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Original poster

To think DH should pay for DSC school fees

306 replies

Spaceg · 24/09/2024 21:20

Just wanted to get your thoughts on this: would you expect your husband to pay school fees for your children / his step children?

If yes, would you expect his to continue to pay school fees if you separated?

My response would be yes to both.

Youre a family, and therefore everything should be shared equally. If you did separate, you should continue to pay the fees the same way you would for your biological children.

Edit: the same would apply if the genders were reversed.

OP posts:
Teisen1990 · 24/09/2024 21:26

Spaceg · 24/09/2024 21:23

Seriously? I don't thing there should be a distinction between parent and step parent.

You are a family and you should treat all the children equally.

Show quote history

Tricky but thats your opinion.
Factually and legally they have no right to access or any say about their health, education etc etc. The payoff for this lack of parental responsibility is that there is no obligations.
Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too

99victoria · 24/09/2024 21:26

My inclination is also to say no but interestingly, when my ex and I divorced my daughter was 14. When I remarried 6 years later and she was at university, my husband's income was taken into account with regard to her student loan. My ex - her father - was not required to contribute financially in any way whatsoever!

BarbaraHoward · 24/09/2024 21:26

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 24/09/2024 21:24

Time for one of my favourite MN games: Reverse or batshit crazy?

Grin
ladybee2 · 24/09/2024 21:25

Absolutely not. Not their responsibility at all.

llamali · 24/09/2024 21:25

If yes, would you expect his to continue to pay school fees if you separated?

This would be even weirder!

TheGoodEnoughWife · 24/09/2024 21:25

As much as you don't think there should be a distinction there is!

Not biological child = no obligation to pay for school fees!

thursdaymurderclub · 24/09/2024 21:25

nope... if you want your DC to go to private school, its on you and their bio parent!

if your DH left.. absolutely they should not continue to pay...

who's decision was it to send them to private school?

catscalledbeanz · 24/09/2024 21:25

Immediately I think the very idea is ridiculous. Certainly for step children. Even his own children, in so much as surely finances would have to be considered? If he can continue to pay AND support an independent home and all of his needs then yes, of course. If continuing to pay leaves him in shared accommodation without decent wifi? Obviously no.

I can only imagine a man continuing to pay step children fees if he were very kind, very very rich and unusually understanding.

BarbaraHoward · 24/09/2024 21:25

Spaceg · 24/09/2024 21:23

Seriously? I don't thing there should be a distinction between parent and step parent.

You are a family and you should treat all the children equally.

Show quote history

Of course there's a distinction.

Most women wouldn't be happy at all ex's new partner proclaiming herself to be the children's mother!

gamerchick · 24/09/2024 21:25

No way. Why should a step parent pay when the actual parents get away with it?

Barabajagal · 24/09/2024 21:25

What contribution is the children’s father making?

Frozenberries · 24/09/2024 21:25

no. If a parent wants their kid to go to private school then they pay for it. As if you’d expect a step parent to when the child presumably has 2 parents of its own who should pay

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 24/09/2024 21:24

Time for one of my favourite MN games: Reverse or batshit crazy?

GrazingGoat · 24/09/2024 21:24

Has he been paying your kids fees and now you’re splitting?

llamali · 24/09/2024 21:24

Spaceg · 24/09/2024 21:23

Seriously? I don't thing there should be a distinction between parent and step parent.

You are a family and you should treat all the children equally.

Show quote history

Well there very much is. My dsc would be so confused if I started parenting them

UpTheMagicFarawayTree · 24/09/2024 21:23

I think it depends on what you decide as a couple and a family.

llamali · 24/09/2024 21:23

The parents or legal guardians of the child pay the child's school fees.

IAmASpoon · 24/09/2024 21:23

Everything should probably be shared equally while married, and then you can spend your half on your kids' fees. It might mean going without a lot of other things though.

Original poster
Spaceg · 24/09/2024 21:23

NorthernGirlie · 24/09/2024 21:21

No. That's a parents job, not a step parents job

Seriously? I don't thing there should be a distinction between parent and step parent.

You are a family and you should treat all the children equally.

OP posts:
LePetitMaman · 24/09/2024 21:22

What utter craziness is this?

Absolutely not. Pay for your own children. Or get their actual dad too.

DuskandDawn · 24/09/2024 21:22

Hard no.

sanityisamyth · 24/09/2024 21:22

Teisen1990 · 24/09/2024 21:22

Absolutely not to both. Cf of the highest order to expect that

This.

BrieHugger · 24/09/2024 21:22

No to both. Lovely if it’s possible and it’s offered, but I certainly wouldn’t expect it, especially after divorcing.

SickofSoup · 24/09/2024 21:22

I don’t understand why the are father has any obligation or responsibility for paying the school fees of another child that presumably has two parents that are responsible for that?

BarbaraHoward · 24/09/2024 21:22

No to both here as well.

Reverse?

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