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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?

444 replies

Doubtfulso · 24/09/2024 13:41

I’ve got a close friends wedding in Israel in 2 months and I am a bridesmaid. She is Israeli and so of course having her wedding in her home country.

I need to book the time off work now, and I work in the kind of company where everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been when you book leave.

there’s a lot of anger and strong feelings against Israel at the moment, and I’m worried that colleagues will turn against me or start treating me different when they know that I’m going to Israel.

would I be unreasonable to lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else, or should I be honest?

OP posts:
Original poster
Doubtfulso · 24/09/2024 14:56

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I’m going to support a very close friend on her wedding day. She and her family were on one of the kibbutz’s that was attacked by Hamas. Many of her neighbours were murdered or taken hostage and she is displaced in a different city. I think she deserves a bit of happiness on her wedding day.

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 24/09/2024 14:55

Comedycook · 24/09/2024 14:52

And judging by some of the responses, I think we can see why the op is feeling concerned about telling people.

I agree, I wouldn't tell anyone and probably wouldn't go anyway due to safety concerns, the whole situation is escalating and a wedding isn't essential, it can be video and facetime, it's just not worth the risk imo.

serenavanderwoodsenn · 24/09/2024 14:54

Comedycook · 24/09/2024 14:52

And judging by some of the responses, I think we can see why the op is feeling concerned about telling people.

She should be

EasternStandard · 24/09/2024 14:53

Comedycook · 24/09/2024 14:52

And judging by some of the responses, I think we can see why the op is feeling concerned about telling people.

True I just thought that

Comedycook · 24/09/2024 14:52

And judging by some of the responses, I think we can see why the op is feeling concerned about telling people.

serenavanderwoodsenn · 24/09/2024 14:51

This reply has been deleted

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kookoocachoo · 24/09/2024 14:50

For anyone to expect you to NOT support a friend due to Nationality, Race, Religion, Skin color, disability, Sex/gender/etc
is completely wrong.

I would say very much looking forward to friends wedding, they are great couple.

whatever else crap comments, I would say -

Oh please keep it positive, this is a wedding and I’m looking forward to it.

keep it typical wedding each time they spout -

I’m going to be buying matching shoes … and trying a new lipstick … Jewish weddings are great fun (they are!) …

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2024 14:49

No @Mumsntfan1 actual non-combatants. Children, old people, women. You know, the humans who are dead and dying, including the hostages, and the dead children in Gaza.

It's impossible to talk about this without this kind of assumption. Exactly what OP is talking about, but from the other direction.

EasternStandard · 24/09/2024 14:49

Doubtfulso · 24/09/2024 14:34

Thanks everyone. I have Israeli insurance which hopefully will be fine, and have booked through El-Al so fingers crossed it won’t be cancelled.

People at work tend to avoid the whole israel Palestine topic altogether, so I can’t imagine anyone saying anything negative to me. I worry more about the silent judgement and people thinking of me negatively. But I also hate lying!

I'd double check that insurance tbh over colleagues reactions. I wouldn't worry too much about the latter

Hmmmmamilucky · 24/09/2024 14:48

I would think it would be fine to tell people you are going from a judgement sort of way. She’s a friend, she lives there and is having her wedding there 🤷‍♀️. It doesn’t say anything about you (or her!) and whether you agree with the action of the Israeli government or not? However, I would be worried for your safety and think about not booking anything until the situation has died down…in two months they could be in all out war. I wouldn’t be happy with any of my loved ones travelling there now due to that

RedheadedSoulStealer · 24/09/2024 14:47

Saltedbutter · 24/09/2024 14:06

Because, without wishing to get into a debate on the politics of the matter, I wouldn’t travel to a country who I believe is committing genocide. For me that feels morally wrong.
Sorry if my answer adds any derailment to your thread, OP!

Show quote history

Your travel options are going to be very limited if you avoid countries that haven't committed war crimes or genocide.

Probably should leave the UK if you're there.

Maybe a yacht in the middle of the ocean?

I'm sorry, but Israel is no worse than many, many other countries and the people who bang on about it need to educate themselves on the atrocities being committed daily elsewhere that don't get nearly as much social media attention.

Mumsntfan1 · 24/09/2024 14:46

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2024 14:41

Any negative comments at work could be treated as anti-Semitism.

I've had comments and eyebrows raised for several countries I've been to or planned to go to. From China to El Salvador gets 'human rights' comments and safety comments. Why on earth should one country with a human rights issue be excluded?

