AIBU to not want to drop work colleague home most days?

I think it best to just never offer her a lift - she has demonstrated that she inconveniences the OP, and it's within the OP's gift to offer or not.
There have been so many of these threads and I'd say just don't get into any regular lift-sharing scenario with colleagues!

It’s not your problem how they get home. I’m assuming they could get a bus like anyone else would?
With autumn kicking in and winter approaching I’m guessing it will be a daily thing. If you really don’t mind say you’ll not wait 15/20 min - if they aren’t ready you’re leaving.

You don't need an excuse. Just tell her once, 'You must be ready to leave at x o'clock when I go, or I'll have to go without you', then next working day walk past her and say, 'I'm going now – coming?' and if she doesn't just leave.
If she moans, say mildly, 'I did let you know what time I needed to go' and carry on with what you're doing.
She's taking the piss but more to the point you're letting her do so.

She sounds like a rude, entitled, ungrateful arsehole. The vaping thing! I would have said no to that for starters, she doesn’t get to decide! Oh I’m so angry for you. Please just say “my circumstances have changed and I can’t give a lift any more”. It’s not fair on you.

What's your hourly rate?

If she wastes 30 minutes of your time each day she's wasting the equivalent of half your hourly rate every time.

Does that make it easier to say no? If you put a value on YOUR time?

Never mind all of the other rubbish.

I use my "hourly rate" in a lot of calculations as to whether something is worth it or not.

Actually, on reflection I wouldn't mention your kids, or life outside work - just say 'due to various post-work commitments'. For these kind of CFs, the less they know about you the better - keep it cool and professional and don't get entangled with her in any way other than to do with work and during working hours.

It's your time, the car is your space and you have the right to do whatever you like once work is over and not be inconvenienced by a colleague.

Beside the point but what would she do without you and your colleague taxiing her?

I bet she doesn’t contribute to petrol either

she clearly needs to learn and drive and get a car. Or take the bus.

she is majorly taking advantage of you and you need to nip it in the bud NOW

It is always a bad idea to get into these situations because unfortunately, you are the person always put on so I would never do it.

I would say if you aren't on time at so and so, I will be leaving with or without you.

If you keep holding me up, I will rescind the offer of the lifts.

Draw strong boundaries, say it politely and stick to them. Grow a spine!

Good luck OP with it all. I also agree with you, better to make the break now and get it over and done with before she becomes your line manager.

She really does sound extraordinarily selfish, rude and without boundaries. The lateness in leaving plus the vaping in your car really is something else and everybody on this thread agrees with you.

I would be worried about her boundaries going forward with her being your line manager as she isn't demonstrating good attributes here at all.

She's just plain rude. And it is beyond measure to continue to vape in somebody's car when asked not to. Many, many people would have pulled the car over and told their passenger to get out and I say this as somebody who vapes herself.

Completely agree. It’s obvious OP doesn’t want to give her a lift at all so why are people commenting about letting future line manager in the car as long as she’s on time. OP needs to be direct and say it’s not working for her anymore, sorry. And that be that.

Given she’s going to be your line manager soon, I suggest the direct approach. Set your boundaries without lies or obfuscation or else she’ll be endlessly taking the piss once she’s your boss.

Vaping in your car. She asked you said no and she did it anyway!! This doesn’t bode well for her being a line manager. Tell her before she gets in the car that you don’t want it. Nobody knows the long term effects from all the chemicals in vapes.

tell her no more vaping. You don’t like it and she can find alternative transport. You aren’t in the military where she can order you to drive her home. If she ignores you then next day just say I asked you not to vape and so please find alternative transport arrangements

email her saying you are leaving at 4pm and just go. I would also speak to your line manager about how this arrangement is affecting your well being and time management.

don’t accept it anymore.

I'd go past her and say "I have to leave now, you can come with me or do what suits you, no problem" as you walk past. Don't stop when you talk to her. Appear to be in a rush.

