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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

435 replies

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 20:51

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Findingmypurposeinlife · 23/09/2024 02:59

This happened to me. I was also manhandled and had bruising on my arms. Received threats to my life. Police did nothing and literally left me with a broken door in the same building as the perpetrator.
9 years later and I am still not letting it go. I am in the process of requesting a 'Right to Review' as suggested by the DPS.
Please don't leave it. Take urgent action now

FrauPaige · 23/09/2024 01:35

Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:06

This is helpful. I'll mention this tomorrow. Thank you so much.

Show quote history

Hang in there

StyleSiren · 23/09/2024 01:17

Can you get the lockmith back to install a deadbolt and perhaps some extra bolts top and bottom of the door?

ReggaetonLente · 23/09/2024 01:07

SeriouslyStressed · 22/09/2024 22:07

You can't buy pepper spray in the UK, but if you have aching muscles you can buy deep heat in a spray can

Yep, I carry this when walking at night. In case of sudden attacks of muscle pain. Be careful not to get it in your eyes though. Would be quite incapacitating. 👍

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2024 01:04

samanthablues · 23/09/2024 00:46

I believe one thing is ‘youths causing property damage’ which is pretty annoying but not an immediate threat to someone’s life, OK, so that can wait. A mentally unwell stranger break into your door during a psychotic breakdown is a very dangerous situation and a police emergency, should be treated as such.

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I agree that it should be.

samanthablues · 23/09/2024 00:46

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2024 00:26

We've had incidents happen in my street during the night - when youths have been actively damaging property. No show from the police.

The one time they did come out straight away was when there was trouble during the day and the perpetrator was already known to the police.

Show quote history

I believe one thing is ‘youths causing property damage’ which is pretty annoying but not an immediate threat to someone’s life, OK, so that can wait. A mentally unwell stranger break into your door during a psychotic breakdown is a very dangerous situation and a police emergency, should be treated as such.

AngryBookworm · 23/09/2024 00:35

OP, this has sent chills down my spine. I'm so sorry. The police have been awful. This person should have been sectioned (especially with the neighbour who he admitted it to and heard your screams). Even if the letting agents can't evict him immediately they can absolutely fit all the locks (glad to hear one is going to be fitted but they seem a lot more relaxed than they would have been if it were their door). Even if it were a neighbour dispute I'm shocked that kicking someone's door in seems to be of no concern to the police. I shouldn't be though, I know. My thoughts are with you, OP.

notanothernamechange24 · 23/09/2024 00:35

@Sparklfairy just popping on to say I'm sorry this has happened to you and I hope you are ok.
I think posters are getting a bit confused and forgetting quite how traumatic it all must have been for you. I can totally understand you not wanting the police (or anyone) coming to your hotel room and knocking on the door. I can also understand that you probably don't want anyone in your safe space just now.

Take care and good luck with getting the situation resolved.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2024 00:26

samanthablues · 23/09/2024 00:17

This is a mentally unwell person breaking down the door of a woman living alone (for no apparent reason), this is someone’s life in danger, should have been treated as an emergency and the cops needed to have shown up right away. I’m not understanding why this was not treated as such, the glassy eyed man (who is either on drugs or having a psychotic episode) could have attacked the OP thinking she’s the ‘devil reincarnated’ and she could be dead by now. The whole thing makes no sense. Sounds like police negligence or maybe the OP was too polite during her initial call and made it sound like some random neighbour dispute (which was absolutely not).

Edited

We've had incidents happen in my street during the night - when youths have been actively damaging property. No show from the police.

The one time they did come out straight away was when there was trouble during the day and the perpetrator was already known to the police.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:26

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 23/09/2024 00:20

Sorry to hear all this OP. So worrying :( It got me thinking about my front door and when I was at a hotel this week. The thing in common - a safety chain that I could put on to ensure no intruder can get in. Is this something you could get your landlord to install as an extra safety?

I have insisted that a mortise lock (thumb lock) is installed to reinforce the door. My old door had this as an addition but the door was replaced and it wasn't reinstated. The locksmith was astonished, and said that he would insist that it's done on Monday. To be fair to him, I checked at b and q, screwfix etc, and only one type was available to collect the same day, so it's not straightforward.

If people were doing their jobs properly and showing willing, I would be more accommodating and friendly about it. The fact is that people are dismissing me as it being not their problem or not that big a deal. I think that if it was them in my situation, they would probably think differently.

