To not know whether the school are at fault in how they dealt with my 16 year old and 10 months old very academic but immature Autistic daughter after she acted out due to her disabilties.

Amazing how people are quick to jump in without even bothering to read the OP! The OP clearly uses the term 'learning disabilities'

4th paragraph

There are a bunch of complaints in your post, most of which don't seem to be particularly connected and you aren't particularly clear on.

Unless you or your DD never consented to her image to being posted or have made an explicit request not to post her pictures, the school was utterly blameless in treating her like the other high-achievers. You can't expect the school to anticipate your DD's upset when neither you nor her were able to. Do you really want them to exclude her from positive things alongside her peers on the off chance that it sets her off unexpectedly days later?

Academically it sounds like she's very strong. While there are certainly programs for students to do A levels over 3 years when appropriate, that is not a reasonable accomodation at a grammar school. And 4 A-levels is perfectly reasonable given her GCSEs unless she has been opposed to it or she starts struggling. It's possible for her to drop a subject but she can't just pick up a new one if she doesn't start struggling as you seem to expect.

Asking her to stay home is a sticky subject and I'm no expert on the rules around exclusions post-GCSE so I won't opine on that. But it does sound like they're trying to make an allowance for her autism by not formally disciplining her while also not just ignoring behavior that shouldn't be ignored. As usual this thread is full of the two extremes, either completely ignoring the role of autism in emotional control or saying silly things like "autistic children can't associate what they've done with the consequences." The truth lies somewhere in the middle, so if you think a different consequence is more appropriate, suggest it. Either way I would focus your energy on working with your DD on what to do instead the next time she's angry, and work with the school to put a plan in place if needed.

And school I think is acting unlawfully. She should be suspended - not given time off.

Probably don’t want if logged on league tables

Regarding the swearing - she misbehaved. She apologised. School might sanction

has this really never happened before ?

Surely they asked permission???

plus full name?

this sounds weird

She may be 'overly remorseful' due to her autism - but if she wants to be taking A levels in a mainstream school (and presumably then go on to university/ a career) then she needs to learn appropriate responses. It's no help to the teacher that the dd is now desperately unhappy that she swore at them. No one should be disrespected like this.

And yes like many others on this thread, I have experience of working with young people with autistim and other challenges: it's a cheap shot to just tell those of us who are saying the dd's behaviour was unacceptable and that time out from
School is appropriate, just don't understand autism. We do. We also know it's not an excuse to treat others badly. Besides, if the dd is overwhelmed and now feeling an over the top emotion of remorse, she probably needs time to decompress and regroup so time off school is likely meeting her needs

I see this too.

No wonder teachers leave.

I wonder why we bothered as he wasn’t learning how to cope in the real world
I saw this a lot when I worked in education. Pupils repeatedly got away with behaviour that wouldn’t be tolerated outside of school. Then they ended up being ostracised, unemployed or even put in jail because they’d never been taught to behave appropriately.

You say she's "over remorseful". I'd suggest maybe she's appropriately remorseful, and you're the one who's minimising.

She swore at a teacher. Actions have consequences. It's not like she's been permanently excluded. This gives her a chance to regulate and reset. The school should do a positive back to school meeting with her, then you all move forwards.

it is possible if she studies for 2 subjects year 1, adds in a third the following year but only has to sit two exams and then only has one subject and one set of exams in year 3.

takes the pressure off somewhat

I get that, op, it was explained to me a good many years ago that having learning difficulties means just that, difficulty in learning, for any reason. It doesn't automatically indicate a low IQ, a conclusion most people jump to.

Expecting schools to make reasonable adjustments is one thing, but it doesn’t mean bad behaviour should be ignored/ excused. In the real world, people cannot use autism an excuse for unacceptable / illegal behaviour. A young man we carefully nurtured at a school I worked in, was arrested for assaulting a police officer when he refused to leave a burger bar( which was closing and wouldn’t serve him). The police didn’t have to make adjustments for him, yet in school we’d run rings around giving him the benefit of the doubt, time out, places to cool down etc. I wonder why we bothered as he wasn’t learning how to cope in the real world.

the OP’s daughter could be mentally 8
Someone with learning disabilities that made them mentally 8 would not be studying A levels.

Autistic children don’t respond to “consequences”
Not true. Some children with learning disabilities don’t understand consequences. But this isn’t a characteristic of autism.

