To think people shouldn't have sex with people unless you would both be happy and able to raise children together?

With a huge amount of medical intervention

If you're pregnant at 17, it's probably going to have a major impact whatever you choose.

I wouldn't say becoming a mother at 17 is exactly an easy path.

There are no guarantees.
Just better chances.

This is a curious take considering

1. The world is full of people who are in perfectly happy, long-lasting relationships with happy, well-adjusted kids, who have never contemplated marriage
2. This site is also full of women complaining about how marriage has failed and left them up shit creek regardless.
3. 50% of marriages end in divorce in any case, which suggests that married relationships aren't any more viable long-term than unmarried ones.

@CrochetForLife

Not sentient or nerve receptors till the third trimester? How are babies surviving before 24 weeks?

I never said it is a “cure all”.

No it's not a cure all, and admittedly it's no guarantee. But it does provide a lot of rights and protections and security. Which is why it exists, after all, in the first place. This site is proof positive that women - and the children -, are basically fucked without it.

This.

And people I know are not remotely traumatised by termination. Stop scaremongering.

@AgileGreenSeal "I absolutely believe the Christian teaching on sex is correct- it is to be enjoyed only in marriage, not least because so much drama and heartache could be avoided"

Not sure marriage is the cure all you think it is.

I agree. It's more to do with who you hang out with, what's the norm in your friendship group, peer pressure, how strict your upbringing is etc.

And I know people who have had babies they didn't want and are traumatised.

Excellent point.
She can’t just name him, he has to agree to have his name put on.

Well yes. Life is full of risks, OP. And ways to mitigate those risks. In this case, contraception. And abortion if necessary. No, the latter is not 'a joyful experience we would want our children to have'. Neither are lots of other things. If they take sensible precautions, they probably won't have to.

If you have sex, you might get pregnant. If you drive, you might crash your car. Does that mean nobody should drive?

Yeah I think they could definitely improve care around abortions.

Like a lot of things to do with womens health, there are very few studies or health developments in the area.

I absolutely believe the Christian teaching on sex is correct- it is to be enjoyed only in marriage, not least because so much drama and heartache could be avoided.

@Abbylikeswine "I have a friend that still crys and feels very guilty about an abortion that she had ten years ago."

That's very sad- it sounds as if she has unresolved issues and could maybe benefit from some therapy? I hope she gets the help she needs. However, you also know many other women for whom it was an unpleasant but necessary event that they moved on from without trauma and at most a passing sadness.

Abortion is safer than birth. I don't think anyone pretends it's not a serious and potentially traumatising thing.

Having a child you don't want is also traumatic and painful.

I think your point is that counselling and pain relief should be available, not that abortion shouldn't be available.

Yeah I'm sure loads of women think abortion is great fun 🙄

I agree about fathers abandoning their children.

But that’s it. Sex isn’t just about reproducing, it’s also about fun and enjoyment.

It’s also a reason why free and easy access to contraception and abortions is important.

Termination is not easy or risk free though.

I was just reading Britney spears autobiography. She spoke about having an abortion.

She said that she took the pill at home and then that she was in terrible pain. She said that she was in such terrible pain that she coulsnt get off tbe floor, and she was on the floor holding onto the toilet for a very long time

People that I know who've had an abortion, are still traumatised by it.

Not really. I’ve never wanted children and any accidental pregnancy would be terminated, so not really a risk at all.

I agree abortion is absolutely necessary.

I was more thinking of the sadness and trauma that some of the women have to go through that have an abortion.

It's just annoying that women have to suffer through everything and men never have to do any of this stuff.

I have a friend that still crys and feels very guilty about an abortion that she had ten years ago.

Oh stop with the emotionally manipulative 'innocent' life bs to guilt women and girls. It's not a 'life'. It doesn't have sentience or nerve receptors until the third trimester. So please keep anti-choice and emotionally manipulative gaslighting comments out of here.

Which seems to fail on a regular basis and abortion is something that they can't do for a multitude of reasons.