I have had minimal contact with my mother for the last 7 years. She got married shortly after I moved to France and I only found out through my friend, who I was staying with at the time, who had been invited to the wedding reception. The last time I head from her was just before COVID when my grandmother (her mother) was in hospital. She called me out of the blue to say my grandmother wanted to speak to me as she was dying...she then gave the phone to her, we talked for 5 mins ( I was at work). When the phone was handed back I was immediately cut off.
I've spent a long time wondering why my mother has gone no contact. I've always been respectful and tried to help her the best I can. As a child and especially a teen I was more like the parent in our relationship.
I'm pretty confident she has a borderline personality disorder that has become worse with age.
I had a baby 6 months ago. I was sexually assaulted and fell pregnant so not planned and I am now a single mother. I reached out to my mum to tell her I was pregnant. She blanked me completely.
After the birthday old family friend travelled to visit me & my daughter. We had coffee and was lovely. She obviously knew about the relationship between my mother and I and assured me I had done nothing wrong. Apparently she gets snappy with anyone who mentions me and pretends she doesn't have a daughter. She calls her two dogs her babies. The reason apparently was because I moved out (as an adult) and that's all there was to it. The family friend has since been very supportive.
So this is the AIBU question. I feel terrible for my daughter who has no grandparents or brothers and sisters. We are a tiny family unit of just the two of us. AIBU to not trying to repair the relationship with my mother for my daughters sake.?