Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

435 replies

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 20:51

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Eloise768 · 22/09/2024 23:01

Hi lovely, I have changed my username but I am also in Medway/Kent. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Even if it’s to help search for cheaper hotels/provide some meals or something. No one should have to live like this. I witnessed someone break into a van a few weeks ago and the call handler actually asked me to go outside for more information, knowing the perpetrator had a knife.

Lifeomars · 22/09/2024 23:00

Bickybics · 22/09/2024 22:34

Sorry not read it all but can you contact your local MP, Councillor? I’m spoiled my local councillor is a star and would be all over something like this in her ward.

I was going to suggest contacting your MP, I know it will depend on how good they are. I am lucky, mine is female and very outspoken about women;s safety and mysogeny.

Redglitter · 22/09/2024 23:00

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:40

Because all I'm doing is giving them information that they then don't use. It highlights their failing, that they haven't attended when they should have. And now I have to come to them because they failed in their duty of care.

Show quote history

No its having the opposite effect. It's making you look awkward and uncooperative. Yes they should have come out at the time 100% they should have but they can't take any action without getting a statement from you. They could have been planning on coming to the hotel your staying at.

Refusing to say where you are isn't going to help

Thunderpants88 · 22/09/2024 22:59

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 22:56

Except it won't be linked to the police and everyone will know that??

Show quote history

I think you are seriously underestimating many people. Especially delusional people
off their faces in something

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 22:58

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:55

Yeah, because it makes total sense for the police to rock up almost two days later, but likely not actually do anything. Unless they arrested him on the spot, which I have no confidence they would do, they would have literally antagonised the situation that it was more likely he would escalate things.

Show quote history

But you're at a hotel so how would he even know?

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 22:56

Thunderpants88 · 22/09/2024 22:54

Please please get a ring doorbell and put a massive sign outside your door alerting people they are being recorded 24/7 and the camera is linked to the police

Except it won't be linked to the police and everyone will know that??

JohnofWessex · 22/09/2024 22:56

Singleandproud · 22/09/2024 21:58

If I were you I'd get myself to Sports Direct and pick up a base ball bat / hockey stick to keep under the bed that would allow you to protect yourself from a distance. Obviously hopefully you'd never have to use it and if you did aim for limb shots rather than head or internal organs but I would rather take the consequences of using it than being entirely vulnerable and defenceless

Edited

I am told that Maglights - large metal torches are better.

They are designed to double as a Police Officers Night Stick and as it is recommended you keep a torch in case of emergency you will have no issues explaining why you had one by your bed/living room/bathroom/wherever

Lifeomars · 22/09/2024 22:56

Who on earth are the two percent who think the OP is being unreasonable? The police inaction is despicable, this poor woman has been through a terrifying experience and no action is being taken to make her safe. This made for shocking reading, when are women going to be safe? Many years ago I was in the bath at about 10am when i heard a loud banging noise, without thinking it through, I wrapped myself in a towel and headed downstairs to find a man trying to break in through one of the downstairs windows, I called 999 and the police were there within minutes, he headbutted one of the police and ran off, he was never caught. I had to go to the main police station a few days later and go through some mug shots but to no avail, It was a horrible experience that left me very shaken, i dread to think what would have happened if the police had not turned up so swiftly,

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:55

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 22/09/2024 22:47

I don't get this. They wanted to come and speak to you about what happend you didn't tell them where you were 🤦

Show quote history

Yeah, because it makes total sense for the police to rock up almost two days later, but likely not actually do anything. Unless they arrested him on the spot, which I have no confidence they would do, they would have literally antagonised the situation that it was more likely he would escalate things.

OP posts:
YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 22:54

StarDolphins · 22/09/2024 22:44

This is terrifying op. I’d ring 999, he’s nuts & dangerous. He’s clearly v v mentally unwell. I would also speak to your MP. Feel so sorry for you, I’d be petrified. Wtf, why hasn’t anyone been, it’s disgusting.

This is terrifying op. I’d ring 999, he’s nuts & dangerous.

Which is exactly what the OP did?

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 22:54

Again not excusing initial failings - they absolutely should’ve attended immediately but you don’t need to go to them it sounds like they’ve said they’ll come to you and you’ve refused to say where you are?

They also can’t now act on anything until they’ve got a statement from you so don’t think there’s much sense in delaying it another night. It’s going to be even harder to get them to show urgency if you’re not showing it either.

