To avoid particular school because of another mum?

Do what is best for your son, ignore the drama Queen. If she is like this with you, she probably is with others and will win no friends in time.

I imagine a couple of years in people will start to distance themselves from her anyway. There’s always a parent like this at every school, just avoid and carry on.
I do get it though, Infants is harder work as SO many parties your head can spin (in a good way of course)!
whatever you do, have faith and step on.

Pick the other school if and only if it's equal.
I had to do school runs (and football) for 4 years encountering the woman who had an affair with my husband daily. It was shit tbh. So if you can avoid the dusky hai f to think and worth about it then I would-because it makes what should be a simple and even potentially pleasurable thing really hard work.

But do make sure her kid is going to the other school first!

I don't know where you live, but that isn't a thing everywhere. In our borough you put 6 schools in preference order, you do not need to put your nearest school on the list at all. There are overlapping catchments all over the place as well as supposed gaps in catchment further out, so there isn't even a fixed "catchment school" in any event.

Just remember you need to register child at their catchment school. If you want to change you need to.put in a placing request which might not be given. Good luck with whatever you choose to do

I am really hoping that a kid in my son's year goes to the opposite school my son goes to. This is just to avoid the boy's mother.

Definitely look at the schools first.

I would absolutely pick the other school. If she is not nice to you now, that's not the biggest problem. In small towns and villages a person like that can be toxic and i do believe your children will be missed out of invitations as a result and will have a better chance with friendship groups in the other school.

Why is it? Op said both schools good etc. also, importantly, she doesn’t want her kids excluded because of this woman. Why would she choose drama over no drama?

Pick whichever school is best your child.

I would definitely look at both schools and if you like them both well enough, then go for the one where you won’t have to encounter this person ever again - life’s too short to deal with energy like that. Yes there might be another mean mum in the other school but equally there might not!

A school on your way is far more practical. Don't let her affect your choice! Visit the schools and then decide.

Please try and be logical about this and put your child first. There will obviously be more than just that other mum there!

go and look at both the schools before making a decision

personally, I would ask the woman why she is like this with you, have you done something to offend her as it seems that way and if your children are to attend school together you don't want there to be any bad feeling

I wouldn't based purely on that. If you view the schools and really can't choose between thenm it could be the deciding factor. But what if the husband is wrong/they change their mind etc etc? What if you go to the other school and they do too!

I'd go for the school you want and ignore her. My experience of hostile mums at the school is that they get bored and stop doing it when you don't rise to it.

As PPs have said, just because 2 schools are both rated good it does not mean they are equal or the same. My DD attends a primary that is rated good but they had a recent ungraded inspection and actually were given outstanding, they just weren't officially graded yet.
Whereas another school in our village is also rated good and is clinging onto that by a thread. Iv heard terrible things about it, and two children I know have been pulled out recently. Being rated good can be a whole broad spectrum and not necessarily reflect whats really going on. OP you need to visit these schools and get a feel for which one you really like.
Your decision shouldn't be based on this other parent or their child. A class full of children are not going to leave your child out because one childs mother doesnt like you. Ignore her, there will always be people we dont get on with in life. Its called being an adult and rising above it.

What do you think are her reasons for disliking you?

This.

There will be mean, ruse, aggressive, idiots in every walk of life. Don't let them dictate your choices. Deal with them.

In your mind she excluded you. That does not make your idea factual. In your story, the group moved around the room a bit... so you didn't speak to anyone. Factually, you excluded yourself. You really need to comprehend that, or you'll face this sort of issue time and time again.

Having had an awful time in the last few years of primary with a family who turned on us over issues happening at school, I would definitely avoid the drama.
Whilst the DC causing the problems are not in the same class anymore, and I’m seeking treatment for anxiety, I still get anxious over the school run.
Primary schools are pretty social places so avoiding unpleasant people is quite hard if you want to be present in your child’s school
life (assemblies, trips, PTA events etc)
Even if you’re just doing drop off/pick up at normal times those people are unavoidable, in my experience.
I feel for you, OP. Good luck!

I would 100% avoid negative people and yes parents can exclude your child from party invites etc so I would choose the other school

I would pick the other school if all else is equal.

Be prepared that once you go to the other one she'll want to be your best friend wherever you see her

She thinks she’s the Queen Bee horrible shrew of a woman.

She is intimidating you, which is very difficult to explain. It’s all of her issues not yours. In my experience people like her need someone to intimidate to make them feel less inadequate. They also need their wee band of merry men around them.

trust me, this won’t be her first rodeo.

I would avoid her, her children etc. Go to the other school and forget her.

No, I can't imagine letting another person control my life that way.