OP posts:
soberholic · 23/09/2024 00:24

samanthablues · 23/09/2024 00:17

This is a mentally unwell person breaking down the door of a woman living alone (for no apparent reason), this is someone’s life in danger, should have been treated as an emergency and the cops needed to have shown up right away. I’m not understanding why this was not treated as such, the glassy eyed man (who is either on drugs or having a psychotic episode) could have attacked the OP thinking she’s the ‘devil reincarnated’ and she could be dead by now. The whole thing makes no sense. Sounds like police negligence or maybe the OP was too polite during her initial call and made it sound like some random neighbour dispute (which was absolutely not).

Edited

If she gets killed I'm sure the police will turn up - but for less serious completed crimes there's not enough police anymore.

I remember the Met police in London releasing a statement that if you get burgled - expect them (the Met police) no never show up. They were making the public aware that the service of turning up once a crime has been completed is now low.

Police are having to act reactively, not proactively.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:23

soberholic · 23/09/2024 00:18

OP, noone is against you on this thread, PP are dreadfully sorry about what's happened. However, perhaps because of your lack of sleep, your posts aren't making complete sense so everyone is trying to draw the dots together to understand.

We now understand that you didn't give the police your location because you're exhausted, it was late when they called and you just want a few hours of sleep knowing that the time you give the statement is decided, and you don't have to stay awake only to go through another no show episode with the police.

I will warn you - I'd be extremely surprised if anything came from this. I expect you'll give your statement, then nothing else will happen. I don't expect he'll be arrested or that the agency will do anything etc. This will all get logged as a statistic, then case closed.

Edited
Show quote history

That isn't a warning, but thank you. It's a fact. Nothing will happen.

I do, fortunately, have enough knowledge of the law, contract law, tenancy law, to have him removed or sue the agent.

I don't have any faith in the police now, but really, that's neither here nor there.

OP posts:
Peaceandquietandacuppa · 23/09/2024 00:20

Sorry to hear all this OP. So worrying :( It got me thinking about my front door and when I was at a hotel this week. The thing in common - a safety chain that I could put on to ensure no intruder can get in. Is this something you could get your landlord to install as an extra safety?

betterangels · 23/09/2024 00:20

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:53

Thank you. It's actually quite distressing that people don't get that at all.

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Some of us do. I wouldn't trust them, either. They've utterly failed you.

soberholic · 23/09/2024 00:18

Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:05

It's really strange, and I am sorry that you haven't realised this, but the thought that anyone can literally burst into my flat (or hotel room) at any time, with enough determination... it's kind of affected my ability to sleep.

Every single time I've dealt with the police, they haven't given me a time, it's more, where are you, we'll get to you when we get to you, depending on priority. ok fine, but I'm not hovering all night, especially at we're now 42 hours later and I have had no police response. So you can get to me when you get to me, or I can make an appointment to come to you.

Show quote history

OP, noone is against you on this thread, PP are dreadfully sorry about what's happened. However, perhaps because of your lack of sleep, your posts aren't making complete sense so everyone is trying to draw the dots together to understand.

We now understand that you didn't give the police your location because you're exhausted, it was late when they called and you just want a few hours of sleep knowing that the time you give the statement is decided, and you don't have to stay awake only to go through another no show episode with the police.

I will warn you - I'd be extremely surprised if anything came from this. I expect you'll give your statement, then nothing else will happen. I don't expect he'll be arrested or that the agency will do anything etc. This will all get logged as a statistic, then case closed.

samanthablues · 23/09/2024 00:17

This is a mentally unwell person breaking down the door of a woman living alone (for no apparent reason), this is someone’s life in danger, should have been treated as an emergency and the cops needed to have shown up right away. I’m not understanding why this was not treated as such, the glassy eyed man (who is either on drugs or having a psychotic episode) could have attacked the OP thinking she’s the ‘devil reincarnated’ and she could be dead by now. The whole thing makes no sense. Sounds like police negligence or maybe the OP was too polite during her initial call and made it sound like some random neighbour dispute (which was absolutely not).

RockyRogue1001 · 23/09/2024 00:10

You sound frightened to me, @Sparklfairy
And I'm not surprised.
I would be too in your shoes.

