Is this too many people for Christmas?

Would you consider something else than traditional Christmas dinner? Chinese/Indian? Or giving kids a packed lunch (sandwiches etc) that can be pre-prepared and they could eat on their own?

Can you change it to a Boxing Day meal? Far less pressure to make it all bells and whistles, Christmas Day is a busy morning anyway, prepping and cooking for that many would have you frazzled and snappy by 10.30 - well it would me. You could do baked potatoes, cold meats,pickles, salads ( guests bring salads or a dessert, make sure you tell them exactly what they need to bring) so less cooking pressure on you.

We have around 22-24 for American Thanksgiving every year - we fit the 10 kids around the dining table using some folding benches with our regular table and then we have a pasting table in the lounge for the 12 ish adults with a combination of our dining chairs and random other seats from around the house. We've been hosting for over 10 years though so everyone knows it isn't fancy!

We have a double oven and an instant pot so make tons of stuff and lay it out in the kitchen for people to help themselves in shifts (kids first and then a few people at a time) as our kitchen is tiny. Our friends bring some sides and all the desserts and drinks so we aren't dealing with that and everyone is close friends so they help themselves to glasses and cutlery and whatever else they need. If I was actually hosting I would want to set everything up somewhere but it's fine though chaotic!

Afterwards loads help clean up so it's not as exhausting as it could be but it's definitely a couple days cleaning on either end and all the setup etc.

I'd do it for Xmas too but only if it was super casual and everyone could sit down at the same time - even if in random places in the house. We also tend to kick the kids outside at some point as they get super riled up. We've learned to only invite people for an hour or so before the food and then everyone is gone by 8 or so as it's a school night.

I'm not the poster you are replying to but I agree with them and it's nothing to do with people not liking the same things at all.

some of the people on here are being awful, calling OP "ridiculous" and telling her it's "stupid" to do this, "utterly ridiculous", "horrendous", questioning "why did you offer in the first place" .. "change your plans" etc

Why bother saying anything at all? OP hasn't asked if she should host, she IS hosting and wants tips and advice on how to do it. It's not exactly constructive to repeating tell her to change her plans or call her stupid is it?

It absolutely wouldn't be for me! Maybe a buffet at a push but most definitely not a sit down tradition dinner.
For a start, you don't even have enough seating for everyone.

We like to get a large holiday home if we do a big thing like that. We went away last Christmas and ate out on the day. The place was pricey but amazing.

Split between a few adults, the cost of these homes might not be prohibitive.

It's absolutely doable and just depends on your house really if it's big enough and has separate spaces for people we've done Christmas like this a few times and it's just a bit much everyone shouting over each other to be heard. Kids not being supervised properly. Any games activities planned don't really work as just to many people and to much noise. One tip I would give is don't become the waitress people can help themselves to drink can help with the food don't try and do everything.

2 sittings with children eating first. We host 30 We can seat everyone but it is a squish. We prefer standing starters/canapes with champagne than the main meal. Then a walk and a refresh. Then we have deserts etc later

Have a lovely set up of nice. Bibles for the adults while the children eat.

Assign jobs-
BIL- drinks- always refreshing and recycling bottles etc. He makes a mean martini too but he does drinks in terms of keeping people topped up and getting people drinks. Wines, cocktails.
Dishwasher- 2 people
loading and unloading
brown paper on the table with crayons etc for the kids to draw on
set table before arrivals
consider hiring glasses and using disposable bamboo plates etc for kids

MEAL-
assign and plan this meticulously

3 people- starters/canapés
2 people- vegetable sides
you- turkey and gravy?
1- roast potatoes
2- deserts
1- pigs in blankets/stuffings
1- condiments and pulling crackers.
2- cheese board

Napkins!

people without a job- bring booze and a table top game/party game ready to play. Party playlist

Enjoy!

We cook a huge roast for about this many adults and kids at one big annual gathering. It's fine if you

• work well with your partner/co chefs
• know your dishes and timings well, eg partner and I do a lot of roasts for crowds and have had plenty of practice since uni days so although there are many elements to it we are confident with everything that needs to be done and when
• have the space to eat, we have maybe ten at the table and more in the adjoining conservatory, kids are served first and grownups eat loosely in shifts but there's usually a point where we're all sitting down enjoying the meal
• know your kitchen!
• have well-trained guests who know how to be helpful, whether that's by keeping out of your way or chipping in

I do think you're brave doing it with a newborn but if you can delegate as much as possible and are confident in cooking for a crowd or can do a few trial runs in the interim, you'll be fine. Be firm about someone else keeping an eye on your other kids. Prep as much as you can beforehand. And err on the side of conservatism: it's not worth stressing yourself out by being too ambitious with your menu. Remember it's your Christmas too and you should get to enjoy it not be in a tizz.

Good idea that you can fit all adults around the table at the same time.

I would arrange to feed the kids first and then they can play or watch a film in the other room with sweets/chocolate.
Adults can then sit down and eat together and all help with clearing up.

Sounds like a great Christmas Day!

My grandparents did this for 16 people every Christmas for years and they have a small house with a tiny kitchen. They had an extendable table and people brought over extra chairs on the day. It was fine.

So it is doable, but it depends whether you want that many people over.

Absolutely ridiculous. Would t even attempt it.

Sounds like you've got it all under control, and I love that for you!

I find myself often dismayed by the responses to posts like these. There is always the assumption that because some people might find this challenging/depressing/mad/whatever, other people wouldn't possibly be able to manage either 🙄

This is a standard Christmas in my family - it's actually not hard at all with some organisation, folding chairs and tables and willing helpers!

Far, far too many people. When we have this number of people we do it wedding style - X many people are invited for the main meal and everyone else comes for an evening buffet.