Thunderpants88 · 22/09/2024 22:54

Please please get a ring doorbell and put a massive sign outside your door alerting people they are being recorded 24/7 and the camera is linked to the police

urbanbuddha · 22/09/2024 22:50

Redglitter · 22/09/2024 22:10

I'm a Police Despatcher & I'm appalled noone attended. That would have been an immediate response call where I am.

I'd call 101 & say you wish to make a complaint and ask for a duty Inspector to call you to discuss it. That gets the complaints process started.

This^

I don’t know about other police forces but the Met don’t attend if it’s mental health problems. It’s appalling. I suppose they would if blood had been spilt but kicking a door down, nah just refer it on to the mental health team in the morning. They come out a week or so later and the perp talks a good talk and that’s it.

fourdoorsdown · 22/09/2024 22:49

This country is a mess. No one realises our services aren’t working properly until we need them.
You need a restraining order from this man who means you harm. He needs to be sectioned under the mental health act. The police need to be reviewed for neglect. Contact MP, contact Home Secretary, contact police boss, contact newspapers. An apology from police for incompetence can’t make this right. Don’t accept one. Some mistakes are too big to brushed under carpet with apology. Demand justice to protect your life or the next persons who is ignored because someone can’t /wont do their job.

Saschka · 22/09/2024 22:48

Ifoughthefight · 22/09/2024 21:56

Just leave the whole area and move to a nice little market town, out of a big city

There are mentally ill people in nice little market towns too, you know.

fretaway · 22/09/2024 22:48

OP they are wanting to allocate some officers to come to speak to you in person. That is why they wanted to know your location. But if you feel safer going to them I understand.

That is appalling how they took so long to respond. We had our back gate kicked in and the guy was out in the street, they sent police down straight away to deal with him and came to check up on us after.

I hope that you get moved somewhere else very soon by the letting agent. Personally would want to see you get as far away from this man as possible.

FlamingoFloss · 22/09/2024 22:47

OP, I so feel for you. This is awful. Are you in Medway/Kent? We used to rent from Caxtons and they were shocking. I’m in Medway and if you are too and I can help please pm me

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 22/09/2024 22:47

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:40

Because all I'm doing is giving them information that they then don't use. It highlights their failing, that they haven't attended when they should have. And now I have to come to them because they failed in their duty of care.

Show quote history

I don't get this. They wanted to come and speak to you about what happend you didn't tell them where you were 🤦

StarDolphins · 22/09/2024 22:44

This is terrifying op. I’d ring 999, he’s nuts & dangerous. He’s clearly v v mentally unwell. I would also speak to your MP. Feel so sorry for you, I’d be petrified. Wtf, why hasn’t anyone been, it’s disgusting.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:43

Haggia · 22/09/2024 22:37

Totally agree. It’s not clear what she is looking for from them, but also sounds like she emailed rather than called on Saturday which surprised me. Maybe the first email was clearer on the detail.

Show quote history

Sorry I wasn't clear. This happened in the early hours of Saturday. I waited until their offices opened at 10am (closed at 4pm). The receptionist ordered a locksmith and got in touch (successfully) with the woman that manages my flat, even though she doesn't normally work weekends.

It was the receptionist that told me to email my agent with photos, the crime reference number, and the complaint. I did, at 11am. She didn't ever reply. My (friend) neighbour had to go into the agent offices anyway to return a spare key and asked what was happening and was simply fobbed off, which is what prompted my email.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:40

BiscuitlyBoyle · 22/09/2024 22:38

I agree. With you 100% but why not tell the police where you were?

Show quote history

Because all I'm doing is giving them information that they then don't use. It highlights their failing, that they haven't attended when they should have. And now I have to come to them because they failed in their duty of care.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:39

For those that have asked. It's Kent Police.

OP posts:
BiscuitlyBoyle · 22/09/2024 22:38

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 22:35

100% on your side here but out of interest why would you refuse to tell the police where you are after you’ve waited so long for them to get in touch?

Show quote history

I agree. With you 100% but why not tell the police where you were?

meiehwa · 22/09/2024 22:37

Hideous op.

Haggia · 22/09/2024 22:37

5128gap · 22/09/2024 22:15

Re your email OP. I'm not clear from reading it what you want them to do? You say you await a swift resolution, but don't specify what your expectation of them is. I think you need to spell out what exactly you see as the resolution. Are there other security measures you feel they should install, a stronger door, dead bolts? Are there other properties under their management you feel they could move you to?

Totally agree. It’s not clear what she is looking for from them, but also sounds like she emailed rather than called on Saturday which surprised me. Maybe the first email was clearer on the detail.

Swipe left for the next trending thread