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Original poster

Why have a 'gender reveal' party if you clearly want a specificly a boy or girl?

90 replies

Healingsfall · 22/09/2024 16:48

Couple I know who's baby is due in January had a "reveal" if boy or girl this weekend. He found out at the scan and planned a reveal for his partner and family/friends.

The last few months she has been saying they think it's a boy, he (her partner) would love a boy etc and they are excited to find out what they're having.

They filmed the reveal and posted it on Instagram, and he looks despondent from the outset, and as they pull the confetti tube things and it pops with pink confetti you can see the disappointment on both faces whilst trying to mask disappointment and act happy. If anyone is a Sex and the City fan it's like watching miranda pull the "excited " face when saying it's a boy!

Clearly, all the people in said video thought it was going to be a boy because their reactions as the pink confetti is displayed wasn't a complete reaction of joy, more surprise, and delayed congratulations. It was really weird.

I found out if boy or girl at the birth of both my children and remember being completely thrilled each time. I can't imagine reacting so deflated at the sight of pink or blue confetti having built everyone up what we thought they might be?

OP posts:
Isitjustme20 · 22/09/2024 19:32

Blanchemange · 22/09/2024 17:17

I saw a reveal on instagram or facebook where the dad actually had a tantrum because the confetti came out of the balloon pink…

hate those videos of the male partners clearly disappointed they are not having a son, huge red flag!

Allswellthatendswelll · 22/09/2024 19:32

Gender parties are obviously naff as anything but I'm finding out at 20 weeks. I will be happy either way but I know myself and I am an impatient person. I also want to know how much I need to sort through the 500 bags of baby clothes I have from DS!

People can be so weirdly pious about not finding out. I suppose it's the delayed gratification element. But it is still a surprise just a surprise earlier!

Original poster
Healingsfall · 22/09/2024 19:27

FloordrobeIsGoingToGetME · 22/09/2024 19:13

I am no fan of public gender reveals, But Can you really not understand that people might think differently to you, and need to prepare a different way to you?

Goodness me, how single track you must be.

I found out with my second as she had an anomaly that meant regular scans and monitoring from 20 weeks. As she was having difficulties from then it felt helpful to bond, knowing her sex and therefore her name.

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Surely needing to know the babies sex so you can bond with them due to an anomaly is different to needing to know so you can paint the baby's room blue or buy specific coloured clothing

OP posts:
YogaForDummies · 22/09/2024 19:14

'Oh no, the baby will be female and therefore more likely to outlive me' 😂😂😂

FloordrobeIsGoingToGetME · 22/09/2024 19:13

Healingsfall · 22/09/2024 18:37

The whole "we needed to know in order to prepare " speech is also bizarre.

A baby is a baby, you need nappies, feeding and somewhere for them to sleep. The decoration of a room or clothes you put them in doesn't matter to a baby, the pink or blue is entirely your preference.

I am no fan of public gender reveals, But Can you really not understand that people might think differently to you, and need to prepare a different way to you?

Goodness me, how single track you must be.

I found out with my second as she had an anomaly that meant regular scans and monitoring from 20 weeks. As she was having difficulties from then it felt helpful to bond, knowing her sex and therefore her name.

bridgetreilly · 22/09/2024 19:12

I think you can stop after ‘Why have a gender reveal party?’

Reugny · 22/09/2024 19:10

NPET · 22/09/2024 17:10

The first part of your post I'd totally agree with.
But the second - well it may matter to some people.

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The only time I can see people I know caring is if there was an sex linked inheritable disease.

But then they wouldn't be doing a "gender reveal" anyway.

Btw how can a fetus have a "gender"?

Parker231 · 22/09/2024 19:05

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 22/09/2024 18:58

Because, although I would put a boy in pink I wouldn't put a boy in a dress or something overly frilly or "girly" so I wouldn't buy anything like that unless I knew I was having a girl.

I've got boys and girls so I don't prefer one over the other.

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I just bought babygros where I liked the colour and pattern - boy or girl wasn’t relevant.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 22/09/2024 18:58

PenelopePitStrop · 22/09/2024 18:51

I didn’t want tons of either pink or blue. And if you do see nice stuff, just get it. What does it matter what colour it is?

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Because, although I would put a boy in pink I wouldn't put a boy in a dress or something overly frilly or "girly" so I wouldn't buy anything like that unless I knew I was having a girl.

I've got boys and girls so I don't prefer one over the other.

