To be concerned over DD's weight gain?

In what way?

It is difficult and as a parent, you cannot win. If you say something she'll blame you for making her feel worse, if you don't you may get blamed for not helping.

To be size 22 and such rapid weight gain means she already has an eating disorder, but only she can address it.

Perhaps when she is ready she can try some of the injections, as it is hard for her to address without help.

Not unreasonable. She hasn’t just gained a few pounds, she must have gained a good 3-4 stone to go up 4 dress sizes and it’s such a short space of time. I would say it’s natural to gain some weight if she’s drinking a lot and living off junk food but that’s an astronomical amount.

You will need to be delicate in your approach but I do think you should mention it. She may well be depressed and comfort eating.

I'd be concerned if it keeps on increasing at that rapid rate, definitely. Several stone in a year is a lot. But she must know what she's doing. Her eating and drinking must have increased a lot. Maybe she used to exercise but that's now gone out the window? I guess you could see if she wants to do a healthy hobby with you like swimming, hiking, or gym?

Tbh she knows she is obese. She can’t not. You can absolutely be concerned about it and I would be too. However, what good will it do to raise it with her? As I said, she knows. She will have bought the size 22 clothes herself. If you tell her she’s gained weight it just means that she will lack the sense of safety she feels at home.
I wonder if all the people who say you should say something to her think that she doesn’t know how big she is.

It's a tricky one as yes, she's an adult and can do whatever she pleases.
But that is a lot of weight to gain in a year or so.

It might be worth having a chat about her wellbeing generally. Often weight gain can be as a result of stress, or depression or anxiety.

Or perhaps she's just partying too hard.

Can she cook, and do you model healthy cooking and healthy eating at home?

Does she know how to make cheap, nutritious meals that are both quick and tasty?

Does she have access to affordable exercise options - be that joining a uni sports team, or a gym, or whatever. If she's struggling financially, could you subsidise a membership for the uni gym or similar?

Do you model healthy habits, such as regular exercise (in whatever form), yoga, meditation, gardening etc.?

It's one thing to notice her weight and be concerned, but if she doesn't have tools in her arsenal to help her live healthily, if she doesn't see the rest of her family living healthily - and if she isn't fully aware about the wider effect of a poor diet and lack of exercise then I can understand why she's spiralled weight wise.

I'd strongly recommend you frame your conversation not around body size but around health and fitness. Even better if you and the rest of the family go on a 'health kick' and encourage her to join in. Saying you're concerned about her weight runs the risk of sounding really superficial, but if you talk about exercise, wellbeing and healthy eating then it's much more helpful in opening up a proper conversation about what's going on.

And no, not everyone gains weight at uni. I've always struggled with my weight but I lost a lot of weight at uni because I got really into a couple of sports and I was cycling/walking everywhere rather than taking the bus plus I was absolutely flat broke so lived off lentils and the runty-looking veg from the market.

It's a very difficult one to navigate.
My DD put on 2 and a half stone in total over her years at Uni so I completely understand your concerns. She had the typical drinking/going out lifestyle at Uni wich definitely didn't help but now she's beginning to lose the weight she's talked about how difficult it is to remain an active healthy lifestyle whilst at Uni due to exams, assignments and all of that! We spoke about it and shared that all of her friends too gained weight during Uni so your DD is not alone.
Maybe speak to your DH again about it and explain why you are concerned about DD and create an open conversation with her when she's next home?
It's a tricky one OP but I'm sure you'll support her however you can 💐

Yes. It’s the cheap upf-laden food and alcohol that does it.

At the DD's height it is (I don't mean it judgementally, as I said that's my size), she was already obese before the weight gain.

A fresher's 15 from one healthy weight to another healthy weight is a very normal thing. Gaining 4 dress sizes and going from obese to morbidly obese (I'm guessing) is very different and I do think that's a point where OP will need to at least try and help.

I went from a size 10 to 14/16 at uni. It all dropped off the year I graduated. Although now after two kids I’m back to 16/18. I’m really glad my parents never said anything. I knew my lifestyle was unhealthy, them saying anything absolutely wouldn’t have helped or changed things as I was happy with my lifestyle at the time, it would have just caused resentment. My mum probably still worries about me now as I am obese but has the sense not to say anything, if I could lose the weight I would!

Very different to a girl who started obese and then gained weight rapidly.

She was obese before she went to uni and is now morbidly obese

When you went with her to the medical appointment where she was weighed didn't the doctor say anything to her ?

Tbh at 5ft 2 and 12.5 stone i doubt she was actually a 14 before going away. Im several inches taller than that and about that weight and 14s are extremely tight on me.
Is it possible OP that really she was already more like a 16, but wearing stuff like joggers with a stretchy waistband?

It's common for people to put on the 'freshers 15' - which is about a dress size or two.

Size 14 was not that healthy to start with IMO - it's the upper end of what someone that age should be tbh. I'd be very concerned in OP's situation as size 20/22 at age 19 is very shocking and I don't think we should normalise that.

I think it's worth thinking how you would think about the situation if someone you loved had LOST so much weight they were clearly unwell.

Would you sit back and say nothing?

You are her parent not a randomer off of the street. You are allowed to be concerned for your child even though she is an adult. I absolutely would raise it with her in a tactful way. It isn't bodyshaming to say she has put a fair bit of weight on and ask if you could get her a gym membership or a walking pad (doesn't take up too much space), make some healthy batch cooked meals that she can bung in her portion of the freezer. Your concern comes from a place of love. The fact that you are even asking on here how to approach it demonstrates that. We shouldn't be so afraid to be seen as bodyshaming that we can't tell the truth in a tactful way.

It is such a tricky one. I'm her height and have just hit just under 12.5 stone and honestly I'm feeling it. To have gone up so much so quickly is a big deal and I think beyond the point where you can let it go. Even her starting weight will have been damaging to her health. She's so young, and if she doesn't get a handle on it now she likely never will and will suffer for it.

I'd approach it from the health angle, and stress as you have done here that it's her body to do with as she wishes but that you're worried about her health and is there anything she'd like to discuss with you.

I know we can (rightfully) be worried about discussing weight with young women for fear of triggering an eating disorder, but frankly with that weight gain at that height in that timeframe she may already have one.