To be so distraught over child coldsore

I know you’ve tried some therapy for your health anxiety, but have you tried medication and therapy together? I found SSRIs (double ‘normal
dose’ to work for OCD) and therapy together really helpful, but struggled with therapy alone. Can take a while to find the right meds and for them to start working but worth it IMO.

OP, "Studies suggest that 62% of Americans are infected with HSV-1 by adolescence, and up to 85% by their 60s." And they think that's probably still underestimating the figures. Exposure was inevitable at some point, and not from you! Once they start mingling at nursery, school, nightclubs most folk come across it. I have OCD and can totally relate to how you feel and if you can get treatment for it - you can overcome it! You sound lovely OP - give yourself a big hug as well as your wee one 😊

I do feel for you, OP. My husband has cold sores and finds it stressful. It doesn’t stop him kissing his family, though. He just doesn’t do it if he feels one coming on or has an active cold sore. We’re careful not to share towels etc. We’ve been together many years and I have never had a cold sore. He thinks he caught them from his mum but she wasn’t very careful.
It’s great that you’re trying to protect your children but I really hope you manage to feel well enough to kiss them one day soon.

I need the name of the zapper

I too have somehow passed on the virus to my 7 year old and feel awful about it (my mum must have passed it on to me as I've had them since a young age) . I have never kissed him during an outbreak and thought I was sooo careful but I can't beat myself up about it as it's just one of those things I couldn't have helped!! I felt awful when I saw it on his lower lip but ultimately there is no point in driving yourself into the ground of something that's inevitable. We need to love ourselves more and accept life's journey. Hugs x

There’s also evidence to suggest that if you have oral herpes, you can also get genital herpes but are much less likely to get sores and symptoms

Go to GP for help for yr anxiety.

This is what I'm trying to say. Yes each strain can affect either area, but it's extremely unlikely that if someone is infected with one strain that it will affect both areas.

Have you tried anti viral therapy? This sounds awful for you.
Supplementing lysine can help too anecdotally

This is not strictly true as both strain can affect either part of the body. Genital sores are generally caused by sexual contact so it is very unlikely your baby will get them.
it’s unusual to spread one type
to another part of your body so you may be dealing with two different forms of the virus as suggested here

Yes, the same virus in one person can cause the blisters in both areas.

www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2/genital-herpes

Tbh I understand.
My grandma passed it to me as a baby. I suffer horrendously.

Yes not kissing my babies is worth the prevention of them going through what I have and still do.

I remember having cold sores covering my nose and mouth and philtrum and being bullied. Even now every time I catch a cold. A nasty embarassing cold sore happens at the end of the virus. Anytime I'm stressed, any big event in my life has been ruined by cold sores appearing.

I have one right now.

All my 4 births, have been ruined because the first 4 weeks of my babies lives I've had cold sores all over my lips and nose.

I moved to a new area, and started my new school run with a nose 10x larger because of cold sores inside and outside of the nose.

Cold sores have ruined everything.

So I don't think you're being crazy, but I have kissed my babies on the head.

I wish my grandma didn't show me "love" throwing herpes all over me.

But not the same virus in both places on the same person.

Op my dad got the cold sore virus at 7 month old, inside her mouth and on her gums. It was painful for her but as an adult now she gets the very occasional cold sore and it has not impacted her in any way shape or form
I hope you’re ok

Thank goodness he's got it now and you can finally get on with kissing your baby.

And yes, it would be better if he didn't have it, but that dwarfs in comparison to the harm that having a mum who won't kiss him will do.

Please get help for your health anxiety.

This isn’t true. HSV1 and HSV2 favour locations but they both can show up on mouth and genitals.

Children of anxious parents are 2-7x more likely to develop anxiety and depression than children without an anxious parent, cor a parent whose anxiety is well controlled.

You are the figurehead in your children’s social and emotional learning, and you do not have healthy emotions or behaviours to pass to them, you have dysfunctional ones.

Don’t think I can’t relate. I suffered crippling health anxiety for 25yrs and went through extensive CBT for years to overcome it. A week long rehab and CBT hopping is not it.

Aside from sticking with CBT, there are other therapies you can try – psychotherapy, talking therapy, hypnotherapy, EMDR.

The virus affecting your lips and genitals are different, which is why they are breaking out at different times.

Even if your child has it and it is effecting his lips it will not now affect his genitals unless he contracts the other form of the virus when he is older.

Lots of research available about the impact the parents behaviours have on children and their future development. Lack of affection ( including no kissing) can cause withdrawal type behaviours i.e. not worth responding to stimulus because I won’t get the appropriate response . Mental health issues and behaviours in parents result in the incidence of the children suffering the same grow exponentially and if you suffer health anxiety your DC are more likely to - it’s learnt behaviours.

Kindly OP you do need to seek support from your GP for more therapy / a different type to ensure that your perceived good intentions through health anxiety and OCD don’t actually result in the development of the same traits in your DC.

Please kiss your children (when you don't have cold sores)!
I have cold sores, probably inherited from my mother. I couldn't care less.

PP are saying that not kissing your baby is harmful, and I agree.
I kissed mine all the time when they were babies, including the first one, and I'd had a herpes simplex keratitis after she was born.

I get coldsores, I presumably got it from my mum as she gets them too, honestly can say I've never given it a second thought.

I've never had genital herpes, so it's not a given that if somebody gets coldsores on their lips they get them down below too.

I've noticed that the older I get (I'm now 29) the less I get coldsores. I'm now pregnant and will never, ever kiss my baby when I have an outbreak, but absolutely will be kissing him outside of that. Kiss your baby, its just one of those things! X

Please seek help. This is seriously affecting your ability to parent.

I have genuinely never been annoyed with my parents about it. Ideally I wouldn't have them, and I am careful to wash hands particularly well/not share towels or cutlery etc when I have one to try and prevent my children getting them. But if they do, it will be far from the worst thing that happens in their lives.

Your baby has never felt his mother's kiss? Not once in his life?

Poor kid.

You need to contact your GP for urgent support, as the harm that could be caused to him emotionally vastly outweighs something he'd just as likely pick up at nursery or school at some point in any case.