Telegraph article - ‘We gave our son £325k to buy a flat – or he would have been stuck renting forever’

If I had the money, I'd buy my daughter a house in a heartbeat. Why wouldn't I?

ETA: sorry, didn't mean to quote your post there.

DH has been given money all his life, university fees, any trip he wants to go on, expensive hobbies etc. His parents have money through inheriting etc, they’re frugal too. We got given about £250k for a house deposit which has helped us enormously as we have a small mortgage now.

I’ve never had a penny from my family because they don’t have the same mentality. I had a house that I saved for and bought before meeting DH, I saved for it by living in houssshares, getting the bus etc. DH is absolutely terrible with money, he earns more than me and despite all the handouts I have more saved than him now!

if your family members are 26 to 35 though, most of them aren't Gen Z but Gen Y/Millennials.

Not being pedantic but just to illustrate there's quite a big gap in potential lifestyles between the oldest and youngest of a generation, let alone between generations. Take millennials - born 1996 so the youngest will be approx 28 now, and the oldest born 1980 - so would be 44. Tuition fees went from nothing, to £3k p/y, to over £9k within that time, for one example. Whether you graduated pre- or post-2008 recession would have had a huge impact on your career and earning potential. If you were 28 and wanting to buy a house today, average house price is £260,000 today, whereas it would have been £156,000 when the oldest millennials were the same age as you. etc....

Interesting thread. We'll be giving our dcs £80-100k each. Only able to do that because we're older parents and inherited a total over £500k from our own parents.
Am acutely conscious that this is very unfair but we aren't going to not help our dcs because others don't get this sort of help.

well exactly. The basic premise, that lots of people are getting money from parents in order to be able to afford to buy, is one thing, but then they deliberately find the most extreme example to get views. 'I gave my kids £500' doesn't prompt as much debate, does it.

In this case, the son would never have been "stuck" renting forever - with his and his partner's salary they probably could have afforded to buy in many places outside London (or even outside the desirable area they wanted to live in), had they wanted to. Also even if the parents hadn't given them that money now, presumably he and his sister would have inherited whatever was left of it after inheritance tax and, if needed, care fees upon their death anyway.

Which makes the 'it's not fair' argument moot.
It's NOT fair that those with generational wealth and generous parents get a leg up on the housing ladder, but if they didn't, whether it was morally frowned upon or banks tightened up their mortgage criteria even more or whatever, eventually the same people would get an inheritance anyway, and those whose parents couldn't afford to give them a spare £325k when they were 28 would be unlikely to be leaving them £325k when they are 50. Unless we start calling each other comrade, most people are going to want to help their kids out where they can.

I suppose the only light at the end of the tunnel is that I doubt house prices are going to increase as drastically again (more than 10/20x in 30 years in some places) - because wages have stagnated so much. It would be impossible for there to be enough people earning well enough to afford todays 1.2 million house if it became 2050s 18million house in central London, or even if todays £300k house in the outskirts of Hull becomes 2050s £4.5million. With that and the birth rate falling at some point things will probably even out a bit, but it will never be completely fair, because life isn't completely fair!

Do we all need to understand whether another person has more than we do ourselves in order to establish a moral judgement over what the other person does or doesn't do - is there a scale somewhere - does identity trump this in the moral gymnastics world cup? Or any of the 'ists and 'isms?

My DS will get our house only when we've snuffed it and if we don't need care home fees. We've sod all savings.

So he'll have to fund his own university years and housing 'till then. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't really mix in the sort of circles that the OP's referring to, but I do know a lot of farming families who have additional properties built on their farmland to house adult offspring. However, I feel sorry for the oldest sons who are expected to carry on farming regardless of their own interests.

You OK hun?

Oh well that all got a bit fucking silly and only three pages in…

It must be a generation thing. I got no help financially from my very working class parents as they didn't have any. I am the same with DS. Very few of my friends received financial help and those that did it was very little in today's terms

I don't know if anyone in my kids age group either that gets this 20s and 30s.

I do wonder what the future holds. I am lucky as I bought in the north east 10 years ago on my own. But back then it was very cheap and I lived in a shithole for years prior while I saved. I’ve no idea how people manage it now.

When no one can afford to buy in London without parental help they will move further out and drive up house prices elsewhere.

Where will the people from “elsewhere” go ?

We should be able to do something similar for ds when we retire and downsize. I very much want to. I don't see the problem. Its my money, my child. What's the point in waiting until we die before we can help him? He's an only child, we're older parents - nothing would make me happier than to know he has his own home before we shuffle off this mortal coil.

We are helping our DC not through inheritance but through money earned in a profession. We have been given no handouts but live frugally and are using pension/lump sums to help.

We managed to get on the property ladder early and our house doubled in value over 18 months which enabled us to move up the ladder.

I feel it is important to pass this on to my DC they have it so much harder. Rents are ridiculous.

If they start building more houses then maybe prices won't go up so much.

I have been fortunate enough to be able to help my kids out but I am very aware of how lucky they are, and I didn't have any help.

@floral2027 I’m not really sure what your point is. You don’t object to parents helping their children (since you had financial help yourself) but you object to people being helped too much? What is the cut off point then?

And I think you’re confusing cause and effect - parents helping children onto the housing ladder is not the cause of rising house prices, it is one effect of rising house prices. Income and wealth inequality are increasing and that is a huge issue but, what, telling people that cannot give their children money (or above a certain amount of money) to buy their first house is not really going to address the root cause of that. But I don’t sense that you care about that, you’re just jealous and think it’s unfair (lots of things are unfair…).

I imagine there's a bit of tax planning involved there too.

As long as M&D stay alive for the next 7 years, it will help avoid/reduce a hefty IHT bill.

I'd do the same if I was in their position.

So you think parents need to stop helping their children as it’s not fair on those who can’t? That’s life I’m afraid. It’s the same accross the board -some parents buy their 18 year olds cars, pay for their holidays, take them for fancy meals, pay for weddings etc,etc, etc. People in life aren’t equal - there’s always been haves and have nots, and those in between. .

YANBU that the bank of mum and dad will only entrench inequality between the haves and have nots. But YABU to think this is any more than a reaction to the real problem- spiralling house price and rent inflation due to an artificially created and perpetuated housing crisis.

The mums and dads who are able will certainly help their kids. It’s the decision of successive governments from Thatcher onwards that have created the housing affordability crisis.

Mums and dads gifting funds doesn’t inflate the prices.

"dipping into their investment portfolio" an option for about 1-2% of the population, but boy the impact it has on the rest of us. Property is a massive pyramid scheme yet to collapse.