OP I know my Jewish and Israeli friends worry about just being, never mind visiting. However, most of the non-Jewish, non-Israeli people I know are on the 'side' of non-combatants and are loving and supportive to their friends even if they are not supportive of the actions of Israel. Hopefully, you'll be surprised.

Which 'non combatants'? They ones who attacked Israel and are still holding hostages including a one year old child?

TooBigForMyBoots · 24/09/2024 14:43

I'd tell the truth @Doubtfulso. I don't have the necessary headspace for lying and would out myself sooner or later.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2024 14:41

Any negative comments at work could be treated as anti-Semitism.

I've had comments and eyebrows raised for several countries I've been to or planned to go to. From China to El Salvador gets 'human rights' comments and safety comments. Why on earth should one country with a human rights issue be excluded?

OP I know my Jewish and Israeli friends worry about just being, never mind visiting. However, most of the non-Jewish, non-Israeli people I know are on the 'side' of non-combatants and are loving and supportive to their friends even if they are not supportive of the actions of Israel. Hopefully, you'll be surprised.

Original poster
Doubtfulso · 24/09/2024 14:34

Thanks everyone. I have Israeli insurance which hopefully will be fine, and have booked through El-Al so fingers crossed it won’t be cancelled.

People at work tend to avoid the whole israel Palestine topic altogether, so I can’t imagine anyone saying anything negative to me. I worry more about the silent judgement and people thinking of me negatively. But I also hate lying!

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 24/09/2024 14:30

I would have absolutely no qualms about telling people I was going there for a wedding.

Spondoolies · 24/09/2024 14:29

I think the majority of people here don't feel any type of way about the political/historical events, more just concern and horror about the people being targeted on both sides. I would be extremely concerned for your safety going there and would think you are mad to consider it for a wedding.

LuckysDadsHat · 24/09/2024 14:29

I wouldn't judge you at all, however you may struggle to get insurance for your trip (and I would never travel without it) as the FCO advises against all but essential travel (and no travel in certain regions) and a wedding is not essential to attend. So for that I wouldn't be going.

AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?
erwachen · 24/09/2024 14:29

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It isn't a legitimate state? Or it isn't fighting a terrorist a terrorist organisation? (Or two terrorist organisations right now).

offyoujollywelltrot · 24/09/2024 14:29

Purspectiveplease · 24/09/2024 14:07

Israel is a western, liberal, democratic state and a perfectly legitimate place to go for holidays, weddings or any other reason. I'd tell the truth. I imagine your colleagues might be concerned about your safety because of the constant threat of attacks from Hamas, Hezbollah and their allies though. You can always try to address their concerns if you want to, e.g. "Don't worry, there are bomb shelters in every hotel and building, and Iron Dome has a very high success rate at intercepting rockets, so we will be safter than it sounds." If your colleagues decide to criticise you I'd go to HR. It's not like you've decided to join ISIS or defect to North Korea!

No it isn't.

Stompythedinosaur · 24/09/2024 14:27

I understand why you are going, but tbh I think I just wouldn't share where you're going if you want a quiet life.

I think the pps who assume everyone will "only be worried about your safety" are being unrealistic. Whether or not it's correct, there is a huge amount of concern currently about Israel's actions. It's an emotive topic.

Mumsntfan1 · 24/09/2024 14:27

harrumphh · 24/09/2024 14:22

You do realise the government is advising against travel there and your travel insurance is likely to be invalidated

You can get insurance -

egertcohen.co.il/touristisrael/

midfielder · 24/09/2024 14:26

Purspectiveplease · 24/09/2024 14:07

Israel is a western, liberal, democratic state and a perfectly legitimate place to go for holidays, weddings or any other reason. I'd tell the truth. I imagine your colleagues might be concerned about your safety because of the constant threat of attacks from Hamas, Hezbollah and their allies though. You can always try to address their concerns if you want to, e.g. "Don't worry, there are bomb shelters in every hotel and building, and Iron Dome has a very high success rate at intercepting rockets, so we will be safter than it sounds." If your colleagues decide to criticise you I'd go to HR. It's not like you've decided to join ISIS or defect to North Korea!

Sure thing, keep telling ya self that!

Back to the subject, I wouldn't judge you op you can go wherever you would like it's no one's business but if you feel like you would like to lie, I would just say you're going to Cyprus.

MissMoneyFairy · 24/09/2024 14:24

I'd look at the Foreign Office advice about travel, if you told me at work as your manager my only concern would be your safety and would ask for your contact details if you were happy to share that , I wouldn't discuss it with anyone else.

harrumphh · 24/09/2024 14:22

You do realise the government is advising against travel there and your travel insurance is likely to be invalidated

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