To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

She was so rude! Even just to be so demanding as to expect you to do it. You were generous to take the things and in that case I do think that she, representing the charity, should have been grateful.

Because I was unloading from it. Not at all bizarre. I did say it has a sort of drive thru thing.

I said that I am not a tax payer (I get carers allowance because I care for them) and the look she gave me! It was definitely judgemental, just not sure if it was because I am benefit scum or was driving a reasonably decent car that clearly someone of my lowly status shouldnt have or what!! It is a rather naice charity shop, staffed by naice ladies

id imagine that’s your own insecurity @PyongyangKipperbang. How does she know which car you drive? Bizarre

I work in a charity shop. We ask donors immediately if they are registered for gift aid with us so we can label bags accordingly before passing them to the back room to be sorted and tagged. It is not meant to offend, or pry, just to obtain accurate information as gift aid is so valuable to us and we have to be scrupulous about correct tagging. Donors can show us their card or just give surname/postcode and our system does the rest. That's presumably why you were asked straight away, tho it does not excuse rudeness - but as another OP wrote, most staff are volunteers from all walks of life and some may not necessarily have a solid understanding of the system, or perhaps shaky social skills.

Please do continue to make the effort to donate... Charity shops raise valuable funds, avoid waste, provide employment and a social outlet for volunteers, as well as selling great stuff at great prices. Our shop has limited storage so sometimes we have to turn donations away (which we hate!). If that happens, please do return another time, or at least give to another shop rather than binning your goodies. (Just don't leave donations on the doorstep as invariably they are destroyed by weather/foxes etc and end up as trash.) I know it takes time to sort, bag and deliver your possessions, but we are grateful.

What is it with charity shops staff being rude?

I want to support the charity that supported my late husband. But whenever I drop stuff off (and it's always good quality, laundered and carefully packed stuff, which they can tell straight away) the staff just grunt at me and don't even make eye contact when I drop it off.

Oddly enough they're reasonably pleasant if I'm looking around or buying stuff, so why so dismissive when I'm giving them stuff to sell? I barely ever get a thank you.

I took some stuff to a charity shop for my parents recently and was asked about gift aid. I said that it was my parents stuff and she said "Oh just give me yours then it doesnt matter" I said that I am not a tax payer (I get carers allowance because I care for them) and the look she gave me! It was definitely judgemental, just not sure if it was because I am benefit scum or was driving a reasonably decent car that clearly someone of my lowly status shouldnt have or what!! It is a rather naice charity shop, staffed by naice ladies and allied to a particular Christian charity ironically, but I wont be taking stuff there again. Only went there as they have a sort of drive thru drop off point but fuck them.

Literally posted details of the retail gift aid scheme you sign up for about 4 posts above yours

which you give an address for. Perhaps you don’t work and pay tax but often when you pay for entry to somewhere which is a charity they ask for your postcode and name for gift aid. Its not a scheme you sign up for per se

They asked for a postcode not an address

GDPR. OP shouldn’t give out personal details about her his and without checking with him first. It’s not a decision she can make for him, it’s an individual decision. OP was correct and the shop worker was rude.

Literally posted details of the retail gift aid scheme you sign up for about 4 posts above yours.

You don’t sign up for gift aid. If you pay tax you just give your details and it happens. You sound aggressive and naive, ‘oh my husband deals with that’ rubbish

This.

IF that was an exact transcript of the conversation, I'd be inclined to assume (as a pp has pointed out) that the person behind the counter had limited social skills and was literally following instructions to request postcodes for Gift Aid, to which I would have answered "Sorry, I can't, I don't pay tax".

Your answer, quite frankly, was bizarre.

Some of the bigger charities have a system where you get put on the database once and then they can find you again every time (presumably using your postcode) so you don’t have to keep giving full details every time you donate/buy things. They then often send email updates telling you how much your donation raised through the sale of those items. Just because you (your husband) do gift aid it doesn’t mean they would be allowed to send you any marketing in any form if you have opted out.

It does sound like the staff member was rude though. If there was a misunderstanding they could have explained to you better.

I assume you were just embarrassed you don’t work and pay tax. Your response to a standard question was awkward and shows your discomfort.

It is pretty standard to be asked about gift aid in a charity shop…you weren’t ambushed. Also, there was no need for you to bring your husband into it at all. The transaction was between you and the shop. And please please never tell anyone your husband deals with that sort of thing when you’re asked for your postcode. Every adult and most children know their postcode.

Just say you don’t pay tax next time someone asks you about gift aid. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about why.

Here is an explanation from Marie Curie @WhiteCatsRock

But did she give you a bag, dear?

...

Sorry. Re-watching League of Gentlemen tonight.

No, that’s not true. I don’t know exactly how it works but when I donated toys to my local Barnardos shop they took details for Gift Aid, and now I have a card that they issued to me to show when I make future donations. It’s not just for cash donations.

Technically, the charity shops sell the items on your behalf and you then donate the proceeds. They can then claim gift aid on your donations.

I found that with some of our local shops, despite handing over some really good items to them in pristine condition - they would only accept donations on certain days and at certain times etc, and the staff/volunteers always sighed as if you were massively putting them out by daring to donate something. However, I then discovered our local mencap shop and they always seem genuinely grateful and very flexible, so all my stuff goes to them now.

The shop worker was very rude, but I also think it was odd for the OP to start talking about her husband. She could have just said no, I'm not able to gift aid the donation, sorry.

If someone asked for your address would you just hand it over?

These people are volunteers doing a decent job for free.

I really can’t imagine she demanded things of you. She just asked a straight forward question. All you had to do was say no I don’t do gift aid.

I also don’t donate to charity shops anymore. I have yet to find one where they actually seemingly want the donations! I also donate good items, and often in bags so they can’t judge before they see it, they just roll their eyes and look irritated at having to sort out more stuff. So now my stuff goes in the recycle or charity bins at the dump.

She was very rude. But, in this day and age, to say you need your 'husband's permission' seems a little sad and rather strange to me.