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Original poster

Birthday money for class friends - how much?

86 replies

Blueberrymuffin8 · 23/09/2024 10:53

Hi,

My son has his second class friend's birthday today. I put £20 in a card for the first one and wondering if £10 would suffice this time? He has another to go to in a couple of weeks and it's all starting to add up.

YABU - £10 is too little?
YANBU - £10 is ok for a primary school child!

Thanks!

OP posts:
MsBaker · 23/09/2024 19:46

PurpleHiker · 23/09/2024 11:12

I live in South London and I've noticed in recent years that the going rate seems to be £20 for 10-12 year olds. But if they are much younger then I think £10 is acceptable. Alternatively get a toy/Lego set type present but include a gift receipt.

WTF? 20 quid?!

shaniatwainfan · 23/09/2024 17:02

Actually for a 10 year old £10 is fine. I too thought you meant 5/6 year olds.

Mermaidsarereal · 23/09/2024 15:39

A fiver and a box of Maltesers was my go to present, I think even a tenners too generous!

CherryValley5 · 23/09/2024 14:55

£15/20 for us, but in reality most enjoy unwrapping presents more than anything! DD got a £5 once and to be honest it felt like quite an insult considering we always put on on a big party and pushed the boat out on presents for others..

Calliopespa · 23/09/2024 14:53

Singleandproud · 23/09/2024 14:49

@Obeseandashamed depends where you live though. If I had put £20 in DDs friends cards I would have risked making the parents feel uncomfortable and £10 would have been pushing it.

Depends on the cohort your child goes to school with. All professional parents £20 might be fine, a more disadvantaged area with lots of single parents or people working PT or in low paid work and with young children and siblings to cater for to, they aren't going to be spending £20 per child and may well feel uncomfortable receiving it.

Edited

Yes it could set the bar high. A fiver risks being a bit on the stingy side without something nice with it.

Ten pounds is a happy medium I think for a large class party. Possibly a bit on the light side if it’s a select group invited.

Singleandproud · 23/09/2024 14:49

@Obeseandashamed depends where you live though. If I had put £20 in DDs friends cards I would have risked making the parents feel uncomfortable and £10 would have been pushing it.

Depends on the cohort your child goes to school with. All professional parents £20 might be fine, a more disadvantaged area with lots of single parents or people working PT or in low paid work and with young children and siblings to cater for to, they aren't going to be spending £20 per child and may well feel uncomfortable receiving it.

Onedaynotyet · 23/09/2024 14:39

OP, I thought you were talking about reception/year 1 age. For a 10 year old, £10 sounds fine.

Onedaynotyet · 23/09/2024 14:38

tfresh · 23/09/2024 11:51

I think for 10 year old, anywhere from £30 - £60 would be appropriate.

said tfresh in a hopeful voice, aged 9 and 3/4.

mychilddeservesaneducation · 23/09/2024 14:25

£5 plus a bag of sweets for a general classmate. £10 for a good friend.

Obeseandashamed · 23/09/2024 12:34

@YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin 🤣🤣🤣 Your comment truly did make me laugh. I remember years ago one of my children had a birthday party and a new boy who had recently joined the school gifted him a £100 Amazon voucher for his birthday! I messaged the mother to check that it was intentional and kindly say that it was too much. As they were new to the school and it was their first experience of class party, they assumed that is how private school parents gifted 😅 She refused to let me return it but it is definitely not the norm in our school.

Obeseandashamed · 23/09/2024 12:29

£20 is the norm near us but I wouldn't blink an eye if my son received £10 in a card. It's a nice amount. I wouldn't ever give £5 though x

ThisOchreLemur · 23/09/2024 12:18

£5 for young children. My DD is in reception and that's what she receives. Xx

LittleMonks11 · 23/09/2024 12:16

I did £10 on a gift card that age onwards plus a little somet else

Littlemisscapable · 23/09/2024 12:15

Blueberrymuffin8 · 23/09/2024 11:30

They are 10 years old. I've spent years going out looking for presents and this year I thought the kids would be able to spend the money as they wish.

I think Im going to go for £15. Seems reasonable considering the cost (per head) of these parties!

Yep £15 is about right esp if it's an activity type birthday party as they are expensive

SBHon · 23/09/2024 12:13

£5 and sweets would be my go to. Definitely not £15-20 for a classmate.

LittleMonks11 · 23/09/2024 12:12

You know what I mean. It sounded like they were littles.

Singleandproud · 23/09/2024 12:11

Quite normal around her to do a fiver and bag of haribos when DD was little. Its not an affluent area though and she was always thrilled.

For a friend she wasn't close with I gave / spent £5 for her best friend £10 when she was little but they've been friends well over a decade and I'll spend up to £30 now. Once DD reached Secondary school I expected her to go 50:50 on any friends birthday and Christmas gifts and obviously the number of parties decreased massively to a couple a year.

ButterAsADip · 23/09/2024 12:06

I’d spend £10-15 on a pressie for a primary kid, but £10 in a card feels like a lot 😄 we’ve been on the primary school party circuit for years and I still don’t have an answer!

RuthW · 23/09/2024 12:04

£5 is fine

Original poster
Blueberrymuffin8 · 23/09/2024 12:04

InTheRainOnATrain · 23/09/2024 12:00

The OP made it sound a bit like it was his second ever party - I also thought she was talking about much younger kids.

But since it’s a 10YO then I think cash is fine and £10 is perfect!!

Show quote history

I meant the second party this year

I should have been more clear, sorry

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 23/09/2024 12:01

AgainandagainandagainSS · 23/09/2024 11:16

I always avoid money in cards for young children- can never guarantee the parents won’t pocket it/decide how it’s spent.

Wouldn’t the parents have as much or more idea than you how best to spend on their own Dc?

InTheRainOnATrain · 23/09/2024 12:00

SwingTheMonkey · 23/09/2024 11:56

She didn’t say they were 6?

Show quote history

The OP made it sound a bit like it was his second ever party - I also thought she was talking about much younger kids.

But since it’s a 10YO then I think cash is fine and £10 is perfect!!

Maria1979 · 23/09/2024 11:56

tfresh · 23/09/2024 11:51

I think for 10 year old, anywhere from £30 - £60 would be appropriate.

Yeah, right. Never ever seen this. 30£ max and that's rare. 10 for a schoolmate and 20 for a good friend is standard where I live.

SwingTheMonkey · 23/09/2024 11:56

LittleMonks11 · 23/09/2024 11:54

Should have said they were 10 not 6.

£10 is the sweet spot.

She didn’t say they were 6?

Isitlunchtimeyetimhungry · 23/09/2024 11:56

Put what you can afford. One of mine had a birthday recently and gifts ranged from £25 Lego sets to £2 colouring books. All gratefully received and loved by my child.

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