AIBU to not want to drop work colleague home most days?

Why is it no problem though? If it's every day it needs to be a car share thing.

How does she get home on other days? How did she manage before you joined?

I would say to her that giving her a lift home is no problem and your happy to do it however you need to leave at bang on x time for your kids, say she's been making you late and going forward if she's not ready your going to just have to go. I would try and say it in the nicest way possible whilst been very clear. If she's late again then just leave.

Tell her you have to leave at x time and leave the building exactly then. Say you can’t wait

God she is selfish, you don't need the stress, just tell her you are leaving and go. If she isn't ready then tough shit for her

Tell her you need to leave bang on 5 for your children and if she wants a lift to meet you by your car at that time- you can't wait. She may not have thought about your schedule at all.

Yeah you need to draw a line under that behavior- she doesn't get to call any shots on this!

Who's rude on the colleague's behalf? The OP?

I think it's very rude of the colleague, but I don't see anyone else being rude in this scenario.

Exactly that, I am taken aback you didn’t do it from the get go. I wonder to myself am I a bitch because I literally wouldn’t wait 5 minutes without a reason.

I'm a non driver. I wouldn't dream of making someone doing me a favour to wait that long
Just tell her- and go

Some good suggestions here. I agree this needs to be knocked on the head!

Hope the OP can update!

How did you get yourself in this situation in the first place?

She's already been warned, just leave without her, literally put on your jacket and leave. If she makes it to the car that's great but do not stand about on the side waiting for her to have conversations or take her time getting herself together. No excuses, no warnings - just leave

Way too much detail here!

I once arranged to pick up a colleague on the way to work. I made it clear she needed to be waiting outside her house, as it was a busy road and there was no easy place to park. On the second day, she was late and I didn't wait, just drove on. She wasn't happy, but that wasn't my problem. The arrangement fizzled out pretty quickly after that, which was more than fine by me.
Don't let her take you for a fool. Tell her how it's going to be from now on and mean it.

Be precise and tell them you're on a flier tonight and if they need a lift home to be at the car by 5.05.

That way if they're not there I'd assume they didn't need a lift

I has this same situation. I spoke to her before lift time and told her I needed to leave at 7. When it got to this time. I said to her I need to go now. She wasn't ready so I just said l need to go, see you later. It was tough the first time, but relieved my stress getting home for the kids. She never did get any better. She was probably only ready to leave with me 50% of the time, I never waited for her again on school days.

She's not worried about you or ruining your relationship, is she?

If you want to give her a chance say at the end of the day, in earshot of others, "Anne I've got to leave on time to pick up the kids. I'll wait in the car for two minutes then I've got to leave." If she doesn't turn up, go.

Or just "Anne I can't give you lifts anymore. I need to leave at five on the dot for my schedule to work and you don't finish until quarter past."

You're going to have to get a little uncomfortable to deal with it. But once you realise the world doesn't end with a little confrontation, you will feel so liberated.

Mary, I’m leaving at 5,30 on the dot today, if you’re not by the door/at the car at that time, I’ll have to leave without you.

And stick to your word - leave if she’s not ready. She doesn’t respect you if she expects you to wait for her every evening, you owe her no favours, so don’t worry about upsetting her.

15 to 20 minutes IS a lot. Just say to her I have to leave at X time from now on. And then don't wait for her. She is taking the piss.

Mary, I'm leaving right now if you want a lift be at my car when I'm leaving.

Then leave without her. She is being so selfish.

Just say at lunch that you’ll meet her by the car at 4 (or whenever) and if she’d like a lift to meet you there.

You don’t need to tell lies, offer excuses or give any reason. She wants a favour, those are the terms. There’s nothing unreasonable or unpleasant about saying it like it is.

15-20 mins waiting for her? No! If anyone aaa giving me a lift (and I can’t imagine being comfortable with that weekly let alone multiple times a week), I’ll be ready by exit/ agreed waiting place 5 mins before agreed time so that I don’t inconvenience them any more than already am.

Why are you the one worrying about ruining the working relationship?! She's the one being rude and inconsiderate.
I'd tell her you can't do it anymore, she's had her chance and she ruined it

Fred, I need to be clear. If you want a lift you need to be out of here promptly at 5.01pm with me. If you want to say goodbye & have a chat with people that's fine, but I can't wait around while you're doing it.
I have children to collect from and deliver to activities, I need to feed them and we have to get homework done and kit ready for the next day. My evenings are packed and with nights drawing in I'm not having my kids waiting in the dark for collection because you've spent 20 minutes getting out of the office.

I hope that's clear because I'm not going to nag you - after all you're not one of my children - if you're not ready to go I will leave without you.

Best said Iin front of a couple of witnesses so when you inevitably leave because Fred is nattering others will say that you warned him