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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

435 replies

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 20:51

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

OP posts:
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7
Round3HereWeGo · 23/09/2024 07:45

@neodymium it's "to spite your face" just for future use

IfOnlyTheyWent · 23/09/2024 07:40

I don't know why people have been giving you a hard time for not telling the police what hotel you are in, a man had broke into your home and the police didn't come, that is the issue.
I hope you are helped today, good luck.

LLamddra · 23/09/2024 07:26

OP the reality is that you need to work with your letting agent/landlord to move.

Even if the police go and arrest your neighbour - it’s unlikely anything will happen quickly - eviction takes a lot of time, and despite what people assume - it’s fairly unlikely he will be immediately sectioned.

Even if your door is made secure, you’re still passing him in communal areas, and there’s a potential for him shouting at you from outside the door etc.

so I would be focusing on getting moved by your letting agent

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 07:22

Calamitousness · 23/09/2024 07:16

@Sparklfairy yes you need action on your neighbour. Hope that progresses today for you. Do you think an additional lock will be sufficient to give you security? Is your doorframe likely to give way as it sounds like an old wooden type door not the multi lock upvc type. Some flats have really flimsy doors that wouldn’t take much to breach never mind the lock giving way.

A thumb lock would at least mean he can't kick it in easily. The door frame would probably buckle eventually but I really don't think he could get in just by kicking it.

A few years ago I went out, just for two hours or so on a bank holiday. When I got back, the door to the building was wide open and I looked up the stairs and could see men's boots. It was the police.

They had broken into my flat with one of those battering rams (it also had a thumb lock). They remarked that it was really secure and took them ages.

The shop below me had called them because of water dripping through the ceiling. When the police refused to come out, saying they only would if there was a 'threat to life' they made up some story on the spot (I've heard the recording) that they heard screaming and crashing which meant the police had to attend, and obviously were concerned when there was silence from my flat.

Anyway, I would feel much better if I had something stronger than the current Yale.

OP posts:
MoreCardassianThanKardashian · 23/09/2024 07:18

Respectfully, the letting agent could aggravate him as much as the police. What is their plan? A slap on the wrist? Eviction? "Deal with the chap" is not a phrase I would use in this situation.

Calamitousness · 23/09/2024 07:16

@Sparklfairy yes you need action on your neighbour. Hope that progresses today for you. Do you think an additional lock will be sufficient to give you security? Is your doorframe likely to give way as it sounds like an old wooden type door not the multi lock upvc type. Some flats have really flimsy doors that wouldn’t take much to breach never mind the lock giving way.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 07:13

@FrauPaige yes all set. Hopefully by the end of today I'll feel a lot better about the whole thing, if the locksmith sorts a stronger lock and the agent is handling it, and the police too. It's been a horrible weekend.

OP posts:
FrauPaige · 23/09/2024 07:10

@Sparklfairy It was wise to get an appointment set in stone at a time of your choosing as opposed to simply be waiting around not knowing whether you get a knock on the door from the Police at 9am or 9pm - or worse still, miss the visit by being in the loo or at the shops and having your case de-prioritised.

All set for the meet?

Yirk · 23/09/2024 07:05

Good luck for today, I hope it brings some resolution to this situation.
Just stay safe.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 06:56

I got a reply to my complaint at 6.30am:

"I am discussing your situation this morning with your landlord and will deal with the chap in the flat above you and with the entire situation immediately I am in the office. I am already booked out to be at a property at 8.30am but should be back around 9.30am/10am."

So that's something, I guess. I notice that people are still thinking I'm delaying/being difficult, but there's something else they haven't considered.

A massive part of why I'm upset is because I'm completely powerless in this situation. He can come back at any time. He can break the current lock at any time. The police aren't doing anything, and just expect me to wait until they decide to attend to talk to me, and ask the same questions that they've already asked in previous phone calls...

I don't want to be in limbo anymore. I want to know that I can attend my appointment today at 11am and then it's done, rather than wait for days on end for them to randomly turn up or not turn up. People seem to be under the impression that they rang last night to say they were coming right then - they weren't, she explicitly said they were busy and she wasn't sure when they would be able to attend.

Just writing all that has made me teary and I don't cry, ever.

OP posts:
Miniopolis · 23/09/2024 06:51

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 23:18

But you’re only shooting yourself in the foot.

“You’ve failed me so now I’m going to make it even harder for you to help me as revenge!”

They won’t lose sleep over it OP, they’ll get off shift and go home to their regular lives. You’re the one who’s stuck in a hotel and frightened to go home, there’s no advantage to stringing it out even longer and will give them a preconceived idea that you’re a bit suspicious and uncooperative (I’m not saying that you are, just how it may be perceived).

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Unfortunately this.

jeaux90 · 23/09/2024 06:48

OP the police monitor their Twitter accounts so if you know the handle for them I would complain in there.

I was randomly attacked by someone with schizophrenia and I reminded him of someone else. Your neighbour sounds very unwell and terrifying for both you and other women.

