He goes away, I can’t

Basically there is no way I can go. We have plenty of money so the only issue is me going without him

What do you mean you can't go?

So I assume you will be changing the locks next time this one rule for you, one for me, double standards bastard, fucks off on holiday again?

marriage is a scam for so many women.

what is the point of such a relationship, for some man to tell you what you can and can't do??

Get legal advice about finding all the money, pension money, etc and leave him. This is not a healthy relationship.

We travel on different trips a few times a year due to different work commitments- not ideal but great for our child- he gets more overseas trips!

Basically there is no way I can go

Why not?

Unanimous answers dear OP. We have just one tiny shot at this precious little life, make a solicitor appointment and get fast tracking a divorce. There is no time left to waste what's left if your time on earth reducing your life to this amount of pure and horrific double-standard-control freakery - get out and away with you to your travels and your next shot at a life worth living ♥️ go for it love!

I thought you were about to say you've got 2 kids under 5 and he needs to lose out on work to look after them. But you don't mention kids so you've got nothing holding you back. I agree with the above poster, laugh in his face and book your trip. What exact reason does he give. I have 2 kids under 10 and it's difficult for me to go away on my own as DH would have to take leave. When I'm your age he will be happy for me to go whenever I want as our youngest will be 20. Please don't let a man control your life like that.

Am I wrong to be annoyed at this attitude.

No, you’re not wrong. YANBU.

Quite.

Direct conversation required - not inuendo and interpretation

Talk to the man!

Who made him the boss of you?

Of course you're not wrong. You are married to a selfish, controlling bastard, though. Go on that trip.

I don't see anything in your post which indicates that there's no way you could go.

What would happen if you did?

@Aspire5253 you should be angry and insulted by his attitude not just annoyed. And BTW it's illegal for him to prevent you from entering your own property.

Do you earn your own money? Do you have access to it that he cannot access? So you have your passport somewhere secret?

You should go away and change the locks before you go!

He’s controlling.

Divorce him and spend the rest of your fit life travelling and having fun.

You don’t want to get to 70/80 and have health problems and regret not doing these things sooner.

61? Are you ill? You could have 33 more years.
Go and let him change locks
Then see a lawyer and divorce him
He is not your keeper

What?

You know you don't need your husband's permission to go and enjoy yourself, right?

Or does he think he has some kind of ownership over you?

Jeez.

But how can he stop you from going away?

Im 60 and go away with my girlfriends and have also gone to America to visit friends on my own . We have been married almost 30 years and my husband is fine . We have gone away before together but he likes to go to festivals which are not my thing . It’s only a long weekend am I’m fine with him going .
I think we need to know WHY your husband won’t let you go ? Is he the jealous possessive type? Is he genuinely worried about you ? Is he is bad health himself, causing him to feel insecure if you go? There could be a lot of reasons why he doesn’t want you to go. It boils down to trust at the end of the day and you really need to get to the bottom of it as if he doesn’t trust you , it could be he’s not trustworthy and turning his own negative ways on you . You need to explain a little more before anyone can give you proper advice . You need to have your freedom in a marriage , and 61 is not old . I’m already planning my next girly holiday . It’s what keeps me going ! We need to have a life too x

Outrageous!! And you're not old at 61. I went to South America and Antarctica on my own last year and I was 69!! DH was pleased he didn't have to go with me.

@Aspire5253

What is actually stopping you? Are you afraid of him? At 61 I'm assuming you've been married a long time so has he always controlled what you do or is this something new?

Do you not have access to money? Do you really think he'd change the locks? BTW, even if he did he'd have to change them right back. You can't lock someone out of a jointly owned home. Are you afraid he will hurt you, either verbally or physically?

DH and I have been married for 3+ decades. He in no way would tell me what I could or couldn't do, nor does he control our finances. If he tried that, I would leave. Have you thought about leaving? If so, maybe we can help you find a way

Wow. At first I thought you had young dependents and was wondering why he could head off and you couldn't go, but you've no dependents I'm assuming? Life is too short for his shit. Please go!