Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What has Mumsnet taught you you've been doing wrong all of your adult life without realising?!

584 replies

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 11:17

Inspired by a recent thread, in which I read multiple posters saying you shouldn't wear mascara on your bottom lashes (which I have been doing for the last 30 years 😂) what has Mumsnet told or taught you you've been doing wrong?

The irritating thing is then I made one eye up as usual and made one up without mascara on the bottom lashes and DH preferred the without eye! Don't even get me started on my inability to make a chicken last a week...

OP posts:
Tryonemoretime · 24/09/2024 15:57

That I'm guilty of child abuse because of my mantra 'I tell you once. I tell you twice. The third time you will have a smack.' My children hardly ever got to 3 showed no sign of trauma and actually allow me to look after their own children.

poppyzbrite4 · 24/09/2024 15:56

That we make fun of people with dyslexia and those who haven't had the best education when they make spelling or grammar mistakes.

mathanxiety · 24/09/2024 15:55

Things I do wrong:
I have sanpro easily visible and available for anyone who needs it, in the bathroom.
I have a small lidded bin in the bathroom for anything anyone wants to throw away there.
Apparently, female guests have a nerve experiencing a period while in someone else's home, and should put their pads or tampons in their handbags and burn them secretly in their own special sanpro incinerator way at the bottom of their gardens long after civilised folk have gone to bed.

Or they should wrap it in twenty layers of toilet paper and deposit it in the hostess' kitchen bin after first asking permission, to ensure she wouldn't have an attack of the vapours at the cheek.

A bathroom bin is an abomination because what if someone put something in it????

Loo brushes are also an abomination - this is because they clean the loo! But I gather there are some who think they are for hastening the dispatch of 'stubborn deposits' to the Great Poo Bank at the coast. No, that is what a poo stick is for, numpties.

Reheating rice leads to a horrible death.
Cooked food can't be left out on the counter longer than four milliseconds or it will kill you.

It is cruel to keep a cat indoors and to heck with the decimation of bird populations.

People who use dryers are single handedly destroying the planet.

Topping and tailing is a perfectly acceptable way to 'wash yourself' daily.

Names people can't 'place' are 'ghastly/ American'.

SereneFish · 24/09/2024 15:53

Itsallabouttea · 24/09/2024 15:48

That everyone at my evening wedding party was offended, disgusted and starving because there was no meaty food on offer. Luckily back in the real world the enormous burritos and pizzas went down a storm with veggies and meat eaters alike

One thing I've learned on here is that no guests are ever impressed by wedding catering but every bride claims her wedding catering was universally beloved by all her guests.

EsmeSusanOgg · 24/09/2024 15:53

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/09/2024 15:32

I use hangers and hang them on the back of my door with this:

argos-support.co.uk/9296523-argos-home-6-double-ball-over-door-hooks-chrome

You have just solved my chairdrobe dilemma!

OneBadKitty · 24/09/2024 15:52

theemmadilemma · 24/09/2024 11:27

You stick your gloved hand in it and scrub.

This is beyond disgusting because you then have a rubber glove covered in poo to do something with!

Hadjab · 24/09/2024 15:52

CrushingOnRubies · 24/09/2024 13:47

I found out yesterday from Mumsnet that I should be turning the shower off between applying shampoo and rinsing it and the same with conditioner.

I'll just get really cold

I have to defend this one. It makes sense! I have a ceiling mounted shower head, if I don't turn the water off then all the shower gel or shampoo does just go straight down the drain .

EsmeSusanOgg · 24/09/2024 15:51

bringincrazyback · 24/09/2024 15:14

This is genuinely difficult for some people, for all sorts of reasons. No need for the snark just because you don't happen to find it difficult.

In fairness, I am ND and terrible at this stuff. I usually try to automate anything and everything if I can. Direct Debit is a godsend and cuts down on life admin. Remembering to book appointments on time is a nightmare though, not helped by our local GP having very specific - in the middle of the working day - times you have to call for a routine appointment.

EngineEngineNumber9 · 24/09/2024 15:51

TheAlchemy · 24/09/2024 15:38

I’ve never stopped anyone in a toilet to check that they’re a woman before but it seems to be the norm for many on here.

My late MIL’s favourite anecdote was about how she was once (many years ago) asked not to go into the ladies. She was tall and had short hair but very much a lady. She laughed and said “I think I am a woman otherwise I’m not sure how I gave birth to my three kids”.

RampantIvy · 24/09/2024 15:51

I answer the phone and the door
I have made friends at work
I have made friends with my neighbours
I got on well with my late MIL
I sit down on the loo seat (after wiping it if required)
I pik up the phone to make phone calls to strangers
We don't wear shoes in the house
We love having visitors
I love summer

Tryonemoretime · 24/09/2024 15:50

PedantScorner · 24/09/2024 12:33

That taking care over spelling and grammar is pointless, and that it doesn't matter if I use the wrong word.

Maybe I'm in a viscous cycle, been high rate and venerable, and need councilling. Anyway, go to go, need to see if anyone has brought my Chester draws and chez lounge.