MoreCardassianThanKardashian · 23/09/2024 06:46

Morning OP. I hope you managed to get some kind of sleep. I've been thinking about this post and it really is terrifying that in all likelihood, the police will do nothing and you will have to bear the full cost of moving to feel safe again.

When I see a person who reminds me of another, I think solely to myself "gosh, they remind me of..." I don't go and smash their door in. Do you know his name? Can you do some investigation?

Mammma91 · 23/09/2024 06:44

I’m speechless. What the hell. Could you go to the local police station? Go to your council and explain what happened and see if they’ll move you (if you’re a council tenant). God you must’ve got the fright of your life. Do you have any family near by? I’m so sorry OP.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 06:38

@SilverSam I really appreciate your post. This has to be carefully handled. The fact that the police have rung me a number of times and still not arrested him or attended... I'm not 'delaying' anything by getting a firm appointment, I'm probably speeding things up.

But of course, MN can be like this. Acting the authority on shit they know nothing about. But that's ok.

OP posts:
femfemlicious · 23/09/2024 06:38

MY GOODNESS!. this is so scary .

SilverSam · 23/09/2024 06:32

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:53

Thank you. It's actually quite distressing that people don't get that at all.

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I get it OP.

I've had a lot of problems with a drug using neighbour including abuse at the door and the police themselves knew that just rocking up at his flat a week later would likely aggravate things. In my case, instead of them just turning up at his door it was decided we would log everything and build a solid case first so it's less likely he'll get away with it when it escalates.

The difference with you though is that he has actually committed an offence that he can be arrested for on the spot, and he should have been. I think you've been let down.

They should have come round, on the night, and arrested him for that. If he has mental health issues he should be sectioned.

Don't get me started on having to live in proximity to people with mental ill health that isn't being managed because I understand that too. Some random nutcase threatened to shoot me on the bus a few months ago when I was with my toddler - I reported it on the spot in the hope they would send somebody to intercept the bus and arrest him. They didn't.

Apparently it's a routine thing in London, mentally ill people being disorderly, and I shouldn't have been surprised by it - according to MN actually!)

People who haven't lived in proximity and been targeted by somebody like this don't understand what it's like. You have to analyse every move you make for fear of making it worse, and yes sometimes that means not feeling able to do the 'obvious' thing in the eyes of people who are not connected to the situation.

I just wanted to say I understand, don't think you are 'odd' or a 'nutter' or any of the other shite you've been labelled here.

If there's any chance of you being able to move please do everything you can to make it happen. Easier said than done, I know.

Miniopolis · 23/09/2024 05:58

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:55

Yeah, because it makes total sense for the police to rock up almost two days later, but likely not actually do anything. Unless they arrested him on the spot, which I have no confidence they would do, they would have literally antagonised the situation that it was more likely he would escalate things.

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But going there just puts it off for another day and puts the onus on you, vs them?

andfinallyhereweare · 23/09/2024 05:31

Ask the letting agents to install a London bar. It’s stops people kicking the door in. Good luck- sounds scary.

Betterthanitseems · 23/09/2024 05:15

Aw what an ordeal I'd be the sake in your shoes although I think I'd want to move rather than him evicted as he will still know where you are unfortunately.

Hope meeting with police is successful

GuestFeatu · 23/09/2024 05:06

Neodymium · 22/09/2024 23:08

I agree refusing to tell them where you are is not really helpful. ‘Cutting off your nose despite your face’ as my mum would say. They should have come immediately yes, but refusing to tell them where you are now is just delaying everything further and putting them offside.

It's cutting off your nose to spite your face BTW :)

GuestFeatu · 23/09/2024 05:02

dawngreen · 22/09/2024 22:24

Well he has issues, and is a concern to women. Nuisance tenants get evicted. Any sane person don't go and kick a door down because you remind him of another girl.

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Yes but this is for police to act on not the landlord! How do you know it's the same landlord? And if it is, you know you can't evict someone overnight right?

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/09/2024 05:01

InsolentNoise · 22/09/2024 21:46

And what about this woman? She was in danger, they didn’t respond.
Too fucking bad if it’s a lie.

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This is fucking stupid advice.

This could result in them taking her LESS seriously in future, not more, putting her in more danger!

They show up, its patently not bloody true, they make a note of her making malicious complaints about him, disbelieve that the first incidents were real... next time she calls its on the system for her name/that address and so no one shows up in a hurry...

And yes, wasting police time isn't a smart move anyway.

Mumoftwochildrenand6furkids · 23/09/2024 03:03

Hope your ok it sounds terrifying and why on earth have the police not come!! My husband laughed at me because I brought pepper spray I live in UK and I read that many stories about weirdos that I am takeing no chances.

Ozanj · 23/09/2024 03:02

All of the above and in the meantime pour a bottle of tabasco into a large perfume / spray type bottle and keep it with you. Spray his eyes if he even thinks to harass you again.