Having I fucked up the sex talk?

Oh that would be an ideal time to be a fly on the wall 😂

I told my daughter around 5 and, as you say, they just take it onboard and move on with their lives. It’s just a fact. I’d be concerned your husband thinks learning facts equates to losing innocence, did he expect you to lie?

My son is 6 and I wouldn't have told him that penises go in vaginas, let alone my listening 4 year old. I don't think it's age appropriate personally.

I'd have probably said something like "that's a discussion for when you're a bit older" and moved the conversation away.

I get you want to be honest and open, but age appropriateness is important to make children feel safe and secure. There are just some things that come with age, I think at least.

@Efrogwraig the one that caught me off guard was Ds1 starting year 7 and asking me what anal lube was. Turns out some kid brought it into school, said it was on his Mum's bedside table.

Your children asked, you answered and it all moved on. Nothing wrong with that. You would only have affected their innocence by telling them when they hadn't asked.
My children are a bit older and I answer their questions as and when they ask, rather than having a sex talk at a certain age.
The sex talk has been helped along by having a fertile cat......

Mine were the same age when I told them similar. I was showing them all kinds of things about the body when they were young (I'm a qualified biologist so I'm on the enthusiastic side when they ask questions)
One was absolutely fascinated by the brain when he was 6, so we went pretty in depth about that. I think it's great to start early with facts, there's nothing shameful about the body and its processes.

😂😂😂😂

You did it exactly the way I did it. My kids looked at me and said something along the lines of 'Ew, I'm never going to do that!'. I'm Dutch, we don't tend to hold with the 'special cuddle bullshit'.

Your husband needs to give his head a wobble. 'Stolen their innocence' indeed!

How did he implant the seed into your tummy then? Blindfolded??

I took a similar approach. DH was fully supportive but a bit taken aback when he came down to breakfast next morning to be told “morning daddy! I hear you put your penis in mummy’s vagina. Twice!”

Give over. I have a clear memory from kindergarten (age 4-5?) of us having a discussion about where babies come from. One of the boys insisted a man pees inside a woman. I must have told my parents because next thing I know I have a set of age-appropriate books on the subject. Yes, I was very much aware of the names of body parts and there was nothing fked up about it. There were customary dogs, birds and bees in those books too so I also learned where chicken eggs come from and that chicken's private parts are called cloaca.
I am a perfectly well adjusted human.

Completely appropriate - your DH is being a bit weird I think. Most people would answer this honestly I think.

My daughter found it hilarious, and kept pretending she had forgotten and asking me again....

Now she is an adolescent we have a very open relationship in terms of discussing stuff to do with body, relationships, sex etc. She trusts me to be factual and honest. I am proud of that - long may it continue!

I've always gone factual. Dh has come round to it. My parents never talked to me about anything, so no way was I going that route. They are really open with me which has it's pros and cons, like asking how two men have sex and two women have sex. Sometimes I'm tired and caught unawares and just answer them, it's only afterwards that I think, shit, should 8 have said that??? But I'd rather they got their facts straight.

Echo this as a good book. Also "Where Willy went" a sperm in the great swimming race. Son v gratified as he smugly announced "My sperm won"!

Explaining a blow job was much harder!

I think you did the right thing. My mum told me the same as you when I was 4 and it helped me have the facts straight right from the beginning, no myths, no lying

My dh is like this. He said something similar when I told dd the proper name for hers and her brother's privates. She was about 6 then as well. If I’d said what you said he’d probably have fainted. I have held off on telling dd about penises going into vaginas until only recently. She’s ten now and it went very badly. She was totally horrified and upset by it so maybe I should have told her younger and she’d be less bothered now! I don’t think what you’ve done is wrong at all

Glad you got in there first, OP. Saying special cuddle is grim.

not at all, you did exactly the right thing.

DH needs to be told his approach is well outdated and the children will ask loads more questions about all kinds of things you could fib them off about, but if they are old enough to ask, they deserve an age appropriate explanation. Special cuddle I suppose is an explanation, but wayyyyy too young.

stay on top (ha ha) of this, god knows what else he'll tell them. They BOTH need to learn about periods and cycles etc.

A special cuddle!! 😱

I read my children a book called Mummy Laid an Egg, it can be found on youtube, it is hilarious and factual. I think Ds1 was 4 and his brother was 1. I had had a c section for Ds2 so didn't want him confused about how a baby exits the womb.

Knowing how babies are made early on means they don't remember being told, it is just a fact about bodies, these are your toes, that is your penis but we might call it your willy. Knowing the anatomical names like vulva and vagina means there is no ambiguity for any abuse situations God forbid.

Most definitely have.....

This is completely fine. I saw all of my siblings being born. It was totally normalised and I had no issue or trauma from it at all. I also knew about sex from a fairly young age, didn't think much of it, lost my virginity at age 19 (some people think that knowing how sex happens make children immediately want to do it!). You're fine OP.

Nothing wrong with what you said. Matter of fact. My son asked at a similar age. I told him, he didn't believe me 😂 but it was the start of honest dialogue about an important subject as the grow and ask questions.

Didn’t quite expect that ending. But perhaps Keith did.

Hopefully you’ve had some better post divorce sex.

A special cuddle - the absolute cringiness of that!