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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at colleague for doing too much work?

118 replies

User364837 · 23/09/2024 10:00

Trying to work out if this is a me problem or ainbu for feeling annoyed with colleague and might say something to her.

We’re on a training programme. Im older and have a bit more experience than her. She is incredibly bright, incredibly productive and incredibly intense.

we’re working together on something with a more senior colleague from the team I am going to go to when we finish our training, she’s going elsewhere.

she is just so damn quick. We got some more information in and the senior colleague has set up a meeting to discuss how we’re going to proceed.

but she’s already looked at all the stuff and is asking me what I thought (I haven’t looked yet, busy with other stuff!) she’s prepared a lengthy summary document on her findings to share at the meeting.

AND she did all this last week when she was on leave.

it really annoys me and I can’t figure out if it’s just that my nose is out of joint?

but I think it is also that it makes me look rubbish and also it’s like someone giving you the answer to a maths problem before you’ve done the working out. By racing ahead it means I don’t kind of do the process myself which I need to do.

aibu to tell her to back off and slow down? (Politely) or am I just bitter she’s better and quicker than me?

OP posts:
TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 23/09/2024 11:06

Working while on leave is counter-productive.
If I were her manager, I would roll my eyes at a long “summary” document - a summary should be short! Unless I had specifically asked her to do it. It would also depend on the quality - if it was beautifully written pulling out the key points I would be impressed. If it was in ungrammatical language, repetitive and badly structured, not so much.

That said, she’s just trying to impress during her probation.

Kneidlach · 23/09/2024 11:05

deargodno · 23/09/2024 10:41

be bitter or be better

Or have the confidence to run your own race and not get sucked into the (impossible to win) competition that our capitalist society tries to make you play!

readysteadynono · 23/09/2024 11:04

This was me. She is likely overworking due to anxiety. Not much you can do.. she will probably burn out and have to reassess! But you could offer some gentle encouragement not to overwork for her wellbeing.

Kneidlach · 23/09/2024 11:04

OP, I think I’m like you at work. I do my work thoroughly to a high standard, and need time to mentally process things before reaching a decision. And look with envy at - often younger - colleagues who seem to zoom through everything with an amazing amount of energy and enthusiasm.

But when it comes down to it, all you can do is to do your job to the best of your ability, playing to your own individual strengths.

I agree your colleague working on her leave is a massive problem. It only takes a few people like this on a team to normalise the ‘always on, always available’ culture, and for workloads to increase, as some people are choosing to work silly hours. And then it becomes near impossible for anyone to do their job within their normal hours. Which is a massive equality issue as only employees with little or no responsibilities outside of work can meet the new norm.

BecuaseIWantItThatWay · 23/09/2024 11:00

Yes OP, YABU.

As you say, you have more experience. Have you considered she is working hard to be perceived/feel that she is the right hire for the role?

Berga · 23/09/2024 10:56

I saw something over the weekend that said 'Here for the income, not the outcome' and that pretty much sums up my mid forties attitude to work. I have done the being quick, overworking, etc etc. I'm just done with it now. When I see younger colleagues doing it, I leave them to it. Good for them, it can be a life stage thing.

Brieonlybrie · 23/09/2024 10:48

she sounds fab and quick and on the ball. You are obviously just worried how she makes you look. You cannot tell her off for doing a great job. Yabu and you know it. either up your game or suck it up.

deargodno · 23/09/2024 10:41

be bitter or be better

betterangels · 23/09/2024 10:40

phoenixrosehere · 23/09/2024 10:24

Yabu.

You are responsible for your feelings of inadequacy, not her. Why should she dim herself to make you feel better?

She may like and enjoy her job, wants to do well, keep it, and progress further.

Being quick is my USP and main work skill, and I’ve built a successful career and reputation on that.

Same here. If someone came to me and told me to lessen myself unnecessarily, I would ignore them, maybe even go harder.

Absolutely this.

Step up your own game, OP.

CharlotteBog · 23/09/2024 10:39

She might be looking good, but it shouldn't make you look bad unless there is an expectation that you work during leave (in which case that's a management issue). As long as you are meeting your expectations then just let others get on with their work.

Glittertwins · 23/09/2024 10:39

Agree with others in that working whilst in leave is the only thing that's shouldn't have been done. ChatGPT (or any other AI) output should also be carefully reviewed before sending as it's not always relevant or correct - if it was used that is.
Everything else is down to you, sorry. I'd not take a blind bit of notice of someone who wanted me to work at their pace in working hours otherwise. I work how I work.

WobblyBoots · 23/09/2024 10:36

User364837 · 23/09/2024 10:29

thanks all, accept there is definitely an element of bitterness! She is incredibly detailed and imo overcompicates things and bombards you with too much detail and information overload.

but yes I shall hide my irritation, was good to get it off my chest here but agree on balance it is more of a me problem.

YABU. Let her crack on and focus on what you're good at.

For example, she has over complicated things and given too much information. Your skill is getting the key information and making it clear and simple. That I something I think comes with experience.

Im back from serveral maternity leaves and I work PT. The younger people who I work with are now very experienced and have a lot more time and it really upset me when I first got back. But you have to find a way to work together, and in some cases learn from them while they learn from you. Hard though.

