DD doesn't want to get rid of any of her stuff!

I wouldn't try to bully/force her out of it, I think you will just make it worse.

It probably sounds a bit overkill but maybe a child therapist could help?

I would definitely look into the emotional causes of hoarding and see if you can help her with this and perhaps suggest DH look into it too (but again I wouldn't insist - he has to want to do it on his own, but maybe seeing the same thing passing down to DD will make him want to?)

No advice sorry but sounds just like my daughter, who cried when I told her we were getting rid of the living room rug and having new carpets 😂 I was similar as a child, teenager and young adult. I grew out of it after having my DD and now relish in throwing things away and getting rid of the clutter. I absolutely hate keeping anything unnecessary now (very strange). My DD is a very sensitive type and gets very sentimental over things. Bless them. Maybe pp's suggestion of offering to replace it with something new/a toy might help?

ETA: just seen above suggestion of offering to give to a cousin. My DD loves giving things to her little cousin and was happy to part with some old books and her dressing table as it was being passed on to her. This is a good suggestion and something I'll purposely use in future 👍

Exactly all of this for my 9 year old daughter too. She is happier to get rid of stuff if it is going to her cousin. We also use the loft as a staging space and if she hasn't asked for something for a year it goes to the charity shop. When she does ask for those things I just do a vague, 'it must be in the loft somewhere' which she seems happy with.

My FIL kept all his childhood toys until he died in his 90s and pretty much everything else he acquired in between. We needed several huge skips when he died. Nobody ever got rid of any of his stuff when he was a child.

Teacher how the resale sites work or do a boot sale with her. If she sees a benefit to getting rid of things it may help her.

I strongly agree with this.

We have to choose what we have capacity to help them with, we are all humans with other stuff going on. So of course sometimes it's a good shout to spare ourselves the effort and find ways to get rid of the stuff without them knowing etc. With less treasured items like forgotten party bag bits I often fill a charity shop bag while they are at school.

But generally I find the answer to most tricky emotional situations with children is being the confident leader (you don't play with this toddler item anymore so we are donating it to another child) AND validating their perspective of not liking that, expressing heaps of empathy, support them through it, be the steady adult who knows the storm will pass. Show them we aren't afraid of feelings*

*(And find compassion and support for ourselves as we do this because sometimes we are overwhelmed and worried too, or short-tempered and wishing the storm would pass quicker because it's e.g unwelcome and irritatingly irrational to us adults. And we are all always learning on the job with our unique children.)

My dad was like this. It was never discussed about having a clear out. You would come home from school and find half your things gone.

When I went on a gap year and my mum left him he disposed of all my things except my birth and exam certificates which he sent me. Needless to say I haven't seen him since then.

I have always been very sensitive towards my daughter's things and asked what she wanted to keep.

Seconding watching sort your life out with her. Honestly it's my inspiration, I struggle to let go of things and have done since childhood. Some of it is sentiment, some of it is not wanting to throw away perfectly good items with life left in them/feeling like I've wasted money if I get rid of them.
Donating/selling helps me too.

I had to work really hard to declutter ahead of a house move 3 years ago and I'm still not fully decluttered/unpacked. But I will get there!

I love PP's suggestion of leaving old things for the elves to collect ahead of Christmas. I think I might start doing that with my son (aged 3.5). It's probably more to help me than him 😅

Good luck OP 🤗

Mine has always been a bit like this but when she got to the teenage years threw out loads of stuff as she wanted a more grown up space. It took her ages to sort everything out but I gave her a hand and also bought her a few new things. She had so much more room afterwards!

This is what we do. We do the eld other shelf and tbe day they arrive, they ask for donations to refurbish or recycle into new toys.

Mine was similar! She did eventually grow out of it in her late teens. What I found worked best was to donate things instead of getting rid - that way she felt that they were going to have another life if that makes sense? She liked the thought of giving to other kids who were less fortunate than her and would be more keen to give up her stuff this way. If I said it was going in the bin it would’ve been a straight no!

I have natural hoarder tendencies and both my children have followed suit.
I do have a brutal declutter from time to time (redecorating or moving house is a good prompt and I'm currently long overdue a clear out). I found Marie Kondo very useful.
But it's hard clearing someone else's stuff, even Marie says that.

Something that works quite well is bagging up excess stuff and storing it in the loft. I promise not to get rid for a year and if they realise they're really missing something I can go and get it for them. They've never been able to name anything yet!

Following with interest as I have a DD8 who also wants to keep EVERYTHING and still talks about her toddler bed that I got rid of😭

I sneak small things out bit by bit. Larger things (the Ikea toy kitchen and toy piano are in the loft) But we are over run with soft toys and I am just hoping she will get to a point where she doesn’t want friends to see them so I can “put them in the loft” as an interim before charity shopping them. However I do share her sentimentality as I have thought about pruning the collection and just can’t as I remember where and when we got each one!

No, he's just not emotionally linked to stuff.

He may not be but your daughter is, so he should be a bit more understanding.

Renting a storage unit? Wtf, way to indulge it

She might be old enough to enjoy an evening watching a suitable episode of Sort your life out with you.. It could be a way to talk about letting go and feelings without it being focused on her.

I was a lot like this around her age; I've vivid memories of sobbing my heart out because we got new beds 🤔

But - your job in life isn't to protect her from all those feelings, it's to help her feel them and move on.

So don't keep the stuff; it has to go, she has to have her feelings about that, and everyone will be just fine in a day or two.

Renting a storage unit seems like the worst advice EVER. Everyone knows that your clutter expands to fill the available area.

Agree with what a lot of other people have said about one in, one out. Also if she really is emotionally attached to an old car seat, take a picture of it. Keeping everything we have ever owned is neither desirable nor practical. At 9 she is old enough to understand that. I also agree that you need to step up here and be the adult by nipping this behaviour in the bud - trying some of the strategies others have suggested but force her into the position where she is making the decision, not putting it off.

I sneak stuff out when they are at school. Harder with bigger items like a kitchen but easy with smaller things. They rarely even notice they are gone

Just get rid. She won't likely notice a lot of it missing. It's your call not hers

My DS is like this, we thought it might be linked to him being adopted. But perhaps not given others experience on this thread. I found that like a pp suggested, an interim of sending it to the attic made it easier to get rid of later. We have a very crowded attic now but that's due to laziness sadly

No, he's just not emotionally linked to stuff.

We have clear ours before birthdays to make space for presents.

Yes like the show sort your life out