DD doesn't want to get rid of any of her stuff!

Haha great idea

Yup one in one out

Same. Have done personalised memory books every year and included treasured toys or objects that we haven't been able to keep. We have kept a lot though because my children have loved playing with 70 year old toys that their grandparents played with as kids.

I have just moved house with my nearly 15 year old daughter and I had to lug 6 bloody bin bags full of teddies that she just couldn't part with (they were in the attic so not that attached to them lol) anyway 2 weeks into our new place and I told her that her teddies are taking up precious storage space (we downsized) and this is our new start and can we please get rid of some, we went through them all and ended up with one bin bag full lol. She did suggest that I keep them all in my room because they don't fit the aesthetic of hers lol that was a big no from me

My 6 yo DS is the same. Very sentimental but not an anxious child at all. He hates getting rid of anything. Still occasionally gets upset about things his dad dad took to the charity shop over a year ago, like a chair he'd grown out of. He cries randomly saying he misses things. Definitely won't part with any toys. I have to hide things and give them away when he's forgotten about them

Unfortunately my parents are hoarders and I have hoarding tendencies, although making continuous efforts to declutter and not hoard, so think it could be genetic

I would get her to do some research on different charities in the area and what they do and then get her to choose which one she'd like to support with some stuff and then get her to fill a box and bring it in. It might help her have a sense of control over it and hopefully give her a boost that she's been really empathic and helped people as a result.

I agree with those suggesting getting her involved with donating items/ passing them on to others. I massively struggle with decluttering, always have done, and it helps me to donate or sell on Vinted. I hate waste and stuff getting needlessly damaged/ destroyed so that’s where it comes for me I think.

Tell her you’re selling it and she’ll get money for it. Up to you whether you actually sell it but make sure she gets some money either way.

Yes the photos definitely help here too. But can sometimes trigger a meltdown on a bad day... It's a balancing act.

What's difficult about it? Clearly you do not have a neurodivergent or anxious child!

We got rid of a DC's ride on toy that they barely used when age appropriate and hadn't touched in a couple of years. Unfortunately they realised and saw us giving it away. They were traumatised.

That was almost 2 years ago. We had regular meltdowns about it for more than 6 months. We still get upset moments over it now.

I'd rather have clutter than 6 months of meltdowns.

DH sounds a bit of a bully.

My DD was like this and also had anxiety. Taking photos helped as did giving her time to get used to the idea of things going and she also found it easier if it was going to someone we knew or a charity shop. She's 24 now and still remembers how hard it was letting things go (still struggles now!).
Whilst we know it's linked to her anxiety I do wonder if watching Toy Story didn't help, with the whole 'abandoned toys looking for their original owners and feeling unloved'!!

. @harrumphh suggested photos in her post and I agree.

A dedicated photo album was our solution. toys, art work, models built at school, everything we didn’t have space to keep forever went into the personalised memory book we did together.

If it hadn’t been for that I think we’d have drowned in stuff!

I think I'd gently help her choose what needs to go and start on easier things and practice with easy choices. Don't just throw stuff out without her knowing as she isn't learning that skill. My dd doesn't like trying on older clothes so I make little pikes for her to try on and leave them on her bed. If she doesn't try them on and take out what still fits the pile goes. Do there's choice, but the choice isn't "let's keep it all". My dd doesn't want to grow up at 10.

My DD is like this. I just don't tell her something is going otherwise it will always be a no. She barely notices once it's gone.

No new things until old things are gone - just commented on the Housekeeping thread that operating a one in one out method is something I wish I'd implemented years ago!

Could you maybe get a scrap book and take photos of all the 'things' she loves but doesn't need/play with etc. and put them all in there?

It could just be she likes holding on to things or it could potentially be linked to anxiety or feeling worried about growing up and letting go of things she associates with being younger. Do you think anything like that could be going on?

I think it's important to get her into good habits now, so it doesn't become a problem later. I had a difficult childhood in many ways, and growing up I really struggled to let go of possessions. Even fairly meaningless or worthless things
They gave a sense of security and permanence that I needed and wasn't getting elsewhere and reminded me of the ' better times'. It's something I've had to address myself as an adult.

I agree with others that photos of things, scraps of material from a favourite old dress etc etc can help. Also the one in one out idea will soon focus a child's mind. Christmas is coming up..!

But I would take time to explore if she's worried or anxious about things, or if she's struggling with change.

My ds was like this. I told him if I take (whatever it was) to a charity shop, another child who would otherwise go without would really benefit from it. Seemed to work.

God my son is like this. And my parents are massive hoarders so I'm afraid it may be genetic, and then on here people who are hoarders always say it is because their parents cruelly got rid of their stuff when they were children, so I don't want to make him worse but...stuff needs to be go!

Maybe she could take photos to remember the things instead. Or do funny comparison photos so she has a version of herself as a baby using the things and her as a big girl who doesn't need those things (and looks silly/funny in them when she sees herself).

That is lovely. I wish I’d thought of that years ago. My children all have hoarders tendencies tbh I don’t ask I just clear stuff out when they aren’t around as otherwise I’d have drawers of tiny clothes and broken toys. If I do ask it’s always nooo for stuff they never use or play with so off it goes into a box or shed if no one asks for a month or two it’s quietly donated or tipped.

Just get rid …..she’s 9 ….she’s old enough to understand that you can’t keep everything as you don’t have the space…..buy her something new to placate her ( something small though !)

Does she believe in Santa? My 2 pack up everything they don't use and leave it under the Christmas tree. The elves get it at the beginning of Christmas when the tree first goes up and fix it up for the kids with no toys.

I don't think you're being heartless, I think you're being far too soft!

Has she had some trauma that would explain why she's so attached to her baby stuff?

Normally at that age they can't wait to get rid of baby stuff. Is she feeling the pressure of growing up, maybe? Are other girls at school talking about make-up/boys/puberty and she's scared? Do you associate extra pressure/responsibility with age, so she's not wanting to grow up any more than she has?

She can make choices about what to get rid of and what to keep, but you have to be in charge of how much. Get a crate and tell her she has to fill it every month. If a large item comes in, ask her to choose which equivalent thing will be leaving.