What has Mumsnet taught you you've been doing wrong all of your adult life without realising?!

I've been insufficiently diligent in the LTB department. It seems to be the answer to all of life's ills.

Oh I saw that thread yesterday too!
Mind. Blown.

I should be ‘deep cleaning’ every bit of the house on a weekly basis, instead of when I can be arsed, which is usually to some half-hearted extent before Christmas and before any guest who’s going to give a toss is coming to stay. Which is hardly ever.

When did it stop being called ‘thorough’ cleaning, anyway? ‘Deep’ cleaning used to be a term reserved for the likes of operating theatres.

I’ll regret til the day I die not sending my children to private schools because the state ones near must be soooo bad for my little darlings.
i regret not telling my parents & in laws how to divide their assets in their wills
I realize I should be buying/not buying clothes to accentuate/ hide my body best parts/ impetfections
Pityim still undecided whether to have an extension built or move to that ever so perfect house that needs so much work doing and will cost more than we can afford (without getting rid of our marvelous nanny).. but it would be our forever home!

Being nice to people.
Apparently this is the place to come for negativity and instructions on leaving your husband because he left the toilet seat up.

I think half of mumsnet don’t actually poo, because all they eat is half a lettuce leaf and some high protein yoghurt, so it’s not actually a problem.

the rest of us need a bloody loo brush!

I learnt that as the only breadwinner in the family, you are not allowed any rest when you come home after a foreign or long-distance trip, because sah parent is 'exhausted'. I also learnt that it is more difficult and stressful to be a sah parent than the only breadwinner.

Also learnt there is such a thing as 'legal porn' and it is normal for one's partner to maintain a close friendship with members of the opposite sex.

Also learnt that first you have children and then try to persuade your dp to 'get married'.

Also leant that 'marriage is a piece of paper' yet when things go wrong, there is nothing you can do financially to save yourself if you are not married.

Also learnt is it 'normal' and not 'poncing off a woman' for a healthy grown up man to be a 'sah dad'.

I mean, I am addicted, I learn something new every day!

I'm also not bothered by 'Americanisms'. Oh, and possibly my most serious MN crime: always having been reasonably clear with my children that Santa is a lovely game. Apparently I'm destroying ' the magic'.
(And yes, I say Santa and not Father Christmas. Worse and worse).

I’ve learned from Mumsnet that I’m eating wrong. Apparently enjoying food that isn’t a salad is grotesque and if you haven’t balanced, weighed and put your dinner under a microscope for looking to see how processed it is to a molecular level then it shouldn’t be passing your pursed lips. Treat nights are acceptable, once a decade. These nights you don’t have to worry so much about what you’re eating, as long as you ignore all carbs on offer and top every wafer thin slice of meat with lettuce. Anything else puts you on the fast track to being a fatty fatty fat fat person (not that any of us are judging of course).

Oh and a glass of wine or two makes you an alcoholic, no exceptions. You don’t need alcohol to have fun, no one needs fun anyway once they pass 25 (also see: birthdays).

Having a bathroom bin. I should have made my female visitors roll up their used tampons in loo roll and carry them round in their pockets or go wandering around the side of the house looking for the wheelie bin.

What I do wrong in MN terms:

I don't sneer at people's use of language, not even 'reach out' or 'would of', and I don't think the only 'well-spoken' accent is at standard Southern British English one. Being a descriptivist means I am inferior to the self-declared pedants whose 'teeth are set on edge' by someone saying 'haitch'.

I don't believe a wedding trumps absolutely everything else in life and an invitation is tantamount to a court summons.

I let my older primary-aged children have gradually increasing degrees of appropriate independence, ignoring dire warnings of 'your 10yo is far too young to be alone at home, what if they spontaneously combust during the 20 minutes you're out?' etc. pp.

That we're all expected to grin and bare it.

Must account for the burgeoning of OnlyFans.

I have learnt that if I have a problem that needs solving, HR, the police, social services and my GP are all sitting waiting for my call and ready to spring into action, or at least log it somewhere in a miraculous problem solving place.

That's what I do and I enjoy it.

I found out yesterday from Mumsnet that I should be turning the shower off between applying shampoo and rinsing it and the same with conditioner.

I'll just get really cold

Well so am I so I'll stick to it 😂

@stayathomer You're not waiting in every day for a plumber. Everything else is just life as an adult. Yes, it's stressful, but that's what happens when you're an adult. Some people make it sound like a full-time job.

What’s in loo cleaner though? Is yours non-toxic?

Love a tiny bit of mascara on my lower lashes. I do think many over do it.

Calm down Funtime Frankie

I feel there is more pressure to be 'perfect 'than in my day. It is sad.

What?! Who made this rule about mascara?

That I'm glad I was young when I was young.

The influence of social media on our lives - and specifically women's lives - is very depressing. So much done for 'Insta' photos, so much unhealthy comparing of real lives to fantasy ones online, so much competitive piggy-backing over Hollywood-scale weddings, hen parties, baby showers, gender reveal parties and other crazy money-pit follies. And I'm struck by how many misunderstandings and friendship break-ups seem to be caused by SM.

And that the whole idea of 'making memories' is pernicious. Live in the moment! Actually watch your children's school play - don't film it. Some people seem to live in a permanent state of 'anticipated nostalgia'.

I've learned that you can't EVER wash your hands with dish soap or they'll fall off (or worse). And if you claim that you do wash your hands this way (for lack of separate hand soap) then you're actually lying and you don't wash your hands at all.

I've also learned:

If you drink more than a thimbleful of wine any more than once a year you're an alcoholic.

If you iron then you're a stuck in the 50s and have no life.

Towels have to be washed every three seconds otherwise everyone will get scabies, but if you wash bed linen any more than once a week you're a clean freak.

Rooms need to be vacuumed six times a day, minimum.

If you work full time, having a cleaner is both essential and appallingly lazy.

Saying yes to things I don't want to do (people pleaser).