Does anyone else feel like they just exist?

Me too. Getting out of a bad marriage and away from my toxic family was a game changer. I think I had chronic low level depression with the situation. The world's my lobster now.

Are you feeling dissatisfied with something @Hernamewaslola22 ? Do you need to make some changes?

I completely lost the plot today and started to drive my car at a wall, thankfully I snapped out of it.

I've gone past my coping point but people are still piling the pressure on. 2 days of stupid drives unruly kids in a supermarket, rude customers and being shouted at on top of all the other crap broke me. Suspected kidnegnston a couple of weeks ago and sudden refusal of repeat prescription as computer said no adding to the stress.

I'm lucky I was able to get an appointment with my gp and have seen him. I'm suspected of being nd, have been referred form screening and they think I've had a massive overwhelm moment. The 2nd time but more understanding if why this time.

Life's just a bit shit for a lot of people at the moment but hopefully if it is shit for you, you can get some help.

Very much so. But I take into account my age (52) and the fact that my family has been through an incredibly difficult 3 years which has left not just me but my children feeling kind of like we're living life on 'battery saver mode'. This too shall pass! I hope!
I also think this is an expensive country. It's a bit of a boring country (about to go down in flames for writing this) in that yes, there's lots to do and see, but at a price that isn't affordable to most. You get nothing for your money anymore and we're just supposed to buck up and accept this. There's no other choice, really. Running a household has become, particularly since Covid, extortionate. Yes, there are worse places in the world. We all know that. But having lived in the UK for nearly 30 years, as an outsider (still! After all these years!) looking in, I feel like you have to keep your world very small and rather insular in order to get by.

I don't think the fact that the world is constantly going up in flames, thanks to sociopaths running shit, helps. But humans have been dealing with those bastards since time immemorial. There's always a Hitler clone coming 'round the corner to ruin things globally.

I feel like that. Although, I get burst of grief. I'm in a cycle of apath and grief. If I dropped down dead no one would care until they needed a meal or clean clothes.

I feel the same too. I'm going through the ' What's life all about?'

You wake up, sort the kids out, get to school, go to work, go home, make tea, get ready for tomorrow, go to bed and it's the same again the next day. Then occasionally go on holiday. At the weekends, its catching up on cleaning and back to work on Monday. What I'm afraid is time will pass by and then I'm 60+ and all I've done is work and clean the house.

This is lovely. I think my husband is like this, he is incredibly even tempered and though I feel sad for him sometimes that he doesn't often get super happy or swept up with joy or doubling over in laughter, I think in other ways he is to be envied.

Could you book something to look forward to OP - a mini-break for example?

I feel the same a lot. I feel guilty all day long as I have a wonderful DC who I want to be the best I can be for and give him the most wonderful childhood. But mostly I'm lonely and empty. I wish my marriage worked out but we separated and I'm so alone.

I feel the same as you OP but I’m trying to make changes.
I have no family or children so it’s just me and my DP and I felt like we were just on a treadmill going nowhere in life and days were slipping us by with boring monotony.

The biggest thing is that I have a disability and was forced to give up work two years ago, in a lot of ways it’s made life better but it’s also difficult with no real routine and structure in my day and I feel quite isolated with DP at work all day so I often spend the day alone.

I started planning things to look forward to and save up for, I went on holiday both last year and this June which kept me going when I was at a low point. I spent ages researching places to go and booked the holidays months in advance so I had time to look forward to them. I’m planning a surprise holiday for my partner in December for his fortieth birthday, it’ll put me in a bit of debt but I’ll cut back as much as possible to make it work and I’m planning it over Christmas so I’m using money that would have been spent on Christmas planning and presents, it’s usually just the two of us who spend it together at home so this will be a nice change.
The holiday will be instead of presents for both of us and I’ve asked friends to contribute instead of buying DP gifts.

I also book trips away for short mini breaks in cities, the holiday inn is very cheap if you book in advance and has a package with dinner, bed and breakfast. We don’t spend much and go for walks or to museums or cheap attractions. Tesco club card is also great for converting the points into trips out or even spa days. We had £150 in points to put towards a spa break earlier this year. I also used points to book a spa day just for myself locally.

