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AIBU?

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Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

435 replies

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 20:51

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

OP posts:
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BenditlikeBridget · 22/09/2024 22:14

This is horrific, OP, i’m so sorry.

I don’t think from your email we are in the same county, otherwise i’d have offered you my guest room, where the scariest thing you will encounter (other than my morning hair) is a dog slobbering on your hand.

Complain and escalate everywhere you can. Copy in your MP, County Councillors, statutory bodies.

TheGander · 22/09/2024 22:13

I’m a landlord and if I had a female tenant who wished to leave early in the tenancy because of this is would absolutely understand and let them surrender. Discuss this with your landlord and make plans to leave. It’s not worth the stress.

Fannyfiggs · 22/09/2024 22:13

Good lord, this is horrific. I'm glad you're out of that building now. I don't have any further advice for you other than echo what pp have said about calling the police again.

I really wouldn't recommend getting a baseball bat but I was given some excellent advice once and that was to put a sock on the end of the bat so that if you ever had the misfortune of using it and your assailant tried to grab the bat off of you, they would grab the sock which would slide right off the bat, hopefully giving you time to get out of the situation.

Karmaisac4t · 22/09/2024 22:12

Please ring shelter for housing advice, they can provide you advice on your rights. Withholding rent is never normally recommended but seek advice from Shelter about this also.

I would turn up at the police station and demand to speak to someone. My neighbours had a verbal argument and police turned up the same day, so your being forgotten it seems at the moment.

id also recommend logging a complaint about the wait, won’t help the fact you’ve waited now but will get it on record.

keep receipts of all expenses your incurring for your stay so you’ve got proof to claim things back if you can.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, you deserve to feel safe in your own home.

I'm also sorry you are getting absurd advice, glad to see you have your head on straight though and can see through the daft advice.

oakleaffy · 22/09/2024 22:11

SeriouslyStressed · 22/09/2024 22:07

You can't buy pepper spray in the UK, but if you have aching muscles you can buy deep heat in a spray can

That's good to know.
It's appalling that people in UK can't defend themselves with sprays used in many other countries.

In UK they are termed ''firearms''.

But deep heat- cream I do use that on my back - didn't know they did a spray version.

Thank you.

Redglitter · 22/09/2024 22:10

I'm a Police Despatcher & I'm appalled noone attended. That would have been an immediate response call where I am.

I'd call 101 & say you wish to make a complaint and ask for a duty Inspector to call you to discuss it. That gets the complaints process started.

Ladyluckinred · 22/09/2024 22:09

Singleandproud · 22/09/2024 22:01

@EffortlesslyInelegant why are you spoiling for a fight?

OP isn't in her flat right now. I'm not saying it's good advice but if I was in her situation when I went back to my flat I would want some / any method of protection. It doesn't sound like OP is rolling in money so SD is a reasonable suggestion.

Edited

I get your point, it’s very scary and obviously OP has every right to protect herself, but remember, if he got hold of that bat, he’ll be using that to attack! I think the approach you’re taking at the moment is best OP, just stay away until he has been removed for your own safety. It sounds like you’re documenting all your evidence really well and you clearly take no shit. Sorry this is happening, it’s extremely poor duty of care from your estate agents, I’d take a guess and say they already knew your neighbour was a risk to others.

oakleaffy · 22/09/2024 22:08

A yale is bloody laughable.
You need two strong mortice locks, these are impossible to kick off, as they are embedded deep into the door, and the architrave.

Yales are hopeless. A few hard kicks and off they fly.

SeriouslyStressed · 22/09/2024 22:07

You can't buy pepper spray in the UK, but if you have aching muscles you can buy deep heat in a spray can

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 22:06

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

This is the police you’re referring to not some random fella she’s trying to scare into replying to a text - lying to them is illegal and will result in an arrest which will then completely overshadow the actual issue.

Theunamedcat · 22/09/2024 22:06

Ifoughthefight · 22/09/2024 21:56

Just leave the whole area and move to a nice little market town, out of a big city

How do you know they are in the big city?

pontipinemum · 22/09/2024 22:06

How scary! I hope the police do call out terrible that they haven't been yet.

MillicentMama · 22/09/2024 22:03

That horrifying OP!! Awful that there hasn’t been any follow up.

We’ve always reinforced doors and frames in our own house. Appreciate it would be very expensive (and may not get permission) to do this in a rental.

Banham replaced our locks and added steel reinforcing strips either side of the door frames. We’ve then added hinge bolts and rack bolts to both sides of the doors. Worth keeping in mind for future if you get your own place.

Our neighbours in London actually fitted a reinforced front door. It looked normal, but was secure.

I don’t think it’s good advice to get a baseball bat that could be used against you. Shame we can’t buy safety equipment like pepper spray in the UK!!!

flyingfar · 22/09/2024 22:03

You need to put in a formal complaint to the police stating you are vulnerable. You can do it over the phone and they will have to deal with it. I’ve done this when they played down a situation I found myself in and was called back very quickly and things were escalated. They are so awful at responding to calls by women. I wish you luck.

fashionqueen0123 · 22/09/2024 22:02

I’d call the police now to ask at what time tomorrow they will be coming as you are not able to go home.

dawngreen · 22/09/2024 22:01

Can you sofa surf at friends for a while maybe, and don't pay rent until he gets removed at least.

Singleandproud · 22/09/2024 22:01

@EffortlesslyInelegant why are you spoiling for a fight?

OP isn't in her flat right now. I'm not saying it's good advice but if I was in her situation when I went back to my flat I would want some / any method of protection. It doesn't sound like OP is rolling in money so SD is a reasonable suggestion.

LastNight1Dreamt1WentToManderleyAgain · 22/09/2024 22:00

I'm so glad you're safely in a hotel for the moment.

DannSindWirHelden · 22/09/2024 22:00

Ifoughthefight · 22/09/2024 21:56

Just leave the whole area and move to a nice little market town, out of a big city

Because nobody is ever mentally ill in nice little market towns, nobody outside a big city has ever annihilated their family or gone on a shooting spree with a shotgun.

EffortlesslyInelegant · 22/09/2024 22:00

And another one! Is Sports Direct open right now? This guy can kick a door in but you think a 'made in China' baseball bat swung by a woman in a flat where there's not enough room to swing a cat..Jeez I can't even process this nonsense!

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 22:00

Ifoughthefight · 22/09/2024 21:56

Just leave the whole area and move to a nice little market town, out of a big city

Do you really think this is the right thread to take the piss on?

Allthehorsesintheworld · 22/09/2024 22:00

Email everyone you can think of : your MP, local councillor, Police Crime Commissioner, Google complain to police your force and email them. Send same email to each.
Unbelievable police could ignore this, they’re a bloody disgrace.

Singleandproud · 22/09/2024 21:59

Stick the email in the Goblin Tools formalizer and use the appropriate setting that sends the message you want. Edit it a little so it sounds less AI and fix any americanisms

readingmakesmehappy · 22/09/2024 21:59

If your/his landlord is the council, then find out who your local councillors are and write to them as well.

Ifoughthefight · 22/09/2024 21:59

EffortlesslyInelegant · 22/09/2024 21:58

What? Tonight? Tomorrow after breakfast?

Some of the advice on this thread is beyond belief.

And when the poster takes our advice, will be unbelievably glad she took it

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