Having I fucked up the sex talk?

I never discussed this with DH either, we both always tended to answer our children’s questions factually in age appropriate language. That way there’s no big mystery, no having to ‘have the talk’, etc. How would your DH have answered the question?

What innocence have you stolen ?? Nonsense!

Weirdly my DH had the same opinion when I told my then 6 year old the same thing (& got a similar response). My DH isn't usually prudish or anything like that so I was surprised by his reaction.

I told him to get over it as I'd always be honest with them in an age appropriate way & funnily enough, I'm the one my teenage boys speak to about sex and not their dad.

My mum didn't tell me a thing about any of it (including periods) so I grew up with all sorts of misinformation and swore I'd always be honest with the kids (in an age appropriate way of course)

Yes realism! My 6 year old son asked if we could see a baby being born so I let him watch a video of a real uncensored birth from YouTube. It's just life! Periods too, normalise normal!

He says I've stolen their innocence

Is he a Daily Mail headline-writer?

What’s the 80’s got to do with it?

My Dd was born early 90’s. I had same conversations with him.

Trying with laughter at “a special cuddle”. OP your approach was perfect.

Sex in the dark under the covers only. Needless to say it was crap!!
Possibly made clear when we divorced and he had a fling with my new landlord..
Keith.

Stolen their innocence? 🤣 by telling them biological facts in an age appropriate way?

I was like you op, answered questions openly and honestly, and as such my teens and adult kids have always come to me with anything they need help with or didn't understand, rather than getting their information elsewhere.

There have been some surprising questions over the years for sure (and I still have 2 under 10 as well so likely to be more) but it's great that they know they can ask you a question and you'll tell the truth.

What?

Did you have an immaculate conception?

I ex0lained to my daighter in a similar way when she was the same age, OP. My sister in law was pregnant with my niece and she said, "I know how the baby gets out but how does it get in there?"

So I told her.

It's not stealing anyone's innocence because it's not a Bad Thing.

DH said I should have said that people have a special cuddle

I had a friend who was terrified of hugging anyone in primary school in case she ended up with a baby inside her because of the 'special cuddle'. She had no idea what it meant so if someone in her family asked her if she wanted a cuddle, she thought she'd have a baby.

Best to be factual in an age appropriate way in my view.

Best friend is pregnant. Around 6 months ds started talking about how exciting it is going to be when the baby comes out of her mouth!

So, we had told the children (4 year old besties) that the baby was in bfs tummy. Things get from your mouth to your tummy so logically that's how they had decided the baby was going to come out.

We sat them down and told them where the baby really was, how it got there, where it's coming out etc. They shrugged and ran off shouting "vagina baby".

We probably should have waited until after music with mummy!

Your husband is weird.

I find talk of special cuddles repulsive and open to lots of confusion.

I think you did exactly the right thing. It's not a big deal, it's just biology. My DS sometimes tells me he wants to go back to being an egg in my tummy because he liked being so small.

A sensible question deserves a sensible answer. I dont think you did anything wrong. What would your husband prefer? Cabbage patches and storks?

My son asked just this evening 'what's that hole?' whilst I was changing my daughter's nappy. Told him it's where babies come out. He thought about it for a second and then said 'but she can't have a baby come out her lady bits! She's only a baby!' Just said that it's all ready for when she's grown up and ready to have babies. No further questions as of yet but I'm sure once he's had time to process, more will come.

Factual and minimal is the way to go. Answer what they ask and leave it to them to come back with follow up questions. Sounds like you did exactly what your son needed you to do in the moment

You did the best thing. Shows in your dc attitude, they took it in their stride.

Sounds like you did a great job. Kids need truth, simplicity and clarity when it comes to discussions about sex. Your husband's bonkers. Bloody special cuddle - what a load of horse manure!!

I personally think there’s a lot to be said for answering, factually and in age appropriate terms, exactly what you’ve been asked. What you said sounds perfectly appropriate and you followed their cues by letting them move on - they’ll probably digest and come back with more questions when they’re ready.

Quite.

Boring facts are great. Although when you have a CS kid you have to have the 'vagina most of the time but not you' chat. [chat]

I think you did bloody great. My DS were similar ages and asked and I pretty much told them the same.

Way too much nonsense and silly made up words for body parts causing way more confusion.

I think if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to get an explanation. I have said similar to my child.

You did nothing wrong. I think it's much better to tell the truth which you did.
Saying people have a special cuddle won't satisfy a curious child for long. You would get the follow up questions about what sort of special cuddle and can I have a baby by having a cuddle etc

I'm sure they are fine. Factual is the best way to go. I think something like 'special cuddle' opens up a whole lot of confusion and worry- what if Grandma innocently asks him for a special cuddle at some point.