely common for the police to deal with. I know they can put flags on peoples homes who are at risk of DV so any calls eg silent ones, they know to attend very quickly and the address comes up right away. I don't know if they can do that without her consent but I still think this being on the record is best. It may be helpful one day in building a picture up.

Why didn't they do something at the time? I'm baffled that a grown adult would sit there and do nothing listening to a friend get beaten up. The least they should have done is call 999.
Far easier for police to deal with it there and then than after the event.

Nobody's said anyone else in the house should confront him. Call the police, let them deal with the scumbag.

Please report to police. He may well already be known to them.
And you or your dd can ask for a Clare’s Law disclosure which this poor woman might take notice of.
If someone was being attacked in the street would these girls ignore that too?

Oh give over. Confronting a violent man while he's all geared up to hurt women isn't an easy thing to do. Not to mention what might it achieve? He knew they were there and that didn't stop him, so why would being confronted? More likely he'd then take it out on the GF.

It could certainly get worse, and reporting can enrage the perpetrator, that's not a reason not to do it, but it's naive to think that's not a serious consideration. I would have called the police at the time, but it probably would have ended the friendship, which would leave the friend with less support. Since it's after the fact, depending on what exactly they heard and if there's any physical proof, I might call women's aide first to get some advice on how to support the friend and how to approach things with the police, see if there's some way to report and have it on record without isolating her friend or if indeed what they have to report will result in anything being done. If there's physical evidence the friend couldn't deny I'd go straight to the police, but if what they heard could be explained away if friend takes his side I'd tread more carefully. It definetly needs to be reported, but I'd try women's aide first to see if they have any advise.

What would prompt her to call the police if not sitting there listening to a friend being violently attacked? It's not a brave step, just call them and hope they come quickly. Christ, it's depressing reading things like this.

Please encourage your daughter to call the police. I was of a similar age when I lived with my violent ex DP and he was doing the same to me every night. We lived in a block of flats and all of the neighbours knew what was going on and did nothing. Ex used to lock me in our top floor flat and take all forms of communication including my phone and even the wire for our internet router so I couldn’t contact anyone or get out if there were a fire. I wish someone had called the police for me as I was far too scared and could have died several times.

Of course you must call the police, when it happens and not after the event when she may deny it.
But be prepared to lose her friendship as she may resent the interference.
It is so sad that some women can accept this treatment.

Her "friends" just sit there listening to her getting beaten??

Ffs they're as bad as he is

I'm surprised she didn't think to call the police when the crime was being committed. The friend could have sustained serious injuries or been killed, strangulation can kill in minutes.

Yes I don't understand why people are sitting listening to a woman being assaulted and they aren't phoning the police while the assault is going on. How can they just sit there for heavens sake?
Not doing anything while this attack is going on is giving this violent man the message other people consider his behaviour normal.