He goes away, I can’t

He didn't miss you so much that he couldn't go to Europe.

And he should learn to manage his anxiety and have faith in his partner's abilities.

Sorry he doesn’t sound an amazing man. He sounds selfish and controlling.

He doesn’t miss you when he goes away then?

Because people are telling her to leave him?

When he is threatening to throw HER out if she visits friends in Canada?

So, what does that make him?

Selfishness is a bad place.

He will miss you and worry about you but if you have similar concerns about his solo travel you are expected to manage your emotions like an adult rather than turn into a control freak.

He doesn't know how he would cope without you? That's a shameful and pathetic admission of incompetence from a grown man.

Tell him to get a grip.

Has he got it into his little brain that it will be dangerous?
It's Canada ffs, not Yemen.

He will miss me,
But doesn't miss you when he is away. And doesn't care that you might miss him when he goes on holiday. Missing someone for a couple of weeks is a wholly survivable experience.

be worried about me,
But isn't worried enough about you not to leave you on your own, or care that you might worry when he is away....but spurious anyway. It is not rational to be so worried about a grown capable adult going to Western country that is not at war that you forbid then to go. He should take responsibility for his own worrying: you have a right to make your own decisions.

worried he won’t cope without me
Then he should be ashamed of himself (given that there is no indication of any particular conditions that make him less able to manage alone). Or he could use some of the coping strategies he uses to cope without you when he gallivants about.

It’s not like you’re 17 and are asking your dad to fund your gap year. I can’t see why he gets to have a vote here, and as for saying it would end your marriage? Oh come on! He’s been a complete donkey.

Oh course you could go - if money is no object.

But why aren’t you travelling together too?

Please don't suggest she goes to Canada with him....

He’s not amazing if he doesn’t encourage you to live your life to the full!

He will miss me, be worried about me, worried he won’t cope without me etc

THIS IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

It’s normal for spouses to miss each other if the other one is in another country far away. But it shouldn’t be held against you in a way to make you feel guilty.

& of course he would cope without you. He’s being a selfish arsehole man child!

Why can’t he ‘cope without you’?

He's not that amazing if he says you can't go and he'll change the locks! Jeez

Does he not fancy Canada?

That’s a relief to know he is an amazing husband who does a lot for you. I would just book the holiday for yourself regardless. It should all work out fine eventually and he will come to terms with his concerns, knowing that travelling is something you really would like to do. I would not wait for him to give his permission before you book, because it will not likely come.

When my mother was your age she spent 6 months travelling Australia and NZ on her own. She had some amazing experiences and even found herself on one of those outback tours with young people. They really looked after her, which was very sweet.

When I am in my 60s I want to be travelling! It’s a great time to do it.

Perhaps he doesn't miss op when HE is away because there's someone else with him that renders op unnecessary for the duration...

I bet when he tells you he would miss you and find it hard to cope without you it pulled at your heartstrings. I read it as he didn't want his cook, cleaner and support human to be absent... a bit like when the washing machine packs up for a week.

Go to Canada. Catch up with your old friends. Travel. Enjoy yourself. Not fair for your DH to have double standards and make this feel difficult for you.

So you admit he is selfish, and yet call him amazing. He is basically living his life, enjoying the sights of the world but keeps you locked at home because he cudn't cope without you or will miss you? That is beyond selfish and insensitive. How do you 'cope' when he is away? Has he given any thought to that?
Also, anyone who jokes about changing locks, just because you suggest a solo holiday, is mean.
As hard as it might be, you need to stop defending his actions. You are only 61, why are you intending this to be your last hurrah? Will your husband do the same and stop travelling?

Just go OP. It’s not fair he gets his trips on his own, but you don’t. He’s being v unreasonable, but you know that. You didn’t mention how amazing he was on your first post. But added this when lots of PPs mentioned divorce and controlling behaviour.

Did you want him to go with you, out of interest, or prefer alone? Does he ever invite you on his European jaunts?

Am I wrong to be annoyed at this attitude.

You are not wrong to be annoyed. You are really very wrong indeed to put up with this and allowing him to have the power to stop you.

Why would you put up with that?

Who died and made him the boss of you?

worried he won’t cope without me etc

Yuk.
Presumably you've told him that you're not a paedophile and so if he's such a child that he can't cope on his own, there won't be any more sex?

No need for divorce but you still need to go on your holiday

Your original post asked if you should be annoyed by him stopping you from going to Canada. The answer is yes.

No divorce needed, just go to Canada, why wouldn't you?

I wondered that. Wouldnt be the first man to think he wife must be playing away because thats what he does.