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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

283 replies

ohmydays37 · 22/09/2024 23:07

I donated two huge bags of clothes to local charity shop. Before I could even ask a question the woman who worked there demand my postcode for gift aid. I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission. She then said, I was extremely rude and it was for gift aid and she was running a business. In no way was I being rude (which I told her).

I guess my AIBU to think you can't just ambush people for gift aid without knowing if 1) they pay tax and 2) you need to explain the details of it. Which she didn't.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 23/09/2024 07:52

Soontobe60 · 23/09/2024 07:25

Me neither! It smacks of Stepford Wives.

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It wouldn't have been just the postcode though, they'd have wanted the house number and his name as well. DH was self employed so I would never have given his details for gift aid without checking with him first.

Cantsleeper · 23/09/2024 07:52

SonjaBarkerFinch · 23/09/2024 06:51

This!

Just another day in the life of a mumsnetter!

”My husband deals with that”????

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I don’t know why people are wringing her hands over what op said. Her husband does deal with that as he’s the taxpayer. When I signed up for gift aid years ago I had to fill in a form and sign it confirming I paid tax and was happy for some of my tax to go to the charity. Op couldn’t have done that. The way people pick apart posts on here is fascinating!

Londonrach1 · 23/09/2024 07:50

HotCrossBunplease · 23/09/2024 07:35

I sincerely hope that you are calling Marie Curie disingenous and not me? I posted their information in good faith.

What you say is interesting, but I can’t imagine that it’s remotely possible on a practical to chase individuals to pay tax on old clothes returned to a charity shop.

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Sadly they do chase you if you don't pay enough tax as my mums friend got a tax bill for her donated items. I don't understand why anyone does gift aid. Learnt on this thread although I should have known it takes money from the gov for services.

Teateaandmoretea · 23/09/2024 07:49

HotCrossBunplease · 23/09/2024 07:35

I sincerely hope that you are calling Marie Curie disingenous and not me? I posted their information in good faith.

What you say is interesting, but I can’t imagine that it’s remotely possible on a practical to chase individuals to pay tax on old clothes returned to a charity shop.

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What?

They just tag the items to the person then claim against the sale price.

That’s why they asked for the details when the bag was dropped off.

warmduvetnights · 23/09/2024 07:45

DrummingMousWife · 23/09/2024 07:30

Don’t go there again a don’t donate. People are kindly giving their items and she is being a rude nasty woman

I wouldn’t punish those who are helped by the charity just because one volunteer/ employer was a bit rude. That’s utterly disproportionate.

Differentstarts · 23/09/2024 07:44

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If hyperbole means what I think it does yes

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 07:36

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HotCrossBunplease · 23/09/2024 07:35

BrokenSushiLook · 23/09/2024 07:04

@Razorrain the details of retail gift aid from MarieCurie posted by @HotCrossBunplease is a bit disingenuous and only tells half the story.

If you sogn up for retail gift aid the smallprint says that the items remain your property until sold and that the charity shop is selling them on your behalf and will then claim your gift aid on the sale price money. If you don't pay much tax and you donate boutique or rare items of clothing you could end up owing HMRC money. Althoigh most charity shops now only allow returns for credit rarher than refund, there have been cases where charity shops did allow refunds and the person who donated the original itens is then liable to pay the extra tax into HMRC. I don't want to get embroiled in it at all.

Some people also have an ethical objection against Gift Aid in general. If you take the position that the state ought to be meeting people's needs for health and social care and that charities are meeting the needs where the state's offer is inadequate then it's a potential opinion to hold that it is inappropriate to remove some amount of the state's tax revenue and give it to the charity because in effect you are therefore merely contributing to making the state's funding shortfall worse

I sincerely hope that you are calling Marie Curie disingenous and not me? I posted their information in good faith.

What you say is interesting, but I can’t imagine that it’s remotely possible on a practical to chase individuals to pay tax on old clothes returned to a charity shop.

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 07:33

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Gowlett · 23/09/2024 07:32

I just say “no thanks” to all of these questions in shops.

