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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To avoid particular school because of another mum?

59 replies

Createaflower · 23/09/2024 06:32

Another mum at DS’s preschool really doesn’t like me and it’s already caused a few minor problems.

We now have to think about school next year, and there are two schools we could choose. One is on the way to my workplace and one is in the opposite direction but only five minutes.

The DS of the woman who doesn’t like me is going to the school on my way. AIBU to just choose the other one? Both OFSTED good. I just don’t want to be dealing with rudeness and frostiness for the next decade (we both have younger children the same age.)

OP posts:
Gazelda · 23/09/2024 07:28

OP, I can almost guarantee that they will be parents at whichever school you go to that are frosty and even rude. You and your DC aren't going to be friends with everyone.

I'd really focus on which school is the best for your children, based on visits and recommendations. Take the woman out of the decision.

Would you pick a school purely based on your DC saying he won't go to x school because he and Colin have fallen out?

Original poster
Createaflower · 23/09/2024 07:21

And no, we haven’t done visits yet. But I do think a big part of school is friendships and I just don’t want them compromised because of someone else’s difficult parent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Createaflower · 23/09/2024 07:20

@GRex i know because I was talking to her DH at a party. None of the schools here are over subscribed so while he hasn’t been offered a place formally there’s no reason he won’t go.

OP posts:
GRex · 23/09/2024 06:47

What kind of "few problems" can a pre-school mum cause?

How do you know what school her DS is going to but you haven't submitted applications yet?

Life is too short for fall outs with other parents. Just ignore and put your kid in the school you think they'll thrive in. I wouldn't pick based on location but look for positives like forest school, trips, parent comms, maths programme, reading programme, play facilities, computer labs etc. Did you visit both schools?

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 23/09/2024 06:45

Go for it then. If you can manage the logistics creating distance from an enemy they could affect your kids it's a good idea.

It's not often we acquire enemies unless you're a horrible person, so it's not likely to happen again.

Original poster
Createaflower · 23/09/2024 06:41

It’s more for my child to be honest. She’s quite well known in that village because I think she grew up there so had friendships and connections. I just don’t want him (and dd when it’s her turn) excluded from parties and play dates and so on. It’s just drama we don’t need.

OP posts:
Zoraflora · 23/09/2024 06:38

I wouldn’t let this woman be the deciding factor in what school my child goes to.

You need to realise there are people like her in every school.

Come up with tactics for dealing with her, Id probably just ignore her if she is rude. In another fee years your child will be more independent and you wont see as much of her.

AylesBuck · 23/09/2024 06:37

I’d say pick whatever school is more practical for you. There is no guarantee that you won’t have another mean mum on the other school.

Lifestooshort71 · 23/09/2024 06:35

Yes, go for it! Who'd want that sense of impending doom every Monday morning?