I joined a gym and go at the same time every day to keep a bit of routine and I’m also looking at starting a slimming world class as I’ve gained weight from perimenopause, I have been a member in the past and it was nice to meet new people.
I’m not suggesting you need to join a slimming group but I wonder if there are any other groups you could join to meet new people?
Do you play any sports with teams you could join? or maybe you could do an evening class or learn a new language. Some of the happiest most fulfilled people I know say that having a hobby contributes to their happiness in a big way.

A pp asked about peri menopause, is this a possibility? A lot of my friends have said they have similar feelings of discontent and feeling a bit lost and in a rut at the moment, we have put it down to peri menopause as that’s the one thing that the women who are feeling low in common.

I think it’s quite common to get older and feel stuck in a rut and like nothing changes and time moves so quickly so it’s easy to let the days all run into one. When I was working I was doing 55 hours a week and was working - sleeping - working. I was at least around other people though and there was a social side to it. As we get older friends have busy lives and we end up seeing less of them, I think that’s one of the biggest changes. When we are younger we seem to spend a lot more time surrounded with groups of friends and going out and meeting people, this often changes when people start settling down and starting families. I miss the carefree days when me and my friends were all single childfree and spent most of our free time together. It’s easy to let that slip away as we get older and have less time and more responsibilities.

Do you have any close friends you can make plans with? Even if it’s just a night out once a month it’s something fun to look forward to and plan. Can you make more time for phone calls if it’s hard to meet in person? I speak to my best friend for hours on the phone sometimes when I’m doing housework or even just going for a walk. We struggle to meet up regularly in person so we schedule phone calls so we have time to talk and hopefully have a good laugh, it’s amazing the difference having a long conversation and a few giggles makes.

Do you have any pets? A couple of my friends got dogs when their kids left home for company. It’s changed their lives completely as they are getting out and exercising more when walking the dog, my friend even met her fiance when they were both walking their dogs.

It might be worth visiting your GP and telling them how you are feeling, if you are suffering from depression then you might need some medication or support, if you haven’t already considered perimenopause and are at an age where it could be likely then I would suggest mentioning that as well.

One last thing (I didn’t mean for this post to be so long!) I struggle with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) every year and I believe it’s very common. I bought a lamp that’s supposed to replicate sunlight and increase serotonin and melatonin and it seems to be making a difference. I haven’t had it long but I’ll keep using it as it’s worth a try.

I hope things improve for you, feeling lost and unsatisfied with life and being unhappy isn’t something you should ignore as it won’t go away on its own without making changes.

I don't want to sound preachy but wre there any local groups you could join? Even something run by the church that would mean mixing with others for a few hours a week.
Your post sounded so sad I didn't want to read it and leave it unacknowledged.

Sounds like depression.

I feel the same. I’m on autopilot, it’s awful.

I'm elderly, live alone, quite socially isolated, health is not the greatest.

I surf, doze, read, doze, surf some more. In god's waiting room, as the expression goes.

How?

Yes I feel this way too.

I do at the moment. I’m hoping it’s not long term or permanent.

Yabu.

I felt like that when I was worn down by an abusive marriage. Years of just going through the motions, unable to feel any joy.

Although the divorce was hard, I'm like a different person now.

Sometimes. But I've learned to embrace it. I just exist where I am, letting the world go by. Observing the details of nature and other people. Quiet and calm, accepting that it's not always necessary to feel anything too strongly. Sometimes you can just be. There's a quiet pleasure in it and it's very restful by comparison to struggle and trauma I've experienced in the past.

No I dont now but I have done when I was in a job I wasn't happy in, depressed and over weight, which caused social anxiety and my kids were little and we were skint so didn't really do much.

I went on antidepressants for eight months which gave me the confidence to get a new job which I enjoy, lose weight, we had more money and the kids became independent. Now we have more disposable income, holidays and a social life I feel good.

No, not at , I am frequently joyful and my usual state is one of calm peaceful enjoyment of life.

However, when I was unhappily married, I often felt like running away, like my life was spinning hopelessly away from me and I had absolutely no control over it.

I feel like this. I didn’t know if it was a side effect of SSRIs but it seems other people not on it feel it too.

I'm absolutely like this!!!!

I don't get excited over anything!