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 07:31

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ledsafari · 23/09/2024 07:31

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DrummingMousWife · 23/09/2024 07:30

Don’t go there again a don’t donate. People are kindly giving their items and she is being a rude nasty woman

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 23/09/2024 07:29

You can't get gift aid on clothing donations, it's for money.
However your response was odd, if you'd just said I'm not eligible for gift aid it might've been different.

Unitedthebest · 23/09/2024 07:29

poppyzbrite4 · 22/09/2024 23:10

I would be generous OP as some people working in charity shops have learning difficulties. I donated some bags of stuff once and asked for the bags back and the woman said, "Stupid woman!" But I believe the staff were SEN.

Edited

Had SEN not were SEN-its not their whole identity

Moonshiners · 23/09/2024 07:28

JennySayQuoi · 22/09/2024 23:43

Thing is, if your husband isn't signed up to Gift Aid in that particular charity, there's no point you giving his details anyway. You're not allowed to sign on his behalf; a new Gift Aid declaration needs the signature of the tax payer. And if she is 'running a business' she should know that!

DH does it all in my name, not sure why it's an issue, as long as he is paying tax in the UK.

Calmestofallthechickens · 23/09/2024 07:28

I ALWAYS use ‘my husband deals with that’ if I can’t be bothered engaging with someone - do you want a deal on your broadband? Husband. do you want to change your energy supplier? Husband. Can I have a moment of your time to tell you about canine war veterans? Husband.

My husband similarly says he can’t do things because ‘his wife deals with it’. Doesn’t everyone? It’s not a 1950s/sexist thing, I thought it was like the universally acknowledged socially acceptable way to say ‘I can’t be arsed’. 🫣

Teateaandmoretea · 23/09/2024 07:27

Or just maybe the OP was rude too?

Why is being mildly rude such an issue?

Soontobe60 · 23/09/2024 07:26

Holidayhell22 · 23/09/2024 07:23

Interesting points re gift aid, thank you for the information.
The woman in the shop was very rude.
She needs to learn that:

  1. not everyone is eligible for gift aid
  2. not everyone wants to sign up to it
  3. she is not complying to GDPR guidelines.
  4. her attitude might be damaging the charity.

Or just maybe the OP was rude too? After all, we only have one side of the story here.

Soontobe60 · 23/09/2024 07:25

Wantsalotofattentio · 22/09/2024 23:18

I can't get past you not giving out your post code without your husband's permission

Me neither! It smacks of Stepford Wives.

Teateaandmoretea · 23/09/2024 07:24

Yabu for contributing to the ridiculous mumsnet handwringing over ‘rudeness’

Being rude isn’t a crime, sometimes it’s justified. Just move on.

Holidayhell22 · 23/09/2024 07:23

Interesting points re gift aid, thank you for the information.
The woman in the shop was very rude.
She needs to learn that:

  1. not everyone is eligible for gift aid
  2. not everyone wants to sign up to it
  3. she is not complying to GDPR guidelines.
  4. her attitude might be damaging the charity.
warmduvetnights · 23/09/2024 07:23

Needmorelego · 22/09/2024 23:20

If the women in the shop actually said the words the OP said then it's more just odd than rude.
She's not "running a business" - she's working for a charity - so odd thing to say.
Any manager of a charity shop should know that not everyone pays tax so can't sign up for Gift Aid - so being rude because the OP said no is even more bizarre.
@ohmydays37 I'd just forget about it. It all sounds a weird interaction. Donate to a different charity shop next time.

They are run as businesses. The managers are retail managers and have targets to hit like any other business. They are income for the charity and professionally run.

That individual was rude and unprofessional though

wickerlady · 23/09/2024 07:23

Wantsalotofattentio · 22/09/2024 23:18

I can't get past you not giving out your post code without your husband's permission

It's not just giving out a postcode though is it?

It's OP saying it's ok for the charity shop to claim tax back on goods donated on her husbands behalf, which he hasn't given permission for. OP doesn't pay tax so couldn't tick the declaration for herself.

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 07:19

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