To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

I have replied “I don’t pay tax” (which is alas a lie, I pay fucking loads) in some circumstances when I haven’t wanted to leave details. I do often gift aid but there’s been occasions when I just wanted to drop and run.

I stopped using a local charity shop because they still insist on appointments for donations (started in Covid and won’t stop) I just don’t have the bandwidth for that- I chuck stuff at charity shops spontaneously.

How did she actually demand your postcode rather than asking for it?

I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission.

It's an odd response. Just say you don't want to do it. Gift aid doesn't require you - or him - to do anything beyond the initial box tick that she was going to do. Weird thing to make a deal of.

People who work in charity shops are often volunteers and are doing what they think best by the charity or have been told to ask the question. Two answers - give your postcode or say "I am not a tax-payer". Simple. If you don't like the attitude of one charity shop, there are often others down the street that would be grateful for your contribution (might ask the same question mind). If you can give it some charity shops even tell you what your things donated sold for over the year (I think this is a bit pointless personally, you are having a clear out, want it to do some good and are happy to dump stuff off and for it to sell for the best price to them). No drama.

The questions about Gift Aid on the tax return are because, for a higher rate tax payer, they get the additional tax paid on the donation back. I don't think anyone would care if you didn't declare your donations - and the charity shop ones aren't really declarable as you don't know how much they've sold the stuff for.

I'm pretty sure one charity shop said I couldn't give them my husband's details for the Gift Aid.

Thing is, if your husband isn't signed up to Gift Aid in that particular charity, there's no point you giving his details anyway. You're not allowed to sign on his behalf; a new Gift Aid declaration needs the signature of the tax payer. And if she is 'running a business' she should know that!

What's stressful about it? Genuinely curious.

I don’t understand what the woman was doing tbh

Was she acting as an “agent” or was this just your average charity shop? Gift aid is on money. Your husband didn’t donate. He can’t sign anything. The charity can’t claim against his details.

It's not rude to decline to Gift Aid, you have no obligation to do so, but it was a bit weird not to just say "no, I don't want to add Gift Aid" rather than digressing into excuses about your husband dealing with that. In any case it was totally inappropriate for the charity shop to criticise you as a donor. Yanbu.

For some unknown reason my DH won’t do gift aid. So I wouldn’t give someone else’s details without permission.
There is no reason to give postcode, just like people who get annoyed by giving email address for receipt.
Sometimes the attitude of staff. Means I don’t feel guilty for filling the bags that come through the door. Not even bothered if they are stolen as least they go.

I don’t think it’s odd. Don’t you have to sign a form/ declaration for gift aid that confirms you are a tax payer? If he hadn’t done it then she can’t do it on his behalf so giving details is pointless.

Hmmm

What did she mean she was “running a business”? It’s a charity.

I don’t donate to charity shops anymore it’s too stressful

She was rude. I'm usually politely asked if I pay tax and then if I would like to Gift Aid my donations.

But refusing to give your husband's details in a charity shop seems a bit odd.

If the women in the shop actually said the words the OP said then it's more just odd than rude.
She's not "running a business" - she's working for a charity - so odd thing to say.
Any manager of a charity shop should know that not everyone pays tax so can't sign up for Gift Aid - so being rude because the OP said no is even more bizarre.
@ohmydays37 I'd just forget about it. It all sounds a weird interaction. Donate to a different charity shop next time.

I can't get past you not giving out your post code without your husband's permission

I think she was rude op. Tbh I'd have taken the stuff back and given it to a different charity. Is it not enough that you are giving them a bag of clothing? I hate it when some charity shop volunteers bully you to register for gift aid. You don't have to explain yourself to them as to whether or not you are paying tax. I think it complicates your tax return as there are loads of questions about gift aid/charities

OP didn't want to. That's reason enough.

Many post codes cover just one street or even a part of it. It's not strange that someone wouldn't want to give out their address.

Customer-facing staff should not be demanding personal information beyond the absolutely necessary (you're getting something shipped to your home.)

The woman shouldn’t have said that, but there was no reason why you couldn’t just give her your post code!

It's not about what OP said. It's about how the woman spoke to her. There was no need for it.

Of course she should have expressed herself politely. Feels a little concerning that you'd need 'permission' to give your husband's name and postcode to a charity shop, that really doesn't feel like the kind of decision that a spouse should need to ask about, given that the negative consequences could be precisely zero.. (possible chance of junk mail maybe..? But you could check that with the lady. Why are you not trusted to make a fairly simple adult decision..?)

@ohmydays37 all you had to say then was "I'm not a tax payer".
Why even mention your husband?

I honestly don’t see what you couldn’t just give your postcode? And what is it that your husband ‘deal’s with’? Post codes? Much ado about nothing.