To think people shouldn't have sex with people unless you would both be happy and able to raise children together?

YABU, I don't want a relationship but I don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life.

What we should be encouraging is safe, consensual sex whether it's in a relationship or not.

Well if course shagging would come before children. Basic biology

This

A lone parent is just that - someone who parents alone, may be because the other parent refuses, or perhaps died. A single parent is someone who is not in a relationship with another adult, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re parenting completely alone.

@Abbylikeswine abuse is abuse. Do you really think emotional abuse is alright, because sometimes women do it too? Your later posts are quite judgemental.

That would not work as you can't just name a man. Feckless men would then have a choice about whether to be on the birth certificate.

I don't think your terminology on lone mothers/single mothers is correct.

My cousin is a mother. Her child doenst see his father at all. My cousin calls herself a single mother.

Right to clarify, I'm talking about children who don't see their dad at all, or see them very little

I do think people take such little responsibility around sex.

Sex is not just for enjoyment. It makes children.

I used to know a woman. She would go back and have sex every weekend with different men. She was also very lax about contraception. The men were also very lax about contraception. They didn't care.

She became a single mum to two kids from different dads. The kids grew up in very bad circumstances.

You have to look at what could happen

No, but we should be pleased that they have access to clean, safe and legal abortions, and that they have the choice to decide what is right for them. I would 100% back my daughter without asking questions or shaming her if this happened to her and she made a choice for herself.

You’re confusing lone mothers with single mothers. I am a single mother but the children have an active relationship with their father. Possibly a more positive one as (is usually typical) I meet the majority of their care needs and he gets to do the bits that seem fun. You can be a single parent but it doesn’t mean the children don’t have two parents in their lives. Or even grandparents - I didn’t have a father growing up but I have very involved grandparents which (for me) more than made up for it.

WTF?
Unmarried couples, the man needs to attend the registration office to put his name on the birth certificate. So if he refused, he gets to walk away from any financial responsibility for the child he helped make?
In fairness to this poster though, men in the UK are allowed to walk away from their children without a backward glance or a penny paid to their children.

What defines "abusive" though.

Emotionally abusive?

I've often seen women call their ex partners emotionally abusive,

but then I see the woman herself shouting and screaming at the child. So she is also emotionally abusive.

If the father is abusive, the child won't do better in life. If the relationship is miserable and the parents stay together, the child won't do better in life. It's possible to have a happy home with only one parent

I think a lot of people on this thread are underestimating the impact of abortion on a woman’s mental health.

Well that's why the OP's opening post isn't ludicrous, ultimately sex can lead to a baby, so you need to be comfortable enough with the potential outcomes and choices before doing it. If abortion is so heinous to a person, they will need an appropriate risk based approach to sex which should be more risk averse than someone comfortable with the choices.

1. Both parents should always accept responsibility for children they have created together.
2. Recreational sex is fine for those who are happy with that.
3. Only having sex with those with whom we have some sort of meaningful relationship is fine for those who are happy with that.
4. Proper contraception should be in place for those not wanting children.
5. Abortion should not be used as a form of contraception.

I do think that people should take more responsibility when having sex.

No contraception 100% works.

How are children brought up by single mothers a better idea though?

All studies show that children do better in life, when they have a father around

Or perhaps more homosexuality as is free of the consequences of potential children. I wonder if there’d be an increase in bisexuality within society if an opposite sex partner was not possible. I’m sure I saw a documentary on a woman’s prison and some inmates were in sexual relationships despite saying on the outside they were straight.

Oh and as a mother of disabled children, yes life can be very hard. But my once absolutely fine relationship was unsustainable after we had the children. In our case we’ve worked out a fairly ok system of shared care, but if you said I’d have to be a lone parent or stay in that very long term relationship, I’d choose be going it alone every time.

This any good?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-ZT8y7OkzW/?igsh=MW04c2kxbXFpMTNwcA==
Might have persuaded me to remain childfree tbh.

No, of course not. It's perfectly valid to want to have sex with someone you have no desire at all to have a child with.

But plenty of people are lax with contraception, the fact STI rates are increasing makes that clear. The growth of the "natural cycles" thing and younger people thinking the pull out "method" is a thing are both concerning. I know lots of people who have a fairly "what will be will be" attitude.

Use hormonal contraception properly plus a condom and the likelihood of getting pregnant is absolutely miniscule. Then you can shaggy as many dodgy blokes as you want. 😊

First you completely forgot that same sex relationships exist, then you suggest that it’s just a choice to switch.

Sex is fun, it’s also an equal responsibility of both (or more if that’s your thing) engaging in it to be protected. It’s less about abstinence (which never, ever works as a society) and more about stopping putting a culture of responsibility and blame on women. It’s not just a woman’s responsibility to protect from pregnancy occurring, it’s not just our ‘fault’ if it happens. Teach your sons that they should never accept ‘woman on pill’ as an absolute, unless he is actively wanting a baby or as sure as humanly possible both are clear of STIs, it should always be wrapped up. Or suggest making vasectomies mandatory, get them reversed when they want kids (there would soon be a huge outcry…)

The CSA just needs sorted out.

The errant fathers need to feel the pain of having no life and no money the way the women they impregnated do.

They get away with far too much.

I would rather they had the option of having an abortion than being stuck with a terrible father or not experiencing sexual pleasure with another human EVER.

Well done OP. All that money spent on developing safe contraception etc and all that was needed was a quick word with the children. Just say no. If only we'd known that centuries ago, just think how simple life could have been.