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AIBU?

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Reception feud- WWYD

31 replies

Hushmental · 24/09/2024 23:28

So sorry if this issue sounds very silly. DD started reception this year in a good( strict) school and has been struggling to make friends. She went to a different nursery so no one from her nursery is there. There seems to be groupism in her class already . Everyday she has been coming and telling she was playing alone and she asked other kids to be her friends and they said no which was heartbreaking for me! She has been crying everyday that she doesn’t want to go to school and obviously school mornings are getting difficult. Anyways we were both looking forward to a class kids bday party where whole class was invited , I thought it would be a good start for her to get some friends. Unfortunately the kid and my DD had a feud today(apparently my daughter took one of the toys without asking from the other kid which made her upset and she lashed out at DD asking her not to come to her bday party. I have no idea how to deal with this now. Do I speak to the mum and apologise or do we not go to the party?! Obviously I told my daughter how to behave, be kind and Considerate etc but everyone keeps saying no to her when she asks to play with making her feel quite frustrated and unhappy which is fuelling some of her behaviour and I don’t know how to help her.Any advice would be really appreciated
TIA

OP posts:
Bex5490 · 25/09/2024 08:22

Awww - my son started reception too this year and it is gut wrenching thinking of your precious little person not having friends to play with.

I am also a teacher and know that children this age often relay the one worst thing about their day as this is what sticks in their heads. Like a child might have a great day happily playing with a range of children but when a question is phrased like ‘what happened at school?’, they might say ‘nobody played with me’ because of one incident in the day where they felt alone. Or if someone snatched a toy, this might be the thing that sticks etc.

I think you’ll get a better understanding from the teacher and definitely still go to the party.

Sending hugs xx

Hushmental · 25/09/2024 00:01

Thanks for your advice. I have arranged for a meeting with her teacher .

OP posts:
MixieMatchie · 24/09/2024 23:35

Kids that age say "you're not coming to my party" even when there isn't a party in sight! It's probably a coincidence the kid actually is having a party 🤣

Obviously go to the party and think no more of it, this isn't a feud, it's little kids squabbling like little kids do. If you're worried more generally about your child settling into school, ask if you can talk to the teacher about it and get her perspective.

Hushmental · 24/09/2024 23:34

It was the kid who told my daughter that she is not invited to the party anymore. Should I still have a discussion with the parent or just ignore and go to the party. The only reason I was keen to go to the party is for her to get some friends.

OP posts:
Littletreefrog · 24/09/2024 23:33

You still go to the party. They are 4/5 they dont get to decide who comes to the party. Use the time to chat to some of the parents and see which kids seem most likely to be friends and try to organise some meet ups.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 24/09/2024 23:30

Did the five year old say you're not invited or the parent? If the child ignore them, they'll be friends again tomorrow

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