AIBU to not want to drop work colleague home most days?

Explain that you have to leave on time. I had this and said colleague understood that if he wasn't by my car by X time, I went without him.

And every time she vapes ask her to stop, not open a window

But if she's going to be your manager she's going to be a nightmare

Keep walking and tell her you can't wait.

Go without her once and she'll learn

Does she offer to pay?

Just tell her you're happy to give her a lift, which is a great favour, but you have commitments so need to leave on time. Anyone with half a brain cell should realise how lucky they are and do it. X

Just say to her 'He x, I need to leave work by x time, if you're not in the car by then I'm afraid I'll have to leave' and do exactly that.

I used to give my friend a lift and she was always late, so I said the above and did just leave without her. She wasn't late again

Ok OP I can tell you hate confrontation.

How about you just say "look I probably should have mentioned this sooner but really I have child obligations at home at x time, and it feels like we are massively delayed every time as people want to talk to you as we leave. Can I just ask that we leave the build at x otherwise I have to leave without you."

I mean she might not know you are stressed about it.

My actual view is that she's a cheeky cow and you should have said no to start with.

How about telling her that if she’s going to be your line manager it would not be appropriate for you to give her a lift all the time otherwise other workers may feel there is a sort of friendship between you and could cause friction in future if they feel she is treating you/them differently.

Just say you are going to a friend's straight from work. Or that you need to go somewhere else in the other direction.

Tell her no more vaping. You don’t need to give her a reason. Your car must stink though! Your poor kids and your clothes will absolutely pong.

I agree she shouldn't be vaping in her car but this is absolute hyperbole

I can't keep being late home, as it's causing me problems with my other personal commitments.

From now on I will be heading straight down to the car park at 5pm sharp. I'll be setting off at 5.05pm so if you aren't in the car, you'll need to make your own way home as I can't wait for you.

If she gets her vape out - please don't vape in my car. I don't like the smell. If you need to vape whilst you're travelling then you'll need to find someone else to take you home.

Regardless of whether she's your manager or not. Boundaries. And if she starts acting up at work then you go to HR.

This. One time of doing this and leaving her stranded will ensure she's more grateful and punctual in the future.

just say “I have to leave straight away, if you’re at my car when I leave I can take you, if not sorry I’m off”.
just be blunt or say you can’t anymore it’s too much stress trying to get home in time waiting for you”.
ive learnt the hard way that you have to be blunt with some people.

Hell no. Nobody would smoke or vape in my car. Full stop. Never mind opening the window. You have been too kind and she is taking you for a mug on so many different levels.

Breeze past her and say “I’m leaving now if you want that lift”. Do not stop, go straight to your car and drive away. She will soon cop on.

Tell her no more vaping. You don’t need to give her a reason. Your car must stink though! Your poor kids and your clothes will absolutely pong.

Those few minutes absolutely make a difference when you have places to be after work. I’d just start going immediately- rush to your car and go. Tell her it’s now or never and you can’t wait. You’re the driver it’s on your terms.

I had a not so close friend try and backseat drive while I was driving a long way and she had taken a lift. She pointed out the speed limits (I was apparently going too slow), told me where to stop when my daughter was sick, while shouting at my daughter for being sick, and then trying to tell me which direction I should drive. I ignored her and just kept driving the way I wanted to. I’m not an Uber driver or taxi. She didn’t even offer to contribute to the £160 worth of fuel I paid for for the journey. I didn’t see her again after that trip.

Don’t be walking out the office with her - she thinks she’s already caught her lift if you’re with her. She’s either in the car at the right time or she’s not. The walk out of the office appears to be a grey area for her

Don’t make an excuse. Just say you need to be in the car by x time, which doesn’t seem to work for her, so unfortunately the arrangement will have to come to end end this week.

‘Doris! I’m leaving now, let’s go!’ Then walk out the door…tough luck if she wants to chat 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am literally setting off X. If you are not in the car at that time, I’m sorry but I will set off without you. It’s not personal, but I need to care for my children.
If you’ve warned her, she would be unreasonable to be upset about it.

Oh! If she's going to be your line manager you really need to invent an excuse. A pp mentioned a goat herding hobby!

Can think of nothing worse than needing to spend 20 minutes chatting/listening to your line manager AFTER work!

It sounds like you want your space back and don’t want her in the car anyway whether she’s on time or not.

So, just give her a week’s notice and say you’ll no longer be able to drop her home after work. If she pushes for a reason, just say something vague like “our family schedule has changed”. If she complains that you’ll be going past her house anyway, say “No, Liz, I very well might not. That’s what I’m saying - our schedule has changed and I’ll no longer be able to give you a lift after [date]”

Just don't do it.

It feels amazing to say NO to entitled arseholes. They value their time and convenience over anyone else's. But they can only do this with your consent. Do not consent. Say

NO.

It literally is so freeing to get rid of all the checker fucker arrangements. There are many out there.

Blimey. She is one cheeky cow
you are doing her a great favour
just roar as your going I am off now
if you want a lift better come now or I will just drive off😳

I would say that every minute after work that I get to spend with my kids is very important to me, therefore I won’t be able to give you a lift anymore. If you’re able to meet me as soon as work finishes at the car, I don’t mind as I pass your house on the way but I can no longer hang around after work anymore.

Tell her once in the morning that you were late getting your child to an activity which made your child upset.
Then at home time just go out the door and say you are going and if she needs a lift you had better run.

Tell them, if they aren't at your car by a certain time you have to leave. I had the same with a colleague, they would go to the toilet for 15 mins at the end of the day. In the end I told them that I finish at 5, and I'm leaving at 5, not 5.15 or 5.20. Didn't happen after that.