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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's fine to not want to date someone because of their job?

216 replies

Terracata · 24/09/2024 19:23

According to my friend I am unreasonable. Met a guy on online dating, he said he worked for the council. Didn't go into detail re what until the date. He then told me that he is one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars. Cue me very quickly deciding I don't want to date him.

Personally I think at first date stage you can afford to be picky and can choose not to date someone for whatever reason you want. I don't want to date someone who waits around for someone to go 11 mins over their parking time to shove a ticket on their car.

Friend thinks I'm being daft and 'it's just a job'.

AIBU?

OP posts:
NQOCDarling · 24/09/2024 19:52

XelaM · 24/09/2024 19:34

I'm so with you OP!!! Absolutely disgusting job 😖

Wow

SauviGone · 24/09/2024 19:52

DietrichandDiMaggio · 24/09/2024 19:50

What's your issue with PTs? I think that could be quite useful.

Show quote history

Every single one I've encountered, whether they are married, in a relationship or single, has been a total sleaze. I've yet to come across the exception that proves the rule.

NQOCDarling · 24/09/2024 19:51

Terracata · 24/09/2024 19:23

According to my friend I am unreasonable. Met a guy on online dating, he said he worked for the council. Didn't go into detail re what until the date. He then told me that he is one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars. Cue me very quickly deciding I don't want to date him.

Personally I think at first date stage you can afford to be picky and can choose not to date someone for whatever reason you want. I don't want to date someone who waits around for someone to go 11 mins over their parking time to shove a ticket on their car.

Friend thinks I'm being daft and 'it's just a job'.

AIBU?

So, you think it's reasonable to go over the time you have paid for when parking? Does that apply to other activities with parameters? 1 minute, 11 minutes or 111 minutes, it's all the same; takingvthe piss, but "it's only a couple of mins"...
And that by-laws, civil law and criminal law can be flexed according to your wants and needs?
Or are embarrased to date a traffic warden?

Cm19841 · 24/09/2024 19:51

It is fine for most reasons because it won't work out if you're not all in. But you accept that it may be your loss.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 24/09/2024 19:50

SauviGone · 24/09/2024 19:43

I wouldn't date one either. Likewise police, armed forces, gym/PT instructor.

What's your issue with PTs? I think that could be quite useful.

DrummingMousWife · 24/09/2024 19:50

Your rules, your criteria, your love life.

Original poster
Terracata · 24/09/2024 19:49

And my point really was why does it matter? It was a first date, and I didn't owe him anything. But my friend seemed to think I owed him a second date.

OP posts:
Original poster
Terracata · 24/09/2024 19:48

Clearinguptheclutter · 24/09/2024 19:46

Dunno I think they do an important and thankless task tbh.

I wouldn’t be concerned by the job as much as lack of ambition. But perhaps he’s fallen on hard times and it’s a stopgap. So I’d given him a chance. But if his long term plan is to be a traffic warden then no I’d not fancy that.

He's in his 40s and had been doing it for 6 years because he likes being outside. To be honest I never framed it like that just wasn't for me.

OP posts:
EngineEngineNumber9 · 24/09/2024 19:47

I don’t know why everyone is so down on traffic wardens.

As per a PP I wouldn’t date polis or military. Or an estate agent.

Dmsandfloatydress · 24/09/2024 19:47

When I was dating I would also discount police and armed forces. Total clash of values so never would have worked. I have friends who are both and we get on great but on a romantic level it would be a dead end for me. I also discounted unemployed artists who wafted around doing ' therapies'. Triggered my PTSD from a hippie childhood 😂. Date who you like!

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/09/2024 19:46

Traffic wardens are hated

But if people paid to park like they should then they wouldn't get a ticket

I think you were a bit hasty to say no due to his job if you liked his company

As someone said lawyers who get off perves and paeds are scum imo not a traffic warden just doing their job

Clearinguptheclutter · 24/09/2024 19:46

Dunno I think they do an important and thankless task tbh.

I wouldn’t be concerned by the job as much as lack of ambition. But perhaps he’s fallen on hard times and it’s a stopgap. So I’d given him a chance. But if his long term plan is to be a traffic warden then no I’d not fancy that.

Happyher · 24/09/2024 19:45

Date who you want - it’s purely up to you and no-one else’s business

Newsenmum · 24/09/2024 19:44

The only thing I’d say, is that most people don’t do it because they love it but because they need a job. I agree it’s very annoying, but I’d rather that then someone who works in something that damages children for example. It also depends on his attitude towards it. It might put me off too, so I get it. But if probably do one more date to check it all out.

missmollygreen · 24/09/2024 19:44

If I met someone who was put off by my job I would think I had a lucky escape.
Red flag

DoIWantTo · 24/09/2024 19:43

I’d never date anyone that works for the police in any capacity, ditto the armed forces. But those are the only two job related hard lines for my dating life.

Original poster
Terracata · 24/09/2024 19:43

StridingIn · 24/09/2024 19:37

I feel sorry for traffic wardens. A very tough job and not one somebody with other options usually chooses. I am in London and most wardens here are from ethnic minorities and they also have hideous racism directed at them.

I would not think less of someone for doing the job.

Very different where I live, but it's not very diverse here. I do not condone racism of course, just don't want to date a traffic warden.

OP posts:
SauviGone · 24/09/2024 19:43

I wouldn't date one either. Likewise police, armed forces, gym/PT instructor.

FionnulaTheCooler · 24/09/2024 19:42

You can date who you want but I think you're being a bit precious here. Traffic warden is a legitimate job and without them people would take the absolute piss parking wherever they want with no consequences.

Gymrabbit · 24/09/2024 19:42

It’s fine to date who you want.
but I’m generally unsure whether you are a snob or someone who thinks rules are for other people and no one must be curtailed in their selfish disregard for rules.
I genuinely can see no other reasons why you wouldn’t date someone who enforces parking rules.

Original poster
Terracata · 24/09/2024 19:41

OrdinaryMatilda · 24/09/2024 19:37

Why is it? If people didn't park like twats, they wouldn't get a ticket.

Actually disgusting jobs are defence lawyers for paedophiles and the like.

Show quote history

I don't think it's a disgusting job. It's one of those where it's necessary but feel it takes a certain person to do it. I couldn't morally live with myself sticking a fine on a car of someone who is 1 minute over the grace period, which has happened to a couple of my neighbours (one was 1 minute over. One two minutes. Both had parked in a 1 hour bay outside our house. One ran outside with a baby in her arms and boob almost hanging out and they proceeded to put the ticket on her car with her stood there crying) without feeling bad. As another poster stated, I believe we need the police but I wouldn't date a police officer.

OP posts:
MissSkegness1951 · 24/09/2024 19:40

I've yet to encounter a ticket inspector that wasn't fighting the urge to goose step up and down the pavement whilst looking to slap a ticket on a car, so no I wouldn't entertain the thought of dating one!

Waterboatlass · 24/09/2024 19:40

You can turn down anyone you like as long as you're not insulting about it.

It's a necessary job tho even if nobody likes being ticketed. I wouldn't put it in the gambling/ tobacco industry category.

TimelyIntervention · 24/09/2024 19:40

I think it’s fine to stop dating anyone for any reason. Gets a bit different once kids and finances are involved.

I also think traffic warden is a perfectly normal job and a ridiculous thing to judge someone about.

Badbadbunny · 24/09/2024 19:39

You have the right not to date someone for absolutely any reason or no reason at all. It's entirely up to you!