For making DS go to school when he does this?

disentangling illness and use of the PS could help. It is possible to play games, watch tv when unwell, in fact it can be helpful when feeling rubbish. To help with this can PS use be limited to an hour a day, if work done etc?

I wouldn't let my son stay off with those symptoms. If he's really ill and stays off I don't mind what he does if he feels up to it, but if he manages to be at home and isn't ill beyond a cold I wouldn't let him play games.

This is the answer.

Out of curiosity, what time does he play until? Is it a case of he is exhausted from playing all night? Or he has a cold and it has settled on his chest overnight, making him feel like crap in the morning, but easing as the day goes on?

I can go to bed feeling well and wake up feeling awful. However kids often get a tummy ache or headache first thing that magically gets better. They don’t recognise the nervousness or anxious feelings they may have about the day ahead.

the gaming the night before doesn’t mean he can’t be unwell next day. If he says he is poorly and then bouncing round by 10am then take him to school

let his dad arrange the childcare if kid wants to stay home

Mine don’t stay off for a cold. Unless they’ve an underlying condition such as asthma which might be exacerbated by it then they can usually cope. Flu would be different. They don’t even ask as they hate being off. Enforced quarantine during Covid was the worst for them. Our school have said to send them in with extra calpol if they’re poorly with a cold type illness. The only deviation is D&V or something like chickenpox.

My teen DD was off Friday as she had D&V. She has been to school and been to her evening activity she usually does and then went to bed. An hour later she was throwing up. She was up and down most of the night, as was I to help her. My youngest DD got up and went to school and I called the sick line then eldest DD and I went back to bed for a couple of hours. After she woke up I told her she had to stay on her room - more so she was closer to bathroom and so she wasn’t sick anywhere else in the house to try and contain the germs. She was on and off her phone/ipad all day though and napped in between. The 48 hour rule part of D&V is harder though as she was feeling 100% better yesterday, hadn’t been sick since the day before but was still having a bit of the D. But that was yesterday morning. Now she’s perky and bored but I’m keeping her quarantined for the 48 hours to be safe re passing it on. So she’s on her devices probably more than normal now as she’s missed a whole day of weekend activities yesterday and will miss today’s as well.

I think playing a computer game and going a full day in school are two different things and a lot can change during the night, I can tell when my son is at it or not

I actually think it’s both ways round! if he’s up gaming the night before he can go in and they will send him home if they feel it necessary, if he doesn’t go, no gaming for he day either as he’s clearly too ill.

I would allow TV or a film though if he was off, I wouldn’t limit screen altogether, just no gaming as it’s too involved and if they have the concentration to do it they could be concentrating on school.

As for your ex-h saying he can’t understand, he’s 11 years old, he will understand exactly what you teach him which is why you are right on this one mum.

I wonder how many people saying their kids aren’t allowed to watch TV or use screens when they’re ill follow that same rule for themselves?
If mine are off sick then I’ll happily let them watch a film on the sofa with a blanket etc, and I do the same myself when I’m ill.

I let my kids play on their devices when off sick. They get bored otherwise as I'm working. I don't think if he appears.well enough send him in but if not don't send him in just because he feels well enough to play a game. Seems a strange rule to me.

I think your doing it the wrong way round, instead of "if you play, you go to school", it should be "if you stay off school, you don't play". That way you make the call based on if he's well enough, but he's less likely to exaggerate symptoms.

When my son is sick I don’t make being at home a treat, it’s enforced naps and reading and the day before he goes back I make sure he gets all his catch up homework done. Obviously I’m kind etc and provide him with a first class nursing service but I say “you’re not on holiday, you’re sick and need to rest”. But ultimately he loves being off school and I try not to make it attractive to him 🤣

he’s normally relieved to escape matrons sanatorium

Yes I remember my Dad doing that. It seemed to instantly cue my brother's morning ailments that seemed to make him unwell enough to go to school but better by 3pm to go out and play with mates

Going off track but screen time and not going outside before age 20 irrevocably damages eyesight for kids - ive jyst forked out on expensive glasses for my dd due to eye strain (books and ipad). I'd be adding a time limit and having screen free days anyway. I'd also be sending him to school if it's just a cold unless he looks full of it. I agree with pp that gaming should be earned. You're giving the treat before the task.

I was poorly Monday - Wednesday, started getting better but Friday evening I felt a bit rough, sore throat & coldy but I still managed to have a nice evening. I woke up properly poorly at 3am on Saturday and I still feel like utter crap. A 10/11yo is old enough to know how they feel, the night before is not an indication of how you'll feel 12h later.

An important lesson * lol sorry

Trying to teach *

You can't be knocked for trying your reach him an important in my book. Problem is being unwell doesn't stop us from "having fun". It's like telling an adult if you're ill but well enough to go to the shop or watch films then you're not unwell enough to not go to work

This is the line we have taken with both of ours. We stuck to it religiously. Ours were rarely off school as a result and only when I could tell they were not well enough to go.

I agree, I think you have the idea right but the order the wrong way round. If he’s too ill for school, fine but he needs to rest all day and evening - I.e no PlayStation on the days he is off sick. It is normal to be fine one day and ill the next (I.e that’s how illnesses start) which your rule doesn’t allow for.

I'm with you OP.

I've heard my friend's son whooping and shouting whilst gaming. It's loud, it's energetic, it's anything but calm.

There is no way someone could sustain that level of animation if they were feeling ill!

I agree with the others about it being the other way around because you're judging based off how well he was the day before - it can change overnight. I definitely do no TV and no games if they are home sick though.

We do more or less the same op.

Had this last week with ds2 (14). He was unwell on Saturday with a heavy cold (no temp, just generic bad cold). Slightly better on Sunday but still tired. He did go on his Xbox on Sunday but not much.

Decided to let him have Monday off. He slept until 10am, got up, visibly looked and seemed better. Got better again throughout the day and by 7pm I was threatening him with violence if he didn't lower his damn voice when Gaming...standard whooping, shouting animatedly at his friends, etc. Clearly feeling fine.

Tuesday morning...well, the poor dab felt too ill for school apparently.

Nice try sunshine. If you're well enough to be shouting at your Xbox all evening and running up and downstairs for snacks and drinks, you're well enough for school. Out you go.

You know him well enough to know if he's genuinely unwell or at it. If in doubt keep him home, but no PlayStation that day at all. If you think he's trying it on, send him to school, they'll soon call if he is unwell during the day.
I'd also make sure he's winding down before bed and going to bed at a reasonable time. We started having an issue with gaming right before bed and being on group calls with his friends. The knock-on effect was that he would be too hyped up to sleep and then feel 'unwell' (tired) the next day. We've stopped that now, and things are better for him.

I think a lot can change between the night before and the next morning, so it could well be that he’s too ill to go to school even if he felt okay the night before.

But for a cold, sore throat, tickly cough with no fever, I generally as a rule send them to school. My approach is that I’d rather risk them being in and being sent home than missing a day and feeling fine by 10am. School says to do exactly this: send them in unless they have a fever or d&v or obviously quite poorly, and they’ll make the call if they think they’re too ill to stay and will ring. School attendance matters. My guess is your ex won’t be the one looking after him at home or dealing with the ramifications of poor attendance.

The OP isn’t saying that if he has the day off he can’t game while he’s off ill, though. She’s saying that because he gamed last night after school, he can’t have today off because he was well enough to game last night.