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Original poster

Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

435 replies

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 20:51

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

OP posts:
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7
YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 23:21

Tartantotty · 22/09/2024 23:20

This is serious. Your neighbour is either on drugs, alcohol or has severe mental issues.

You must contact the Police again, say you are terrified that something will happen and breaking down a door is an offence.. Emphasise that you live alone and this is a serious breach of the peace. They should act immediately.

If at all possible go to stay with a friend or even book into a cheap b&b until the issue is resolved. And of course report immediately to your landlord/lady who should also step in as this is their property.

Could you at least attempt to read a few of the OP's posts?

Tartantotty · 22/09/2024 23:20

This is serious. Your neighbour is either on drugs, alcohol or has severe mental issues.

You must contact the Police again, say you are terrified that something will happen and breaking down a door is an offence.. Emphasise that you live alone and this is a serious breach of the peace. They should act immediately.

If at all possible go to stay with a friend or even book into a cheap b&b until the issue is resolved. And of course report immediately to your landlord/lady who should also step in as this is their property.

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 23:20

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 23:18

But you’re only shooting yourself in the foot.

“You’ve failed me so now I’m going to make it even harder for you to help me as revenge!”

They won’t lose sleep over it OP, they’ll get off shift and go home to their regular lives. You’re the one who’s stuck in a hotel and frightened to go home, there’s no advantage to stringing it out even longer and will give them a preconceived idea that you’re a bit suspicious and uncooperative (I’m not saying that you are, just how it may be perceived).

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Very well put.

alexdgr8 · 22/09/2024 23:19

movingonok · 22/09/2024 23:15

Sorry @Sparklfairy but your thinking is illogical. I'd be looking to be rational to the police when reporting someone who has acted so unhinged. Your behaviour could throw doubt on the situation as you're sounding odd.

i have to agree with this.
OP, please take note, we are trying to help you.
maybe you have been more disturbed, traumatised, by what's happened than you realise.
you may not have the objectivity at the moment to understand the impression you may be making.

Haggia · 22/09/2024 23:19

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 23:18

But you’re only shooting yourself in the foot.

“You’ve failed me so now I’m going to make it even harder for you to help me as revenge!”

They won’t lose sleep over it OP, they’ll get off shift and go home to their regular lives. You’re the one who’s stuck in a hotel and frightened to go home, there’s no advantage to stringing it out even longer and will give them a preconceived idea that you’re a bit suspicious and uncooperative (I’m not saying that you are, just how it may be perceived).

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Agree, it would all seem less credible.

Autumnleaveswhenthegrassisjewelled · 22/09/2024 23:19

Heya OP I used to rent from Caxtons and they weren't great. İ'd be writing your story all over the local residents Facebook group and on Kent police Facebook page also. I don't know if you're in a city in Kent, but the city I live in, I was told my an ex police officer he had to leave the force because police were told not to investigate a lot of crimes because they were having to keep the crime rates lower to make the city seem more appealing to higher earners.
I hope you get the help you need, it sounds horrifying.

spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 23:18

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:10

The reactions to this are so weird. They have failed in their basic duty to protect me, so no, I'm not telling them where I am, because it's the only place that I am 100% safe.

However, I have made arrangements that I will go to them tomorrow morning. I'm accommodating them, just not in the way they dictate.

This is their fuck up, not mine. It's on me to protect myself because they won't.

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But you’re only shooting yourself in the foot.

“You’ve failed me so now I’m going to make it even harder for you to help me as revenge!”

They won’t lose sleep over it OP, they’ll get off shift and go home to their regular lives. You’re the one who’s stuck in a hotel and frightened to go home, there’s no advantage to stringing it out even longer and will give them a preconceived idea that you’re a bit suspicious and uncooperative (I’m not saying that you are, just how it may be perceived).

SnowyAsh · 22/09/2024 23:18

This is dreadful, you must be feeling totally traumatised. Please put in a door cam and push your landlord to put in security door. I would also email your MP about the lack of police support. Is there any chance of moving away, I can't see that you will ever feel safe there again.

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 23:18

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:10

The reactions to this are so weird. They have failed in their basic duty to protect me, so no, I'm not telling them where I am, because it's the only place that I am 100% safe.

However, I have made arrangements that I will go to them tomorrow morning. I'm accommodating them, just not in the way they dictate.

This is their fuck up, not mine. It's on me to protect myself because they won't.

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But you're going to tell them exactly the same thing when you go and see them, that you'd tell them if you allowed them to come and see you at the hotel? 😳

Noodlehen · 22/09/2024 23:17

Im confused why you won’t tell the police where you are because they have a duty of care to protect you and haven’t - but surely you have a duty of care to yourself too and delaying the neighbours arrest even by a day may weaken your case against him.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:17

Neodymium · 22/09/2024 23:08

I agree refusing to tell them where you are is not really helpful. ‘Cutting off your nose despite your face’ as my mum would say. They should have come immediately yes, but refusing to tell them where you are now is just delaying everything further and putting them offside.

