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Original poster

For making DS go to school when he does this?

39 replies

HappySats · 25/09/2024 08:47

DS is in last year of primary. Me and his dad aren’t together but he has a large presence and influence in his life.
DS is currently unwell with a viral cold, normal cough, tickly throat. No temperature. DS is a gamer, his PlayStation and gaming with his school friends are what he would do all the time if he could. I have the rule of if we have nothing on and his homework is done he can play. If he’s feeling ill then don’t play as the stress and excitement sends him all over the place. If he does play he must go to school the next day, as I see it that if he’s well enough to play, chat, laugh and scream on there he’s well enough for school. He has understood this rule but with age and hormones starting to push it. For the past two days he’s played the PS and then got up in the morning saying he’s too ill for school, I’ve not backed down on my rule explaining to him he was well enough last night. Obviously I’ve checked his temp etc and he’s fine. Now my ex has become involved saying DS is a child and too young to understand that he might feel worse the next day or how he just made a mistake going on there. Honestly you’d think I’d sent him in at deaths door.
Am I being too harsh or is this normal parenting and teaching DS that education is the priority not gaming, if he’s ill gaming stops before days off from school?

OP posts:
Lovelysummerdays · 25/09/2024 09:26

I’m with you. I also don’t allow gaming or screens during school hours if dc are off as they are too ill to go to school they can rest in bed or on sofa with a book. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had an apparently dying child at 8am who’s positively perky by 10am and bored thereafter. Mild illness go to school.

xyzandabc · 25/09/2024 09:25

I think you're going along the right lines but the wrong way round.
Being ill one day isn't related to whether or not he played on the PS yesterday. It's quite possible to be fine one day but wake up feeling rotten then next day.

If he's too ill for school then limit screen time that day. So he doesn't get the message that sick day equals 6 hours of game time. He can sleep off the illness or read or do quiet things.

If he's well enough for school, then once homework is done, he's well enough to play PS that evening.

Original poster
HappySats · 25/09/2024 09:24

Forgot to explain, when he is really ill he won’t play the PS he doesn’t even need to be told, he came down with this on Sunday and did lay in bed all day not talking or playing, so I knew he was ill. When he starts playing again I know he’s definitely feeling better. That’s partly why it’s used as a measurement of how ill he is.

OP posts:
SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 25/09/2024 09:24

Also agree you’ve got it the wrong way round. I went to the gym last night. This morning I feel like shit with a sore throat/bad sinuses etc. I didn’t know last night that I was going to feel like this this morning.
If he’s too ill for school then no gaming today. It’s entirely nonsensical to link it to what he was doing yesterday.

Rocknrollstar · 25/09/2024 09:23

Our rule was simple - if you can get up and get dressed you go to school. Admittedly DS once fainted while getting dressed and DD had to be brought home from school by PE teacher but basically it worked. As I told my pupils when I was a teacher, if you are well enough to go downstairs and watch videos/ play games, you do not have the flu.

InTheRainOnATrain · 25/09/2024 09:21

Agree you have it the wrong way around. He could genuinely become unwell overnight and feeling ok yesterday doesn’t mean he’s not sick today. But if he’s too ill for school today then he’s too ill for playstation today.

MrsCarson · 25/09/2024 09:19

You could do what we had to do as kids, if you are ill from school, you have to stay in bed. No anything, you should be sleeping it off.
Maybe you need to reduce his gaming time.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 25/09/2024 09:02

SauviGone · 25/09/2024 08:54

How about trying it the opposite way round - if he doesn’t go to school that day then no PlayStation that day/night.

In fact if he’s even trying the “I’m too ill for school” thing of a morning I’d be saying ‘oh dear, better have an early night tonight then with no PlayStation’.

And mean it.

I agree with this. It has more logic to it. If you're not at school you can't stay home playing PlayStation.

I wouldn't send him in to school if he was obviously unwell, just because he played PlayStation the night before.

MayaPinion · 25/09/2024 09:00

You are right. He’s got a cold. If he’s well enough for gaming he’s well enough for school. Offer him Calpol if he complains.

BertieBotts · 25/09/2024 09:00

I think Sauvi has it. Your approach makes sense but it's just the wrong way around. It's not just for his benefit you keep him home when he's ill, it's also to stop him spreading it around.

Use the parental controls to disable the PlayStation on days he is ill.

shellyleppard · 25/09/2024 08:56

I always said if you are well enough to be playing out you are well enough for school. Same with the playstation, only after homework and chores (if any) are done.

SauviGone · 25/09/2024 08:54

How about trying it the opposite way round - if he doesn’t go to school that day then no PlayStation that day/night.

In fact if he’s even trying the “I’m too ill for school” thing of a morning I’d be saying ‘oh dear, better have an early night tonight then with no PlayStation’.

And mean it.

Stompythedinosaur · 25/09/2024 08:53

I think it's unreasonable. Send him to school or not based on whether he's ill, not on whether he was playing a computer game, the two just aren't linked.

I think you are expecting too much impulse control from a dc to prove they are ill by choosing to forgo a favourite activity.

Clearly it is perfectly possible to play a game while ill, it's a sedentary, home-based activity.

teatoast8 · 25/09/2024 08:49

No you haven't been too harsh. You did the right thing x