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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

435 replies

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 20:51

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

OP posts:
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Caramellie3 · 23/09/2024 08:29

I would be making them aware he seems to have had some kind of mental health episode. Tell them you felt threatened etc. I was attacked by a man in a public place it took them a week to contact me. Can you move I would look into this.

betterangels · 23/09/2024 08:29

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Yes. There was still no need for that self-satisfied comment.

Lovelysummerdays · 23/09/2024 08:29

Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:26

I have insisted that a mortise lock (thumb lock) is installed to reinforce the door. My old door had this as an addition but the door was replaced and it wasn't reinstated. The locksmith was astonished, and said that he would insist that it's done on Monday. To be fair to him, I checked at b and q, screwfix etc, and only one type was available to collect the same day, so it's not straightforward.

If people were doing their jobs properly and showing willing, I would be more accommodating and friendly about it. The fact is that people are dismissing me as it being not their problem or not that big a deal. I think that if it was them in my situation, they would probably think differently.

I can’t remember what they are called but you get these steel bars that are put in the side of door opposite to lock. They are screwed into door and corresponding holes put in the frame. It doesn’t effect the functionality of the door and you don’t have to lock them. It does brace the door so with a couple of decent Chubb locks your door would be much more secure.

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:27

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betterangels · 23/09/2024 08:26

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What a shitty comment to make.

Autumnleaveswhenthegrassisjewelled · 23/09/2024 08:24

Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 08:06

Are you ok?

Hope things go better for you today OP.

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:19

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oakleaffy · 23/09/2024 08:19

@Sparklfairy It's not safe back there even with mortice locks- This man is clearly mentally unsafe and dangerous.
Is there any way you can move house?
Thank goodness you have the recording of him admitting it.
There are probably his shoe prints on the door as well?

IfOnlyTheyWent · 23/09/2024 08:17

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What is wrong with you @ledsafari
Do you not realise how serious this is that you are trolling OP?

MidnightBlossom · 23/09/2024 08:15

I would also suggest contacting your MP and getting this on their desk.

MidnightBlossom · 23/09/2024 08:14

Bloody hell OP, that must have been terrifying.

I really hope you get somewhere with the police. They should be taking this seriously. Evidence shows that you have to advocate hard - which is what you are doing. It shouldn't be necessary but it's so common that a woman ends up seriously injured or dead. Previous contact with the police changes nothing, after the event the force refers itself to IOPC, says lessons will be learned and so on, and so on.

GinAndGooseberries · 23/09/2024 08:13

Bloody hell op I'm so sorry police didn't attend when you phoned and said "a man has broken down my door and is in my home" that us utterly unacceptable. I can't see how that sentence wouldn't warrant a 999 priority call. Utterly terrifying.

Hope your appointment today goes well.

Victim support might be able to help? Even the emotional side?

Suzy Lamplugh organisation? Because it's this harassment behaviour now they might have advice?

GuestFeatu · 23/09/2024 08:10

Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 08:04

At the time I wrote that OP, I was hesitant to pay my rent (by card) when I couldn't live in the flat.

I've since discovered legislation that if the flat is uninhabitable, I am not obligated to pay rent.

So are you done with your passive aggressive comments? Because I just know you were working up to some bullshit that I have to pay rent regardless, when I don't. Maybe read my other posts before jumping in.

Be careful citing legislation without getting legal advice. I am not a lawyer but i would assume that the circumstances that make the property uninhabitable would need to be within the landlord's control to fix in order for that to be valid. A scary aggressive neighbour is not the landlord's fault.

GuestFeatu · 23/09/2024 08:09

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Mumsnet snobbery at its finest

ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:07

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Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 08:06

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Are you ok?

OP posts:
ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:06

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ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:05

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ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:05

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Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 08:04

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At the time I wrote that OP, I was hesitant to pay my rent (by card) when I couldn't live in the flat.

I've since discovered legislation that if the flat is uninhabitable, I am not obligated to pay rent.

So are you done with your passive aggressive comments? Because I just know you were working up to some bullshit that I have to pay rent regardless, when I don't. Maybe read my other posts before jumping in.

OP posts:
ledsafari · 23/09/2024 08:00

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AHobbyaweek · 23/09/2024 07:52

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. I think insisting for the appointment is much better in this case as now at least you have a set time and place rather than the limbo you mention.
I'm glad the letting agent is at least seemingly doing something now and your email was great. I really hope something is done quickly to make you feel safer.
If the police start using the words neighbour dispute, you can ask them to define it and go from there.

JohnofWessex · 23/09/2024 07:52

Do your agents manage the whole building or just your flat?

Clarefromwork · 23/09/2024 07:48

Round3HereWeGo · 23/09/2024 07:45

@neodymium it's "to spite your face" just for future use

😂 I had to Google as I wasn’t sure if it was me saying it incorrectly all these years!