HotCrossBunplease · 23/09/2024 10:34

dotdotdotdash · 23/09/2024 10:33

Working whilst on leave seems daft and will not be good for her in the long run. She may be using Chat GPT or similar to summarise information, which makes such task much less time consuming; so maybe try that?

Ha, yes, does her work read like it was written by a humourless yet strangely perky robot?

HotCrossBunplease · 23/09/2024 10:33

She should not be working while on leave unless there is an urgent deadline to be met on the day she is due back. That is something that her line manager needs to speak to her about.
If she is faster than you during working hours, that’s tough, you need to speed up.

If what she is producing is not of value (too detailed etc) then that is also a line management issue. When you meet to discuss her latest output, will her/your line manager be part of that discussion? If yes, they may pick up on this issue themselves if you make a few diplomatic comments.

dotdotdotdash · 23/09/2024 10:33

Working whilst on leave seems daft and will not be good for her in the long run. She may be using Chat GPT or similar to summarise information, which makes such task much less time consuming; so maybe try that?

mymycherrypie · 23/09/2024 10:30

My manager does this. Often taking work from other people so she can race ahead before they have had a chance. Working late and on holiday. I think it makes her look a little frantic. So had it been a manager I would be wondering why they cannot delegate and what else should they be doing if they need to fill the time with other peoples jobs.

as it’s someone on the same level, yabu. She just wants to get ahead. The working whilst on holiday is not a good look though, seems like unable to cope with workload in standard work hours.

LadySummerislesApple · 23/09/2024 10:30

YABU.

User364837 · 23/09/2024 10:29

thanks all, accept there is definitely an element of bitterness! She is incredibly detailed and imo overcompicates things and bombards you with too much detail and information overload.

but yes I shall hide my irritation, was good to get it off my chest here but agree on balance it is more of a me problem.

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 23/09/2024 10:28

aibu to tell her to back off and slow down? (Politely) or am I just bitter she’s better and quicker than me?

If you said this to me, I'd laugh and say to you to perhaps up your game if you don't like it.

Catza · 23/09/2024 10:28

I used to be like your colleague until an older team member pulled me aside and told me to be very careful with my time because burnout is no joke. I have since banned myself from opening my laptop on a holiday, at the weekend and generally credit my former colleague with my amazing work-life balance. Yes, I was a top performer in my team at the time but at great cost to my personal life and my mental health. And I was so far down that path, that I didn't even see it myself. I though that if I worded just a little bit harder, I would get all the recognition. In fact, nobody cared that I was up until 4am doing busy work while everyone else was sound asleep and up fresh for a meeting next morning.

Edingril · 23/09/2024 10:28

"I need you not mess up your work because you doing to right thing makes me look bad"
If you were told that what would you think

Is this really serious?

Bantai · 23/09/2024 10:28

If she chooses to work on her leave, its a bit sad but if that is how she chooses to spend her leave that is her choice.
She is young and keen to make an impression.
It is not a reflection on you, however it is reasonable to point out that you would appreciate if she could do the work at the training pace so that you can learn each step.
It is ok to say her working on while she is on leave is messing with your training.

forgotmypassagain · 23/09/2024 10:27

User364837 · 23/09/2024 10:00

Trying to work out if this is a me problem or ainbu for feeling annoyed with colleague and might say something to her.

We’re on a training programme. Im older and have a bit more experience than her. She is incredibly bright, incredibly productive and incredibly intense.

we’re working together on something with a more senior colleague from the team I am going to go to when we finish our training, she’s going elsewhere.

she is just so damn quick. We got some more information in and the senior colleague has set up a meeting to discuss how we’re going to proceed.

but she’s already looked at all the stuff and is asking me what I thought (I haven’t looked yet, busy with other stuff!) she’s prepared a lengthy summary document on her findings to share at the meeting.

AND she did all this last week when she was on leave.

it really annoys me and I can’t figure out if it’s just that my nose is out of joint?

but I think it is also that it makes me look rubbish and also it’s like someone giving you the answer to a maths problem before you’ve done the working out. By racing ahead it means I don’t kind of do the process myself which I need to do.

aibu to tell her to back off and slow down? (Politely) or am I just bitter she’s better and quicker than me?

I think you’ll get torn apart on here but I do know what you mean.

working on leave doesn’t mean she’s more efficient than you or quicker. I can’t be bothered with folk who do that. I’m well aware it’s their prerogative but it’s just daft and I don’t think it makes them look good. I manage a team of people (high performing team) and I would really discourage this.

Outofthere · 23/09/2024 10:26

I have a colleague like this. Younger, faster etc. I had a bit of a crisis of confidence around it and for a while and tried to keep up/ work out of hours with a busy home life.

Actually with time, I saw she made a lot of mistakes - just by not taking time to think projects through or by rushing other colleagues into making poor decisions. She’s great at what she does but has had to learn that work is not always about task completion in the fastest time.

I have since had a couple of promotions above her as I think my skills and experience are valued.

bombastix · 23/09/2024 10:26

Working on leave is a big no.

Otherwise she sounds very helpful. Such people are gold. You should be cultivating her.