How much money do you give for a wedding gift?

Not at all, that's not my opinion in the slightest. I couldn't give a flying fuck how much someone has paid for my meal, the gift would be the same regardless.

However, someone calling it crass is just ridiculous. That was my point.

So, working class young couple with a baby get married low key with a registry office do and a buffet their Mom's made in the local pub, you'd gift a fiver per person cos the food wasn't fancy enough for a large present? But a rich couple, owning their own home, great jobs who can afford a blow out wedding deserve huge financial gifts?

She may have been the one who said it, but she’s not the only one who thinks it!

So in your opinion someone having a posh wedding deserves a bigger present than someone with a low key wedding?

What a nasty transactional way of looking at a wedding celebration.

It’s not about reimbursement for the catering, it’s a gift freely given.

You are giving them a gift, not paying for your attendance. Would a friend want you to go into debt / your kids go without because MM tells you to cover your costs? Fifty is fine. She's aware you're a single Mom who isn't working and has three kids. £100 will likely make her feel uncomfortable

Honestly, when it was my wedding I'd have preferred to have got nothing than to think any guest had struggled to give a gift. A friend would never expect anything imo

@geordiegreek don't leave yourself struggling for a friend's wedding - a real friend will be happy to just have you there and know you're thinking of her. Give according to your circumstances.

You'll get a range of responses on here but most will be based on different posters' life circumstances and social norms, which may be different from yours.

Most couples at my wedding gave £50 (a few a bit more like £75) some travelled but a lot stayed at home. Whilst not super wealthy all my friends are very comfortable. We’ll usually give about £75 as a couple ( can easily afford to) so I think £50 max. is definitely fine - I wouldn’t expect it at all and particularly knowing individual’s circumstances.

Give what you want and can afford. Never heard of this 'cover your plate' phrase - how odd. Personally I'd rather buy a gift of my choosing - I know, very old fashioned.

This! It is infuriating.

£50 is more than enough OP, you do not need to cover the meal cost for your family, you are guests not the hosts.

I find this ‘cover your plate’ mentality infuriating. Being invited to a wedding OBLIGATES you to go, and inevitably involves the expense of travel, accommodation and new outfits. I don’t particularly enjoy weddings or any enforced social activities so I find them a chore. If people want to spend a fortune on their wedding day, that is up to them, no one is asking them to. They are choosing to host 60/100/200 guests and the expense is their choice. Guests should not be expected to cover the costs of being invited to something they might not even want to go to! The entitlement of ‘cover your plate’ pisses me off - if you’re getting married, cut your cloth according to your means and only have the wedding you can afford, without expecting guests to chip in to cover your costs.

I got married a couple of months ago, and got mainly cash gifts, varied between £0-£200. Couldn't care less about the amount to be honest!

If you're struggling, I'd get them a bottle of something they'd enjoy? A nice bottle of fizz or similar.

I would give £150 .

£30 if I’m invited solo and £50 if it’s me and my boyfriend going.

I’d nearly always do £100 per adult, I’d probably do an extra £50 if children are invited, so in this case £250

Though for some friends I’ve just mirrored what they gave when I got married, so more or less depending

If you cannot afford £100 - give what you can. Personally, would buy crystal glasses, nice photo frame or ornament in the traditional way. I don’t think any friend would judge you on your gift. They want you there to enjoy the day

Just be glad you don't live in Ireland... €300-€400 was the general expectation per couple at weddings I attended... and that was 15-20 yrs ago, god knows what it is now.

In your position I think £50-£100 is more than adequate.

You have rich friends. That doesn't make them great.

I'm in the north east too. If you can't afford £100 then give less, I don't think they would think bad of you. Getting outfits for your kids will be expensive too. I'm sure they will just want you to attend and help celebrate

It's so rude to say how much you spend per person for a wedding! It's like telling guests "see how much we spend, you better give me alot". Never heard anyone do this! If 100 is a stretch for you I would give 50 with a card. Some people at our wedding gave nothing, some a house gift, others from 20-500. We did not care and thanked everyone for coming!

£50 a couple was typical at our wedding, £100 only from close family. Some people gave us £25, some nothing, some donated to charity (all fine as we didn’t ask for any gifts)

’Cover your plate’ is not UK etiquette, you’re a guest and choose what you can afford to give.

What you’d pay to eat at a nice restaurant is also no comparison. On the rare occasions DH and I eat out, we choose the restaurant, we choose the food, we choose the company. A wedding meal is normally pleasant enough but a set meal you have no choice over. Plus you’re often paying for hotel rooms, travel, new outfits, sometimes childcare and time off work (last 2 weddings we’ve been to have both been mid week and required 2 days off work).

So ignore some of the crazy amounts suggested on here, especially from those not in the UK, and give what you can afford, I’d say £50 was absolutely fine

I genuinely don’t understand when this became a thing?! I can assure you this isn’t wedding etiquette- certainly not in the UK.
Astounded by the some of the suggested £££ amounts here. & the ideas that a bride & groom would expect it - wow!
All I’d expect would be a beautiful day with people I love - a day that I’d expect to pay for 😆

I'm not sure you understand my point, but anyways. Agree to disagree 🍸

If you'd given me £400 I'd have been embarrassed! You'd have given over £200 more than the next most generous guest which was my Mum! Amounts that size are insane to me. You definitely don't need to cover your plate. I don't factor that in to my decisions at all. Why should someone rich enough to have a flash wedding deserve more presents?

Yes “cover your plate” is the decent thing to do