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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset when people use personal crises as excuses for poor behaviour?

31 replies

TalkNerdyToMe · 23/09/2024 21:22

I often see people using personal crises or challenges as excuses for rude and inconsiderate behaviour. While I understand that everyone has tough times, I feel it shouldn’t be a blanket excuse for treating others poorly. AIBU to think that personal issues shouldn’t justify bad behaviour?

OP posts:
DojaPhat · 23/09/2024 21:36

I agree with you OP. When dealing with personal crisis I always seemed to withdraw into myself, not go looking for a person to release my sadness/anger/stress on. People who do this are aware of it too, it's interesting that they can be forgiven for being a bit short with the receptionist but oddly enough would manage to exchange a pleasantry with the CEO.

Leafstamp · 23/09/2024 21:35

poppyzbrite4 · 23/09/2024 21:24

I think you're being unreasonable. I can understand that someone who has just lost a loved one, been diagnosed with cancer, had a miscarriage, been sacked etc may be more abrupt or less considerate than they usually are

Agree.

HappierTimesAhead · 23/09/2024 21:34

It's difficult to say without some examples. A ballpark area of inconsiderate behaviour so to speak.

NeverEnoughPants · 23/09/2024 21:33

I don't think it is a 'blanket' excuse.

I think sometimes, when people are stressed and not coping and grieving and under pressure, they don't behave like they would ordinarily - and there are many factors at play. Not least of which are physiological changes that happen when under stress, that the individual can't control and will affect how they are and how they respond to others.

I had a breakdown a few years ago, due to ridiculous levels of stress. I have never felt that way before. I had no empathy for others. None. It was as much as I could do to make sure my kids had everything they needed. There was nothing left for anyone else. I'm sure I came across as abrupt, rude, dismissive etc. I fought my way back to mental health with very little external support.

You are very fortunate not to know what that's like.

Sapphire387 · 23/09/2024 21:32

Stiff upper lip, decorum to be maintained at all times. Never mind if your world is falling apart.

poppyzbrite4 · 23/09/2024 21:24

I think you're being unreasonable. I can understand that someone who has just lost a loved one, been diagnosed with cancer, had a miscarriage, been sacked etc may be more abrupt or less considerate than they usually are