Autism also causes children to be cognitively and emotionally behind their peers, usually substantially
What a load of nonsense people are posting on this thread. Autism doesn’t necessarily affect intelligence. Lots of autistic people have normal or superior intelligence.

OP I have autism and it doesn’t mean you can go around verbally abusing people. You need to assist your daughter in learning to manage her emotions and behaviours otherwise she’ll struggle to have a normal life. The world outside school isn’t going to adapt to her (beyond “reasonable adjustments” and sometimes not even that). She needs to learn coping strategies. This sort of behaviour won’t be tolerated in the workplace, so even if she achieves a degree she won’t be able to keep a job unless she can learn to behave appropriately. If her disability means she can’t behave appropriately then fair enough, but that will impact upon her life and her options.

OP you’re not going to get a hugely helpful response here. You need to speak to an SEN advocate who can help you to navigate your daughter’s rights in school given her disability.

Sending her home for two days without any formal process isn’t legal and won’t help her in the long run.

Please contact SEN SOS or similar.

That's a massive generalisation. There are plenty of autistic people who DO understand consequences. I am one of them.

OP has anything like this ever happened before? What are you particularly worried about with the jump to A levels? I thrived at A level because I was doing the subjects I loved and the study was more in depth..

Op:

"when the photograph was taken in August at results day she was fine with it and in a other world. She probably would not have given it a thought to whether it would be published at times, she lives in the minute at times. Obviously has she gets older and more experienced with life, coping skills will be acquired which will enable her to deal better with issues, "

No. She's 17, in year 11. They mature a little in those 2 A'level years. Before say Uni.

But she can learn to drive, get a job, be thinking about uni. Op is babying her. She swore at staff, lives in the minute, but she has years???? To learn social skills and coping mechanisms ?

No she doesn't, she doesn't have that long, this won't be tolerated in the workplace or at uni. She needs to mature quickly, learn skills and coping strategies. Are you autistic yourself OP? What have you put in place to help her, learn these things quickly?

YABVU
And you aren't even answering questions, nor responding to posts. Many posters have lots of ASD awareness. What exactly is it that you want OP? To just sound off, suggestions?
Swearing at staff is not ok, have you talked to dd about her photo in the newsletter. The whole A'level's over 3 years seems unnecessary. Have you spoken to her HoY and Senco about moving this forward?

Your daughter abused staff members. Autistic or not she needs to learn how entirely unacceptable that is.

You have sent your child to a grammar school. Therefore you have chosen a very academic school that will be quite high pressured (that is why people send their children to them). You will have had lots of opportunity to discuss your child’s A level choices with them and with the school. Even if it is the school policy for all children to take 4 A-levels, they are very likely to make exceptions for the sake of a child’s mental health, especially if they have an autism diagnosis, but you will need to communicate with them about your concerns. They may not be able to have children for 3 years at Alevel. Schools have to apply to be able to take older pupils and a lot will not do this.

The photo situation sounds unfortunate but I’m not sure anyone could predict that, including you. The law is not necessarily the same for exclusions post 16.

All the more reason she should do it. She might actually learn something. Either way, I wouldn't fancy my chances trying to dictate an autistic teenager's A-level choices.

@coruscations It's ridiculous to say that the school staff "published the photo knowing she would be very distressed by it" How on earth would they know that? If the OP knows photos are a huge trigger she should have informed the school officially and had DD's records noted, quite obviously she hasn't done this. It would seem the outburst has taken everyone by surprise - the school staff are not magically able to predict an outcome that even the OP didn't see coming.

So she's chosen to do one of her 4 A levels in a subject where the 'learning disability' she experiences manifests itself is most obviously.....🤔 And you let her make that choice. 🙄

A learning difficulty and a learning disability are not interchangeable, a disability implies a more profound effect on the person. In order to have a learning disability, someone needs an IQ of 70 or under.

Do you think she may have felt obliged to have her photograph taken on results day? She wanted to say no but couldn't express this to whoever took the picture? I can understand how overwhelming it can be, especially being autistic as well. Can you speak to school & get an assurance that they won't take any more pictures of her, it may help her feel calmer when she goes back, I know at that age ds would have run a mile if he had been forced into having his picture taken & been the centre of attention like that, maybe ask if everything can be more low key to allow her to be more comfortable in school.