ChocolateLemsip · 22/09/2024 18:56

@Healingsfall I don't get the scenario? He found out at the scan but the mother didn't? How? (And more importantly, why?!)
And then he planned the party even though he was disappointed it was a girl? And he let the mother go along for months thinking it was a boy and getting excited?
Wtf is wrong with him?

thistimelastweek · 22/09/2024 18:56

PenelopePitStrop · 22/09/2024 18:52

A sex party sounds SO much more fun though

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A bit embarrassing when you turn up in your bondage gear.

PeachRose1986 · 22/09/2024 18:56

Why have one, anyway? So tacky. And imagine feeling any kind of ‘disappointment’ at (what should be) such a special time.

PenelopePitStrop · 22/09/2024 18:52

Blanchemange · 22/09/2024 18:50

And that explains why people call them gender reveal party’s, because only the wrong sort of guests would turn up if you invited them to your sex party 😂

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A sex party sounds SO much more fun though

PenelopePitStrop · 22/09/2024 18:51

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 22/09/2024 18:49

@Healingsfall I know babies need certain things and anything else is the parents' choice but if you know and you do happen to see items you'd like you can buy them. They might not still be available after the birth.

I didn’t want tons of either pink or blue. And if you do see nice stuff, just get it. What does it matter what colour it is?

Blanchemange · 22/09/2024 18:50

SonjaBarkerFinch · 22/09/2024 18:46

Why do people have a gender reveal party?

Because for some women 9 months of pregnancy doesn’t bring them enough attention.

It should be called a sex party anyway.

And that explains why people call them gender reveal party’s, because only the wrong sort of guests would turn up if you invited them to your sex party 😂

PenelopePitStrop · 22/09/2024 18:49

Find out at the scan of not as you prefer, but no need to pollute the planet with helium balloons, smoke, plastic props etc.

And it seems to fuel sex stereotyping before the poor kid is even born.

I didn’t find out the sex before birth for various reasons, but if I had I wouldn’t have let anyone know that I knew , didn’t want to hear the barrage of sexist crap that gets spouted.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 22/09/2024 18:49

@Healingsfall I know babies need certain things and anything else is the parents' choice but if you know and you do happen to see items you'd like you can buy them. They might not still be available after the birth.

MelainesLaugh · 22/09/2024 18:49

And let’s not forget scans can be wrong. So you go through all that cheesy crap and then have to tell people that Alice is actually Andrew or whatever.

It just seems to be another excuse for presents. Baby Shower - here’s a present. Gender Reveal - here’s a present. Baby actually here - here’s a present.

SonjaBarkerFinch · 22/09/2024 18:46

Why do people have a gender reveal party?

Because for some women 9 months of pregnancy doesn’t bring them enough attention.

It should be called a sex party anyway.

Parker231 · 22/09/2024 18:41

Sheknowsaboutme · 22/09/2024 17:47

i absolutely detest them. Who do people want them? What is their point?

And me - there’s no need to find out in advance of giving birth - you can’t change the outcome!

Original poster
Healingsfall · 22/09/2024 18:37

The whole "we needed to know in order to prepare " speech is also bizarre.

A baby is a baby, you need nappies, feeding and somewhere for them to sleep. The decoration of a room or clothes you put them in doesn't matter to a baby, the pink or blue is entirely your preference.

OP posts:
PenelopePitStrop · 22/09/2024 18:30

It’s Sex Reveal.

And tacky, grabby, attention seeking and the cringiest cringe ever. I don’t know anyone in RL who has done it.

Ugh, and the whole pink - blue thing.

Zanatdy · 22/09/2024 18:24

Healingsfall · 22/09/2024 17:19

I guess it's everyone's individual preference, but for me, the best thing after giving birth (my babies wanted to stay in as long as possible and go through long labours 🤨) was the excitement of finding out their sex

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I do agree, and I had 2 surprises with my boys. But I became quite fixated on knowing the gender once others on my online baby group started finding out so we caved and found out. I do think I sometimes ruined the best surprise I’d have ever had, but I don’t think I could have gone another 20wks not knowing. Well I could have, but it was my last pregnancy and I didn’t want to spoil it wondering. I’d have loved another little boy just as much of course and I’m very close to my adult sons, I just wanted to experience a daughter. Must add my boys were a lot easier!!

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 22/09/2024 18:22

I found out the gender of 5 of my children at their births. It was only when the NHS started offering 20 week scans that I found out my sixth child's gender. I actually felt a bit disappointed about ruining my surprise but it did give me a chance to prepare and buy blue bits and pieces (didn't need much after having 5 children already).

Jc2001 · 22/09/2024 18:20

Circumferences · 22/09/2024 16:50

All I can say is why on earth does anyone have a gender reveal anyway
Literally, who else cares what sex your baby is. No one. That's who.

Haha exactly this. No one cares except the parents and they know already.