I'm not sure if you're aware, so I will explain.

I rang 999 just before 7am. Approx 6 hours later they then rang me from 101 and basically took a statement. There isn't anything that I said in that call that I wouldn't have said in person. They know everything now.

Then a few hours later a woman rang from the police, and said she was shocked that no one had attended. She ran it up the chain of command and came back to me saying it had been recategorised, and apologised.

Then at 10pm tonight, they rang and asked questions, essentially taking another statement. I am not being obdurate by refusing to give my location. Put simply, I don't trust the police anymore, and I will go to them to do whatever it is they're going to do (or not do). I dgaf if it's 'suspicious' or whatever else you want to label it. I will coordinate with them, but on my terms. They had ample opportunity to do their fucking job, and now my priority is me.

OP posts:
Haggia · 22/09/2024 23:16

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:10

The reactions to this are so weird. They have failed in their basic duty to protect me, so no, I'm not telling them where I am, because it's the only place that I am 100% safe.

However, I have made arrangements that I will go to them tomorrow morning. I'm accommodating them, just not in the way they dictate.

This is their fuck up, not mine. It's on me to protect myself because they won't.

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Is there someone else you are afraid of? Because no way in hell would they surely tell your freakoid neighbour precisely where you are.

Zonder · 22/09/2024 23:15

So scary. I'm amazed the police left you so long in a vulnerable position.

Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit · 22/09/2024 23:15

But telling the police where you are won't put you in danger.

This is a scary situation and I'm glad you got out of there. At the very least, your landlord needs to provide a quality lock on the door with three-point locking. Trying to replace like for like in this situation is disgusting.

movingonok · 22/09/2024 23:15

Sorry @Sparklfairy but your thinking is illogical. I'd be looking to be rational to the police when reporting someone who has acted so unhinged. Your behaviour could throw doubt on the situation as you're sounding odd.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:10

PinkyFlamingo · 22/09/2024 23:03

It sounds so scary but by refusing to tell them where you are you are acting a bit odd. It's the Police. I'm not sure what you mean by giving them "information that they don't use" as they can't come to see you at the hotel if you wont tell them where you are

Show quote history

The reactions to this are so weird. They have failed in their basic duty to protect me, so no, I'm not telling them where I am, because it's the only place that I am 100% safe.

However, I have made arrangements that I will go to them tomorrow morning. I'm accommodating them, just not in the way they dictate.

This is their fuck up, not mine. It's on me to protect myself because they won't.

OP posts:
movingonok · 22/09/2024 23:09

Not giving your location is weird and makes it look suspicious, cause it is!

They're the police. You want them to get a statement and act and now it's delayed.

This is just weird.

Neodymium · 22/09/2024 23:08

I agree refusing to tell them where you are is not really helpful. ‘Cutting off your nose despite your face’ as my mum would say. They should have come immediately yes, but refusing to tell them where you are now is just delaying everything further and putting them offside.

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 23:07

Thunderpants88 · 22/09/2024 22:59

I think you are seriously underestimating many people. Especially delusional people
off their faces in something

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And I think you're seriously underestimating how silly the OP will look to make such a claim.

Even Google will tell everyone that linking your door cam to the police is not a thing.

Best keep it honest, if she wants to be taken seriously.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 22/09/2024 23:05

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:55

Yeah, because it makes total sense for the police to rock up almost two days later, but likely not actually do anything. Unless they arrested him on the spot, which I have no confidence they would do, they would have literally antagonised the situation that it was more likely he would escalate things.

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But they'd come to you for a statement and then go and arrest him. You've delayed the outcome yourself now.

Thistooshallpass24 · 22/09/2024 23:04

@Elizo op is safe in a hotel, thankfully
You can see just the OP post if you press see all in the bottom right of her text.

PinkyFlamingo · 22/09/2024 23:03

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 22:40

Because all I'm doing is giving them information that they then don't use. It highlights their failing, that they haven't attended when they should have. And now I have to come to them because they failed in their duty of care.

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It sounds so scary but by refusing to tell them where you are you are acting a bit odd. It's the Police. I'm not sure what you mean by giving them "information that they don't use" as they can't come to see you at the hotel if you wont tell them where you are

PigeonLady · 22/09/2024 23:02

Fucking scary. Sounds like the next Valdo Calocane. He also did that to his neighbour.

I wouldn’t send that email. No matter how much protection is on that door it’s no good. You need to move. Get down to the agents and just cry at someone until they help you.

Haggia · 22/09/2024 23:02

Not sure the MP is needed. This could blow anyway if the named letting agent and named local police authority see this thread and the allegations being made about them.

Not telling the police where you are has fried my brain OP. Why would you want to make it more difficult for them? It’s not a bizarre tit for tat game 💁

Elizo · 22/09/2024 23:01

Can you stay somewhere else for now?