Having I fucked up the sex talk?

You did just fine. There is nothing inherently different to your child’s question than “why do we hiccough?’ or “why is the sky blue?” or “where does poo come from?” Children are curious.

You answered a straightforward sensible question with a straightforward sensible answer. Their new knowledge won’t suddenly sexualise them. They will file it away, and go back to playing as normal, just the same as if you had just discussed poo. Just like with poo (perhaps less than with poo, given how hilarious my daughter found talking about poo at that age), there might be some discussion in the playground. But at least that discussion will be based on fact, and not some fallacy based on an ill-founded attempt to give an alternative answer that shields children from the truth.

The ‘special cuddle’ answer is awful, not just because it might make the child worried that they could have babies from a hug, but because when they start to suspect that that is incorrect, it teaches them that sex is something taboo and shameful. It also teaches them that they might not be able to trust you with the big questions later on.

We told our daughter when she asked at about the same age. She said "that must really tickle"

I grew up on a farm, so I knew from a very young age how babies are made. I can confirm it never did me any harm. My kids were the same when told in an age appropriate way - totally unfazed and not really that interested.

Your primary schools may be different but ime teacher-led sex education starts in year 5 but child-led starts in year 3.....

That's interesting. I didn't realize it's the belief that Mary was free of original sin. Funny, since I always assume she got pregnant from an extramarital affair.

OP, I think you pitched it exactly right for their ages. You've left it open for their questions, now.

Well, maybe. Hasn't done him any harm though

As an aside, the immaculate conception doesn’t actually refer to a virgin conception. (The immaculate conception wasn't the conception of Jesus.)

My ex husband used to refer to sex as 'are we having a cuddle tonight?'
Guaranteed to kill my libido stone dead. Hence the 'ex'.

Nothing wrong here. We went with straight up truth and biological facts, too.

I didn't want any kind of weird euphemisms or shame created around it. It's just a fact of life. We do it as humans, animals do it. There's nothing weird or dirty about it. Lying is just confusing for them and keeping it for "when they're older" just creates a weird taboo around it.

I want to keep the line of communication about these things open as they grow. It's important for them to know they're not going to be shamed or dismissed for asking questions about their own biology.

Why am I not surprised your son had no questions for you...

Nope, I think you smashed it and your children know they can trust you to answer their questions honestly. We’ve taken the same approach and my now teenagers, two of whom are in relationships, are open and honest with us and talk about the big and little things with us.

It depends who the audience is. 6 year old boy - it doesn't matter much either way. Girl - different ballgame all together

What do you mean it doesn't matter either way if the child is a boy? 🤨

I just let the school teach my son when he was 10. Asked if he had any questions, said no I mean it isn't hard to grasp any older kid will get it

Have you seen the world around them lately?
Not the best place to be learning about sex and relationships.

You didn't show them a video. You answered a question, they weren't that interested, they moved on. There is no innocence to take here, your DH is being dramatic. Did he want the stork story?

It depends who the audience is. 6 year old boy - it doesn't matter much either way. Girl - different ballgame all together.

It also depends on why they are asking. For example, child at school with unfiltered internet access exposes boy to pornography - need to set them straight with the facts, yes. Girl - this may need a greater intervention as sexualisation at a young age does massive harm to girl's self-esteem, promiscuity, propensity for depression, eating disorders, etc.

Go with the facts - yes - but try to understand why they asked as you may need to go further

DH?

Honestly I'm going to use this script when I eventually get this question. I think the frank approach is best when asked as when people start doing the whole special fluffy cuddle magic beans story it just doesn't sit right with me, although I maybe wouldn't have wanted my four year old to hear about the P in the V until she was older and asked herself but I get that it was asked in front of her so kind of hard to avoid. My 3 year old DD knows that some babies, like her and her brother, come from a scar on mummy's tummy that a dr made but other babies come from the vagina. She is unphased about the vagina exit but very interested in seeing my scar 😂

My mum gave me a book called the great sperm race when I started asking questions, not sure what she but I'm sure I was in Brownies so maybe 8-9. I remember that answering questions for me and I don't remember talking more about it until year 8 where they showed us a cartoon of a couple having a pillow fight that ended up with her pregnant 😂

@Chipsintheair that is a bit strange. Why isn’t it ok to say sex is something a man does with a woman / puts his penis in her? I get you explained it your way but I don’t understand why saying a man does it is wrong?

A belly's not an organ though, like the stomach is. Belly is just slang for the abdominal area. Which includes both the stomach and reproductive organs of a woman. So it's fair enough to use the informal word "belly". It isn't ok to say "stomach" or "tummy" because even very young kids know that that's where food goes.

Yeah, they defo dealt with it wrongly in my case. I used to get panicky over sex thinking it was wrong. If I had kids I would tell them outright but probably not at 6 years old, I would worry they’d tell other children in gory detail who may not be ready to know about it. I’d rather tell them when they were a bit older and able to keep it quiet in case others weren’t ready to know.

You think I sound sleazy ?

And I distinctly remember the moment my mum said to me and my sister when we were very young and asked how babies were made: "God plants a seed in the woman's tummy"

WTF was she thinking, saying that?!

My mum was crap at all that too. I think she tried to normalise it all by asking me from the age of 9 or so to go and fetch her sanitary pads from whatever drawer she kept them in if she was on her period. But when I asked about it she gave me a terrible explanation and said that the period is there inside a woman's body to help a baby start to grow and that it happens every month unless a baby is growing there, in which case the blood comes out and you need to wear a pad. Somehow there was no connection in my mind between the act of sex and periods. All I thought was that if your body had periods there was the possibility of a baby growing. She didnt explain that actually quite young girls can have periods, so I just thought it was people my mum's age who had them. Which resulted in me being horrified when my friend at school told me that girls can have periods from about 11 or 12 - I thought it meant that a baby could start growing at any time. I had put no connection whatever between that and sex.

Honestly, there is room for so much confusion unless you explain very carefully and without embarrassment.