Our homes are our haven/safe space, or they're meant to be.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2024 00:09

I'll add that when I've been in stressful situations - particularly when dealing with the police - it's not always been easy to articulate my feelings. I can quite understand that on top of everything else the OP would want to have some agency instead of being dictated to when the police have already let her down.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:06

FrauPaige · 23/09/2024 00:03

Kent Police were assessed as 'Requiring Improvement' with responding to the public in the latest PEEL assessment.

https://hmicfrs.justiceinspectorates.gov.uk/peel-reports/kent-2023-25/

I think we are seeing that evidenced in this case

This is helpful. I'll mention this tomorrow. Thank you so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklfairy · 23/09/2024 00:05

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 23/09/2024 00:00

Oh I've been reading properly, and there's still a small chance they may have, or you could've given them a maximum time you were willing to wait up until, considering you're still Mumsnetting 2 hours after the call.

Either way, you're only just telling us now it was because you wanted some much needed sleep.

No idea why you didn't mention this when you were replying to all the other posters a while back, who thought you were being obstructive.

Show quote history

It's really strange, and I am sorry that you haven't realised this, but the thought that anyone can literally burst into my flat (or hotel room) at any time, with enough determination... it's kind of affected my ability to sleep.

Every single time I've dealt with the police, they haven't given me a time, it's more, where are you, we'll get to you when we get to you, depending on priority. ok fine, but I'm not hovering all night, especially at we're now 42 hours later and I have had no police response. So you can get to me when you get to me, or I can make an appointment to come to you.

OP posts:
YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 23/09/2024 00:00

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:57

You seem to have trouble with critical thinking.

I rang 999 when it happened. They didn't come out.

6 hours later they rang and said it might be today (Saturday) or tomorrow (Sunday). They still haven't come out.

At 10pm they called and I said I wasn't there. They wanted my location. But they have never, ever, committed a time until I made them, via making an appointment.

If you seriously, genuinely, think that they would have turned up as soon as I hung up the phone to my hotel, or indeed in the two hours since, you haven't been reading properly.

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Oh I've been reading properly, and there's still a small chance they may have, or you could've given them a maximum time you were willing to wait up until, considering you're still Mumsnetting 2 hours after the call.

Either way, you're only just telling us now it was because you wanted some much needed sleep.

No idea why you didn't mention this when you were replying to all the other posters a while back, who thought you were being obstructive.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:57

YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 23:53

I just think you're being deliberately difficult now, both with the police and the posters on this thread.

They rang at 10pm, which was nearly 2 hours ago. For all you know, they may have been able to come before midnight.

Anyway, hope you get it all sorted out tomorrow.

Show quote history

You seem to have trouble with critical thinking.

I rang 999 when it happened. They didn't come out.

6 hours later they rang and said it might be today (Saturday) or tomorrow (Sunday). They still haven't come out.

At 10pm they called and I said I wasn't there. They wanted my location. But they have never, ever, committed a time until I made them, via making an appointment.

If you seriously, genuinely, think that they would have turned up as soon as I hung up the phone to my hotel, or indeed in the two hours since, you haven't been reading properly.

OP posts:
spuddlesmcgoo · 22/09/2024 23:57

Sparklfairy · 22/09/2024 23:39

I'm sorry, but this is nonsense.

My lock has been repaired. Are you seriously saying that because they 'attended' the premises (or wherever I am) that they would instantly go and arrest him?

With respect, check your privilege. Because as far as I can see, if they went over to him and he straight up denied it, it's literally my word against his.

I had enough foresight to film the state of the lock, I have a witness in the form of the locksmith, and I have the recording of him admitting that it wasn't anything to do with me, I just 'remind him of someone'.

All of that has come later. Because I knew that the CPS would do sweet fuck all with what they had. I've had to build my own fucking case. Only now do they have enough evidence to prosecute.

Have any of you thought about what would happen if they came to my flat and then decided they WOULDN'T arrest him? That would fucking antagonise him to the point that I wouldn't come out of it alive. He's gone from knocking, to breaking the door in, with no escalation from me and no provocation. What's the next step from breaking the door in? Murder.

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OP it’s because you’ve written that you were frustrated with their non attendance but have now written that it’s good they didn’t attend because it would’ve antagonised him. You’ve also written that you were frustrated with their lack of contact but then have been uncooperative when they did contact. And also that you KNOW they wouldn’t have done anything, but yet you called them anyway?

I truly sympathise with what sounds like a terrifying experience but I really think you need to have a proper think about what you want the outcome to be, because at the moment it sounds like nothing is going to be good enough for you which will just lead to a drawn out non resolve which will only harm you.