To avoid particular school because of another mum?

What are you on about???

Some random person doesn't like you.

The fact that you've given this any thought whatsoever is completely ridiculous.

To actually choose a school on this basis is absolutely batshit.

We are within a 10 min walking distance of four primary schools that were all much of a muchness when we visited. We ruled out one when we heard that a particular child from nursery would be going there (they were all undersubscribed so basically everyone got their first choice).

It wouldn't have made us not choose a school if it was our favourite. But when they had nothing much to separate them, avoiding a particular family did make a difference.

If all things are equal, take the other school if she’d def going to send her child to the opposite one. There are always going to be mean mums though, and they will always protect their own kid even if it’s obvious they’re the bully.

IMO villages are the worst for this kind of social exclusion. Are the schools in different villages, and do they serve just one area each? Or is there a crossover with kids from a mixture of villages and a bit less territorial.

Make sure you visit both the schools and get a feeling which one would suit your child best, check out the traffic patterns and parking at school run times, as well as seeing what kind of vibe you get from the other parents.

she kept sort of moving away so that if I tried to approach them the whole group shifted away
Just how big was the room? Are you honestly suggesting you could in no way have caught up with the group eventually by walking up to it!?!

If this is "the worst" then I'm afraid I think the issue is you massively over-thinking minor interactions, excluding yourself and possibly glaring at everyone else yourself. Next time - pause and breathe to collect yourself, walk over with a big smile, join the group saying "hello". It is genuinely MUCH easier than hiding in a corner talking to a random 4yo about ponies.

Maybe she thinks you flirt with her husband.

Parents don’t determine who your DC’s will be friends with. How much time do you spend with this woman to have such an impact on you?

I have said you are being unreasonable because you shouldn't let a parent you don't like affect your important decisions. You should choose a school based on what is right for your child.
Don't base it on the Ofsted judgement either. Two schools with the same judgement can be very different. Go and see them ,talk to staff and see which feels right for your child.

Oof I had a frosty cow at my sons primary it began when I had my youngest she was friendly and asked my (now ex) about me daily when he dropped our other son off as soon as I started doing the school run again boom bitch face she excluded me from things excluded my child when I got divorced then it got worse her son bullied mine for 6 fucking years and the school didn't want to do anything about it because SHE "was lovely" (also she worked at the school) then we had a new head teacher who promptly suspended him in year 6 but it was too late his behaviour was ingrained and he ended up being thrown out of high school within the first year (which came as a complete shock to him apparently) I wish I had taken my son out of the school but he is autistic and would freak out at the very thought of change so we ploughed on never in a million years did I think she would send him to the same high school as him as soon as I found out I was right on to the school telling them to keep him away from my son (they did thankfully)

So yeah take the other school

I would go to the other school where you won't see her, she'll become cliquey with other mums and then they will be rude to you as well. As that'll extend to your dc in class ect.

Peace of mind cannot be underestimated!

Just be absolutely sure her dc is going to the other school first. She may think you will choose the one on your route so go for the other one. Then you have an awkward journey and an awkward Mom.
To be honest l would pick the handiest one and not let her dictate my life for 8 years.

If the schools are equally good, and the extra 10 minutes travel isn’t a problem, then I’d avoid the other mum for sure. And I disagree with the people who say there’ll be someone like that at every school. I met mums who were less chatty and friendly than others, but none who were outright nasty. I think that’s quite unusual, and best avoided if possible.

If they are both good schools and you can manage the logistics of the other school I would go. Having lived through 18 months of this from a school parent and their child (because soon enough the kid will realise if they behave badly/ are mean to your child they won’t get in trouble with their parents) and living with the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach at drop off / pick up or school activities if you can avoid that - DO!

Without a few more details about the issues she’s caused, it’s difficult to say, but it would be a shame if she influenced your decision

Op if it's not too much of a hassle, say in day out, then go for it.

School politics can be fraught enough so going for the other one if it's easy enough sounds good.

We were in one school were the Mums were quite toxic for 5 years. When we moved for the last two years it was such a refreshing change, no one bothered anyone and it made it so much easier!

There's at least one mean mum at every school. But do whatever suits your own circumstances.

I might make it a factor, but if you haven’t visited the schools yet you may find two ‘good’ schools are very different and there are more important factors to choose one over the other.

It sounds like you just don’t know her. How can she be “frosty” to another person she has nothing to do with other than their kids both sharing a nursery?

Yes just choose the other one for a simple life. You don't want the school run to make you anxious, and feeling bullied at the many weekend birthday parties that come with primary.

If it was your favourite school I'd advise you to overcome this and just go, but it sounds like both schools are fine.

Sorry OP, I voted YABU until I saw your updates.
All other things being equal, then yes I would pick the school that avoids the drama.

How do you know she doesn’t like you? Has she already made life difficult for you?