Agree on the no excuses and the posts saying that she’ll be on time if you say you’re leaving at 5pm sharp (I’d not thought of that). Say that you can’t drive her any more. Just to let you know this. You’ll have to find other ways to get back now. Don’t say sorry. Any hassle report to higher management.

Don't mess around making excuses.

"Hi X, from next week I can't give you a lift home".

That's it. Don't make excuses, don't frame it as a question, just tell her and stick to it.

I sympathise as I used to take a colleague to & from work & it was so draining. She is lovely & we get on but it just became such a chore & also expected. I too drove past her house but had to go off the main road so it added on an extra 5mins each way. I just had to tell her I couldn't do it anymore as it was causing me to be late for the kids. It's been fine since, we are still friendly & there were no hard feelings! I'll sometimes drop her home if she's really stuck & I don't need to rush home but she would never ask.

You tell her you are no longer able to take her home. If she asks why, you say it’s for personal reasons.

End of conversation.

You need to stop doing this. However, I can understand why you feel the need to be careful how you phrase it, given she is going to be your line manager soon. Make up something with the kids if you must, new clubs, etc - and don’t get duped into doing this shit again, she’s a CF.

Agree that you need to either leave her there or get the courage to tell her that the arrangement doesn't work for you anymore.

'Sorry, that doesn't work for me' - rinse and repeat, no need for further explanation.

She's relying on you heavily AND taking the absolute piss. It may feel uncomfortable to put your foot down but it will also feel good to stand up for yourself. You can guarantee the cheeky cow wouldn't put herself out for you so don't do it for her.

If it had been me, I would have said to her directly and firmly I need to leave at 5pm exactly or whatever time because I have to get home to do xyz (you don't need to give her any explanation actually but in the interests of harmony). I've noticed that on the way out of the building you tend to stop to chat to people so every day I end up leaving 15 - 20m late. This isn't fair to me and is not OK so from now on if you want a lift with me, you need to be ready and leave at this time. If that's an issue, then I'm sorry but you will need to find someone else to give you a lift.

Then I'd have given it a week or so and every time you got to the car, I would have specifically noted the time out loud to her and said. Look it's 5.15. I did say I need to leave on time and then write it down.

Then when you 've got 4 or 5 times she's done it since you spoek to her, then say you remember when I mentioned this to you, since then every day I've been waiting for you til 15m 20 m (backed up with your collected data) so I'm afraid I can no longer do this.

That way you've given her fair warning and demonstrated she's a selfish arse.

If you make an excuse you open an opportunity for her to 'solve' the problem. For example - I need to make some stops on the way home now. - That's OK, I don't mind being in the car a bit longer.
It's not working because I need to be away at 5 sharp. - Oh, fair enough, I'll make sure I'm ready on time.
You need to say as little as possible. Something like 'X, I'm not going to be able to give you a lift after this week. It's not working for me any more.' Then you have to be tough when questioned. 'I'm not going to give lots of reasons, it's just not working so I won't be able to do it any more.'

It's tricky that she may end up being your manager, but you'll just have to deal with any aggro from that at the time if it happens. If resulting in stopping the lifts causes problems at work now, then you go straight to HR, hopefully you have them.

She has no respect for you, does she?
Just say that you'll no longer be able to give lifts, mention "family commitments" if you feel the need to explain, but don't get drawn into explaining your movements "oh I need to be home for x time to take y to her swimming..." Just keep the message short and simple. And be consistent. Thinking about doing it is the worst part so just get it over with.

Re:excuse, are your kids in a childcare setting? If yes, explain you’re leaving at Xpm sharp every day from here on as you have been fined now several times for late pick up of kids.

Then leave at Xpm sharp. Based on previous form, she will 100% miss the lifts and make new plans.

DONT make excuses.

JUST GO HOME without her fucking sorry ass.

After your work day is done, she has NO say over how you use your time.

GO HOME, fuck her. No explanation necessary and no BS excuses to her either.

If you're inventing an excuse, come with something cast iron or she'll resolve the 'problem' and you'll be back to square one.