Someone else joining pedant's net with me! 😅🤣😂

LadeOde · 24/09/2024 15:50

MN has taught me that's its okay as a woman to wash your underwear in the washing machine. We are not disgusting beings that need to hand wash our filthy underwear separately as i was taught growing up. No one will be infected by mixing their clothes with female underwear.

Do not ask for marital advice on MN, too many people over project from their own traumatic lives into it. If you must ask advice as for very specific things like, how do i move out without an income? how do i cope alone with 3 kids?

If you need advice about higher education and your dc went to private school, best not to mention that fact.

Itsallabouttea · 24/09/2024 15:48

That everyone at my evening wedding party was offended, disgusted and starving because there was no meaty food on offer. Luckily back in the real world the enormous burritos and pizzas went down a storm with veggies and meat eaters alike

Swiftyvonlifty · 24/09/2024 15:47

I use fabric softener.

I had no idea it is not actually used by Anyone Else Ever apparently.

I even read a thread recently where someone said those of us who do use it (just me apparently) are being so selfish and inconsiderate to everyone who hates it.

EsmeSusanOgg · 24/09/2024 15:45

TheAlchemy · 24/09/2024 15:38

I’ve never stopped anyone in a toilet to check that they’re a woman before but it seems to be the norm for many on here.

I was one stopped. I remember being mortified. Way before any trans debate. I was 11, and pre-pubescent still (I was also super short). I had my hair cut like my mum's in a cute pixie style because I thought it looked quite sophisticated. Had a slightly older girl (12/13) try to stop me going for a pee at guides because I didn't have long hair like a girl...

I just looked blankly and said 'I am a girl' and went for my pee.

Mortifying for everyone!

I was wearing a girl guide top and leggings at the time.

FatOaf · 24/09/2024 15:44

I can't make a cup of hot chocolate last three hours, even if snuggled up cosy on a lovely cold day after a whole week of horrible sunshine.

I answer the door when someone knocks/rings without an appointment. Apparently this is disordered behaviour.

I let other people (including builders and other tradespeople) use my toilet.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 24/09/2024 15:44

I've never quite mastered the 'No is a complete sentence' thing.

So if I want to refuse a request, I stupidly still feel the need to briefly explain or justify my position, often with an apology attached. even if it's a lie.

Whereas apparently half the women of Mumsnet just go around barking NO at people whenever they are asked for a favour.

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 15:44

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/09/2024 15:34

So where does your husband put his jeans or other trousers or jumpers that he wants to wear again or does he wash everything after one wear?

He folds them neatly on his chair. I'm more of a slovenly thrower to be fair 😂Maybe that's the real problem! I like your door hooks but that's where I hang my towels and my kimono...

OP posts:
swearsbymoonlight · 24/09/2024 15:43

PeppaSheep · 24/09/2024 14:17

Mumsnet has taught me that you can just find something that you like that someone else has written, and quote it writing simply “this” underneath. You therefore claim the wisdom as your own and don’t have to bother articulating anything yourself.

this ...😂

EsmeSusanOgg · 24/09/2024 15:42

AnonymousBleep · 24/09/2024 15:25

It does make you wonder though - who ARE these people? I'm as middle class as they come but I still don't know anyone with the classic Mumsnet 'children at private school, only eats big salads, never puts on weight, has perfect children, dresses exclusively from Boden, tells everyone they don't like robustly to just fuck off, and has no debts and massive savings' persona in real life. Hmmm, now I write that down, it does make Mumsnet sound a bit like the women's arm of the Conservative party.

I know no one likes this!

TheAlchemy · 24/09/2024 15:38

I’ve never stopped anyone in a toilet to check that they’re a woman before but it seems to be the norm for many on here.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 24/09/2024 15:38

I’m apparently a disgusting, lazy parent because I only give my son a bath three times a week. I’m also a bad feminist who’s leeching off society because I didn’t go back to work half an hour after he was born.

mathanxiety · 24/09/2024 15:36

CrumpledBankNote · 24/09/2024 11:26

That you're not supposed to have a toilet brush as only heathens have toilet brushes. Also, only worse heathens put bleach down the loo.

Don't get me wrong - I don't LIKE them, no matter how many different swanky looking concealed toilet brushes I buy.

But if I can't use a brush or bleach how the hell do I clean my loo?????

You have to get a cleaner!

Mansionscoldandgrey · 24/09/2024 15:34

I am surprised at the sheer number of people on here who had the audacity to get married, bearing in mind that a wedding invitation is not a summons.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/09/2024 15:34

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 15:27

Well I agree with multiple wears pre wash BUT what do I do with the worn-so-not-clean-but-not-actually-dirty clothes in between? For some reason putting them back in the wardrobe feels wrong and DH is very tidy and loathes my chairdrobe... ( I know, I know, LTB etc)

So where does your husband put his jeans or other trousers or jumpers that he wants to wear again or does he wash everything after one wear?