AIBU to not want to drop work colleague home most days?

Oh my.... she doesn't have any consideration at all.... Have a word ... and you don't have to give any excuses.... just tell her i am leaving at "x" time please be ready to go.... and nothing wrong if you simply just dont want to deal with her while going home.... you don't have to give her any excuses AT ALL.... Take care! Ah this situation will give you bad energy .... and you dont need to take this kind of energy back home (family)

Presumably if you’re leaving when other people are still there, you’re on reduced hours or flexitime, and you’ve picked that finishing time to accommodate your family commitments.

Her dicking around is effectively having you at work over your finishing time for free.

Value yourself and your time more. I’d also look to change departments or get a new job if she’s going to be your manager, she doesn’t sound like she is a believer in a good work/life balance

Oh my word, you don’t need an excuse!

Just state you have to leave on time if she wants a lift and there’s to be no vaping in your car because it isn’t “just steam”.

Those are your conditions if she wants a lift - she won’t adhere to them as she’s a massive CF. You’ll get your peace and quiet back. She can get the bus (and miss it as she’s chatting, and not vape because it’s not permitted on public transport!)

Glad you are putting a stop to it.

I vape but I don’t vape in my own car if there is someone else in it. That is entitled CF behaviour from her.

I used to do exactly this. I would say to my colleague, the car leaves at 6.00 on the nose. Happy to drive you home if you're in it!

100% don’t accept money from her as it legitimises the time she will take.

Don't accept money because that makes it as if you work for her. She will feel she is paying you and can be even later.

Who told you she is going to be your line manager? A proper announcement with a set date? Check with your current line manager.

Just say in front of people very casually- bad news - I can't give lifts anymore. I can do today but that's it.
If she asks why just say too many time commitments and new arrangements.

If she presses you for why or points out you are putting her out, you just look surprised and say i have enough to worry about after work, and I can't be adding giving lifts anymore. . I'm sure someone else will help you!

Just tell her that if she's not ready to go then you're going to leave without her.

Tell her .... I need to leave at x, if you are not ready at that I'm afraid I will have to leave without you.

You must follow through and leave on time

Just tell her that she needs to be ready to leave, as soon as you are leaving and that if she's not ready you will have to go without her, because she keeps making you late getting home for the kids!

Could you not tell a white lie some days and say you can't offer a lift as your going to a friend's etc, the other days say I need to leave at x and I will have to leave without you.

Continuing to give her a lift as people are suggesting still marks OP out as a pushover.

It's not just that this woman is late every day, it's that she has imposed herself on the OP and insists on fucking vaping to boot.

OP just needs to say no. It's really easy to do. The cheeky fucker can get the bus.

I would run out the door, start the car , move as close to the door as possible and beep so she knows you're in a hurry. If she doesn't come out in 1 minute drive off and tell her you had an emergency. She'll know then that you aren't a pushover.

Noooo don't do this, you already have children you don't need to be chasing someone like this. Just tell her no can do no more

I voted YABU purely because you keep doing it! You have told her you need to get straight home, she dismisses your feelings (either intentionally or unintentionally) and continues to make you late when you are doing her a favour. Stop taking her.

You should never have got roped into this situation. One or twice fine, but anymore she should offer fuel payments or (If she drove) offer lifts in return. "A good deed never goes unpunished" Your stuck now, she's also taking the biscuit in a major way by waffling on and loitering around, obvious she's one of them entitled ones..drop her like a bad habit.

I'd say something like: Sue, when I tell you what time I'm leaving I do need to leave bang on time. I like you so I've waited recently and its caused me to be late getting X to their activity. So I need to be clear, when I tell you what time I'm leaving you're more than welcome to jump in for a lift. Just meet me at the car. If you aren't there on time though I will have to leave anyway because I can't keep letting my children down.

Then mean it. 3pm at the car. At 3.02pm (which is generous) drive off with or without her.

You need to leave bang on the time you say you are going to leave.
No ifs, ands or buts.
She's at the car or she's finding another way home.

I just wouldn't bother with telling her you need to leave at X time just in case she gets her act together and stops the chatting on the way out! Give her the heads up by Friday that from Monday you have other commitments and not going that way anymore. Don't tell too many details in case she tries to catch you out. You don't need to justify what you do after hours anyway! Be cautious if she is going to be your manager. She sounds toxic.

« I can’t drop you anymore as the hour of activities have moved half an hour earlier. I am going to have to fly right the door ».

This would drive me crazy. I hate being late out of the door for anything and especially leaving work - I like my job but once the clock finishes so do I. I'd say 'meet you in this place at leaving time' and if she's not there just go. Say you assumed she found alternative transport.

Nobody vapes in my car!

I definitely wouldn’t be waiting for her. Just Pack up and go. You could say you’ll give her a lift if she’s at the car when you leave or something similar and if she’s not there - go home!

Also - who are these people who can't get themselves home on a regular basis? An emergency is one thing, but it's just wild how some people have such a sense of entitlement for other people's time/space.

This.
She's been such an inconsiderate PITA passenger, she'll probably be a PITA line manager as well so you really don't want to end up having to share a car with her every day. Forget the whole five minute warning, stressing about her delaying you, having to ask her not to vape scenario - just stop giving her lifts.

Tell her your post-work commitments have changed and you won't be able to give lifts any more. That's all you have to do. No excuses, no door open to changing it in the future, no discussion of lateness or vapeness, just shut it down now and reclaim the peace of mind she has stolen from you.