Have a buffet with the kids sat at the table

I'd love to do something like this if my home and budget were big enough.

Huge buffet include desserts on the buffet so you're not working all day. Ask family members who are local to bring their dishes over the day before or early in the morning and come back later....I'd include a big massive load of roast potatoes and a turkey or something in the buffet to make it christmassy. Have a big basket of crackers to pull.

Ask family members to bring some chairs over as well.

Do kids presents before family arrive and put them all in one of the bedrooms so they don't get broken. Have that as the coat room as well and keep it out of bounds. If swapping gifts with family i'd do it before eating and ask them to put them all in their cars before food time. Then you have space to play games, dance, watch films after food.

Also ask family members who are available and local to come over boxing day for an hour to help with washing up, tidying up etc so it doesn't feel so daunting.

Completely doable: ignore the naysayers on the thread.
All meats are cooked and sliced in advance and heated through on the day.
Then you'll need either slow cookers or Bain Marie (hired) to keep vegetables warm as they are cooked ( though only greens and roast potatoes need to be served freshly cooked, everything else can be warmed or reheated so make sure that the dishes people bring will be easy to do that).
Meat is plated but everything else goes onto the middle of the table for handing round.
Borrow camping table and spare dining chairs from your neighbours, or ask guests to bring their own!
DC get a limited dinner of pigs in blankets or chipolatas, slice of turkey, a roast potato, scoop of mash, carrot and a.n.other veg with some gravy. Then trifle.
Then off they go to the playroom while you prep for the big dinner.

Arrange in advance exactly who is bringing what including crockery, cutlery, chairs, what prep each dish will need etc.
you might find it easier to serve veg into split dishes per 3 or 4 people, containing enough of each thing for them, so that no big dishes need passing around.
Hiring catering stuff like Bains Marie, crockery, even chairs, is surprisingly inexpensive and saves a lot of stress.
The most important thing is to make sure that it's seen as a joint endeavour though, so you don't take it all on yourself.
Good luck!

Accept it will be chaos, but wonderful chaos!

Have a plan with your partner with who is responsible for what, e.g. who makes the drinks when people arrive and do all the greeting, who will be preparing food. Designate someone to lay/set the table (or do it the night before). Advise relatives, you'll either need them to be proactive in the kitchen or they're not allowed anywhere near the kitchen, whichever you prefer!

Big family Christmases are absolutely wonderful if you all get along, I have the most fantastic childhood memories of large family Christmases. Just except it will be chaotic and you'll probably forget something like gravy, or crackers or the stuffing :)

Good luck, enjoy!

This is how my MiL likes Christmas Day. It is my idea of hell, but she loves the bustle (and the excuse to shout at people). Food is always cold by the time everyone is served, always at least one child crying, adults tend to cry in the bathroom at least.

I think it sounds nice but definitely do buffet/grazing rather than seated meal.

@thebradybunch : we have a big family too, usually 12, sometimes 20 adults

Former is ok, latter is too much

I get wanting to all be together- as an idea, if you have 1 family who live really nearby, could some of the family pop back there to eat and then return after the meal so you can be more comfortable? (We have done this and it’s fine, it’s actually more peaceful. Whoever is cooking does 2 of everything and then we can have normal sizes of serving dishes etc)

Otherwise definitely do more of a Xmas party and don’t even try to all get round the table

I love a big chaotic family Christmas

If you want a classic Christmas dinner you may have to think outside the box as to where you are going to eat - choose the biggest room and put the tables in there. Do you have an outside table you could use? Or you could get one or two foldable camping tables. Once you have tablecloths/crackers/festive flowers/candles (perhaps LED for safety with so many people!) it will look lovely. Ask other people to bring folding chairs.

Keep drinks chilled outdoors so they don't take up fridge space. And if people bring desserts they will need to be ones that won't need fridge space and are preferably in a secure container so they can also be stored outside. Nothing more stressful than people turning up demanding to put a Pavlova in your already full fridge!

It's a lot of work for 2 people getting everything ready plus looking after kids including a newborn so it may be an idea to ask the most helpful person/couple to arrive earlier than the others - either someone who will look after the baby, or who is happy to crack on helping with food and house prep while you feed the baby.

Have fun!!

Can you borrow a long folding table, church, schools often have them, people either bring folding chairs or you borrow those too, then split the party between the two rooms, having maybe fed the babies first and they are napping.
Tell people what they're to bring otherwise you'll wind up with loads of the same thing. This also includes drink.
Give an ending time for the get together, as important as the start time otherwise they'll sit there forever.

I think if I was planning that many I would do as much prep the days before as possible for a start, but I would do hot meal but self serve with parents helping younger kids.

I would get those with extra chairs to bring those. I would use fork size food so only one piece of cutlery. Desert would be eatable by hand. I would go for disposable plates.

So I would list out all the foods needed for a meal every one happy with so I would do turkey and beef roast (poss a veg option of some sort) then get others to bring assorted veg, gravy, sauces, pigs in Blankets etc and serve some cold and others reheated. Desserts would go fancy ice cream lollies for kids, cake/cheese cake or similar and fruit salad, cream on side. Plenty of options to share out fetch a plate. Choccies and cheese/crackers/grapes/apple also options

We did a BBQ a while back and as a little extra I got my daughter to do chocolate brownies and they went down a storm and they were just a little afterthought to pad things out

I come from a large family, eldest of 6 and lots have partners and kids and we are spread from 19 yr old kids to 1 yr old ones so used to idea of large catering options. We used to put wood meant for shelves across two chairs to seat extra kids at meal times. I would seat kids under 10 and rest freestyle. Rope in server helpers as well.

Have you thought about hiring small hall. My friends family did this once to have a big family Christmas.