AIBU to not want to drop work colleague home most days?

If you are genuinely happy to give her a lift and the timing is the only issue then tell her that your home routine has changed, your children have commitments so you will be leaving on the dot. If she is in the car she is welcome to a lift but if she is not you will be leaving without her.

Can't say fairer than that.

DH used to give DD a lift to school to save her a half hour walk. She started holding him up so I just told him to go without her. When she was finally ready and asked where's Dad, I said, he left. You missed your ride. You're walking today. It only happened a couple more times and after that she was ready every single time.

Natural consequences are the most effective way to change behaviour.

Make up an excuse why you can't do lifts anymore more that she can't verify eg now you need to take kids to X club at 3.15 so you need to leave bang on time. If she leaves on time OK, if not then leave her.

Line manager!
She doing it on purpose because she's got you over a barrel, hmmm, tricky.
You got any dirt on her OP?

Oh dear oh dear oh dear🙈

Don't give her reasons for discontinuing the lifts as these are an in for the CF to say they'll be good in future, yadda yadda.

Email so you have a record as this is work-related: I'm not able to give lifts anymore/not working for me.

You just need to speak up and make it crystal clear that either she's ready to go immediately at a certain time or you will go without her. Why does everyone on mumsnet find this so hard?

“Hi, this isn’t working for me - I need to leave on time and it’s affecting my childcare arrangements. I hope you understand.”

That’s it. You’ve been doing her a favour for a while and she’s wasted 15 minutes times the number lifts of your life.

When she stops to chat just say ‘sorry I have to go right now I can’t stop!’ And keep walking. She either comes to or has her chats. You are doing her a favour.

She’s your LINE MANAGER? Omg this is all kinds of wrong. I think in that case I’d be leaving and going to a new job!

Hmm, the type of person who dismisses you asking her not to do something (vaping) in YOUR car, and deliberately makes you wait for her (she knows what she’s doing), when you are doing her a massive favour assumingly for no reciprocation (contribution to petrol/occasional cake?), is not the type of person who will take kindly to you validly pointing out that she is causing you inconvenience or you leaving her behind despite warning her you will do this.

She will hold a grudge which you don’t want if she’s going to be your line manager.

She’s a rude, entitled user who has no respect for you as a person or the favour you’re doing her.

You need to cut this off completely.

Tell her you can’t give her a lift anymore as you are going in a different direction. Relative/friend/childminder in another area is picking up DC from school from now on and you are picking them up from theirs before taking them straight to their activities.

If she happens to see your car going past her house, just say you realised you forgot something of DC’s they need at home so had rush back to grab it. Hopefully she’ll have a long journey home by public transport so won’t be back before you have been and left, or will find someone to use and lose interest in you!

She’s a cheeky fucker. Be very clear about the time you are leaving annd that this anpplies all the time, not just once, and tell her you need to go if she’s pissing around and if she still wants a lift she needs to come now then exit. God, I hate people who take the piss like that and have zero self awareness!

Oh and if she is your new line manager, start looking for a new job she will be a nightmare to work for if she is unable to accept simple boundaries.

I think instead of saying “we need to leave at X time.” You need to say “my car needs to be on the road at X time, no later. Otherwise I'm late for commitments with the children." Because if it is the former she probably thinks technically you are leaving at the time you want but it's taking her so long to get to the car which she is not taking into consideration. She's a faffing her way out the door. So if you tell her the car needs to leave the parking lot at exactly this time with or without her then it is crystal clear that she needs to be there or miss out.

OP it sounds like you just don't want to give her a lift.

" Hi X, just to let you know I can't give you a lift home any more".

No reasons, excuses, send it in an email if you want to avoid her (but face to face is better).

She is taking the piss, she will bully somone else soon don't worry you aren't her first rodeo.

Next time you need to leave, leave on time. You’re not responsible for her, you’re doing her a favour. If you want to carry on doing it, just say, ‘’Mary, I’m leaving in five minutes and no later as I have to rush home. If you want a lift you have to be ready or I will need to leave without you’’ and stick to it. She will learn her lesson.

So, if you don't want to give her a lift, then just tell her tomorrow, "After the end of this week, I won't be able to give you a lift anymore". You don't need to give reasons, nor invent clubs your dc aren't going to.

Sorry OP just read your update. Polite and to the point sorry I'm not going straight home today so can't give you a lift . Repeat and repeat. I don't envy you having her as a line manager oh dear 🙈

This would drive me nuts. But I’d happily make up some BS story so she needs to make alternative arrangements.

Hey Jane, next week I can’t give you lifts as I have to be at my Mum’s straight after work.

If you really can't face this cheeky fucker head on, just lie...... 'I'm not going straight home tonight Sharon, you'll have to make your own way'. Do this as often as you can, it gets easier (and she may even stop asking for lifts in the end).

As for the vaping, I had this one time with a workmate in my car and I said 'Please can you not? I just don't like it. Thank you'. I think that's a pretty polite way of dealing with it.

Do you walk out to the car together? Maybe leave a minute or 2 before her so you don't get caught waiting for her to finish chatting on her way out. Say something like I'm just nipping to the loo see you at the car but I do need to leave straight away I can't be late . I think you just need to be v tough a few times and she will either get the hump or get the message. Either way problem sorted!! Or else invent something u have to do on the way home like go direct to football practice so u can't give her a lift. People are just unreal . I cannot imagine the entitlement of delaying a mum at the end of the work day

I just tell people straight, "If you want a lift, I pull out of the car-park at 4:35pm. I have to be home by 4:50 so that I can quickly tend to the dog then watch 'JEOPARDY' from 5pm."

My addiction to Jeopardy is so well known by my work colleagues, no-one wanting a lift to my suburb would keep me waiting. Everyone still talks about Wayne and how I left him behind walking "late" across the worksite car-park because he wanted to stay behind to hear Melinda's joke. That was five years ago.

She doesn't "Need" the lift OP, and she doesn't respect you.

People treat you how you let them.

1st reply nailed it.

As you've let it go on so long, then it would be fair to give her a warning, but make it clear (even better if you can do so in front of colleagues) that your dc need to be collected and that you need to leave by X time (4mins past 5 or whatever seems reasonable). That, if she is ready to come with you then, she is still welcome to a lift, but you are no longer able to wait if she isn't ready.

What a shame you've just started your new daily goat herding hobby that starts immediately after work.

Well said.

You have your own car, your own life, your own kids and you don't owe her anything.

She's a user.

This!