Having I fucked up the sex talk?

😂👌🏽

My rule of thumb on these things is to be child led whilst not overburdening with too much information. So providing age appropriate facts.

I think you handled this well. They ask until they satisfy themselves at their own logical level of understanding because if you tell them "stories" it can make the world seem pretty confusing and leave them drawing up some pretty odd conclusions about how the world works.

I did the same with Father Christmas. Let them believe as long as they accepted the story and got joy out of it. Answered their very specific logical questions honestly when they started to show confusion and struggle to accept the possibility with "what do you think about it?" And when they shared their sensible logic "You are really clever you have worked it out. But it's not your job to share this with others in your class that's a job for their parents not you."

Your OH is very prim. At 4 years old our little girl was eager to see my "tail"; she doesn't seem to have suffered or been in any way affected by this experience. She also developed a habit of waggling her bare bum at me at bedtime. Now she has given it up at 7.

to add - both children (DS and DD) had the "what will happen when I grow up" books from about 6. They were fascinated and would swap the books and discuss. It is just biology!

Absolutely nothing wrong at all! These type of chats need to be normalised early. However do not be surprised if they forget... DS was a very advanced reader and hit certain 'terms' earlier than normal, so we had to explain what they meant, and often his reply would be 'what is sex again??'. We just explained again!

Killjoy.

Agree with VikingLady that @Chipsintheair worded the act well, emphasising the consensual nature of sex rather than the man doing it to a woman.

Why?

I believe in total frankness. Not just about sex but the Santa Claus myth.

Yes and aural sex is hearing about it.

Year 5 sex education is much more detailed than what the OP told her child. For starters it includes puberty (periods, wet dreams etc) and then there’s more details than like masturbation and ejaculation. Schools wait until year 5 because even the most conservative parents should have had the chat by then and just in case they never plan to say anything , children should be forewarned about subjects like periods. Finding out information in the playground could lead to massive problems.

This is one of those topics where it’s better to chat when they are young because younger kids accept it very matter of factly.

I never thought about that. I did go off on one to my eldest about the origin of the word vagina (sword sheath ffs!) and the perniciousness of the virginity myth (she's 12 and it's becoming relevant to her social group) but I hadn't thought of how I described the mechanics. I'll use that, thanks.

I hope you are just messing. It is so easy to have distorted ideas about sex and sexuality. I regularly encounter adults who do not understand how their bodies work and it is impacting their sexual functioning, their relationships, their self-esteem. It can ruin lives.

It is hard to grasp lots of things, but I suppose if you don't see that then it might be better you didn't teach them. I hope for their sake that school has done a good job. Sadly, in my experience, it is very common that they do not.

What…? No, the Bible says that the angel Gabriel tells Mary that she’s going to be the mother of God’s son. Mary asks how this is possible, because she’s a virgin; Gabriel says the power of the Holy Spirit will come over her. Mary says that she’s God’s servant and agrees with God’s will.

Which is why she’s the Virgin Mary and Jesus is the Son of God. Your version sounds like somebody’s explicit Bible fanfic from Archive Of Our Own. 😂

I think if you don't make a massive deal of Having The Sex Talk with a young child, but just answer their questions about biology factually, they're not likely to talk about it in the playground because it's just another fact - like a PP said, it's just like knowing why the sky is blue or whatever.

Saying that sperm comes out of a grown up man's penis and into a grown up woman's vagina so it can travel into her womb, meet an egg and start growing a baby, and eventually when the baby is big enough it comes out of her vagina or she can have an operation to take it out through her tummy, is very different to telling a child about the emotional, or pleasurable, or even religious/moral (for some people) side of sex.

That's the side that has to be explained very differently to a 4 year old, and a 9 year old, and a 12 year old, and a 16 year old. It is also the side that makes adults embarrassed and it's what adults associate with sex. Explaining biological facts to a child is not really explaining "sex" to a child because for an adult, sex is much more than the biology of making a baby, and might not include that at all.

I think there's no problem at all with a 4 year old knowing the biology of where babies come from if they ask. I would (and have) also tell them that only grownups can make a baby and it's not something that children can do.

Children that age also need to know that their private parts are private, and they should also be taught about consent and boundaries in terms of cuddles, tickles etc. Obviously those types of conversations change completely in terms of detail and emphasis as they get older.

🤭🤭🤭

Actually in chickens the "egg hatch" and the "bum" are the same hole ...

Y3 is old enough to know if your mum tells you something not to go telling friends in case their parents aren’t comfortable with it/ want to tell their kids themselves

y4 is when I got taken out of sex Ed lol

When my DS was about 9, there was a 1pm news item about a man being raped just as he walked into the room. He asked how that would be possible . I gave him basic facts ( while squirming a tad inside) . He laughed and said something like "no, really?" He's not been scarred by it, doesn't remember it now.
Playground chat is enlightening, about age 8 he said something about being sexy, so I asked him if he knew what sex was. He went on to describe very accurately a tit wank 😂Put him straight on that. Playground chatter obviously not very accurate 🤔

I was brought up in that "certain religion" too (I assume you mean Catholicism?) and was taught accurate biological facts about sex from a young age. My grandmother grew up on a farm in rural Poland and so was extremely matter of fact about everything, and so my mum was as well.

Non consensual sex with an angel according to the bible.

Eh, that's not what the bible says at all.

Non consensual sex with an angel according to the bible.

Bit much to assume it was Mary's fault? Likely she was only about 12.

Mind you in the religion she came from she would have been considered guilty which is why Joseph was so generous is agreeing to stay with her.

I remember kids at school talking about sex when I was in year 3. This was a long time before the internet. Surely it's best to tell them a version you're happy with before they hear something worse from other kids. They will hear it from someone by 7 or 8 so you do need to be thinking about it by 6 or you will be too late

We used the term special cuddle at that age and had no issues. My dd 12 is very informed about sex and everything to do with it. Which included a discussion about abortion and how to get an implant etc.

You can't keep kids ignorant until you're ready, it doesn't work like that.

You just get a choice between you telling them, or leaving it up to Tyler in Year 4 whose older brother showed him a pornhub clip.

You did fine, I told my children the same from about the age of 4.

If you leave it up to slightly older boys at school to teach them then they end up believing that the man has to pee in the woman's mouth or something.