Why do so many women blame peri menopausal for their moods?

I like how the op of that post was annoyed about everyone ‘having an excuse’ while using peri as an excuse to be judgemental 😂 I see both sides. I get horrendous PMS and am currently all up and down with breastfeeding/postpartum hormones. I feel ‘run’ by my hormones most of the time! I acknowledge it and apologise if I’ve been a dick, and I don’t use it as an excuse to be more of a dick!

I was never peri menopausal, I was just a moody cow. I had a hysterectomy that brought on the menopause and i was an even moodier cow, i own my moods but not every woman can, they will come up with any excuse for being mardy. It would seem the vast majority of British women become peri menopausal at aged 21.

Why were you annoyed at him?

YANBU

It does affect your mood but that is absolutely no excuse to act like a bitch.

Same as when you come on your period.
Some women really struggle to regulate their emotions but again it’s no excuse to be a dick.

Every person you meet that is rude to you is likely because they’re stressed about something - but that is absolutely no excuse.

We are responsible for our own behaviour.

If we are feeling short tempered then we should try and remove ourselves from the situation if we cannot regulate our emotions.

We shouldn’t have to pay the price because you are in a bad mood.

I mean yes I'm allowed to be angry but every month I get angry, then burst into tears and say "I don't know what's wrong with me" and get really stressed about it
Then I check my phone app and without fail I'll be due on
Otherwise I would think I was going mad because it's so sudden and so unlike me

I'm way past the age of peri and menopause, being almost 76.

I didn't go down the usual menopause route as I has a total hysterectomy in my late 40s and was on HRT for a number of years.

I don't have mood swings but I can, and do still get angry about a number of things: politics (particularly Brexit), injustice, the treatment of women and so on and so on; the list is long.

What I have found though, is that as I've aged I've become more comfortable with expressing my opinions.

When I was younger I would bite my lip, more often than not, in order not to offend or upset anyone. And often if I did voice my opinions they might be ridiculed, or I'd been seen as a nag or harridan.

I think a lot of women have been made to feel that they need to offer a reason for having an opinion sometimes; almost as an apology for their thoughts, otherwise they might be called a 'Karen'.

Well yes. You can be pissed off because you're pissed off and you can be pissed off (or extra pissed off) because hormones are affecting your mood. Either may be understandable. But what the OP really seems to be saying is 'Stop talking about how menopause affects your mood. It's natural, and therefore nothing to complain about, so shut up. Also, you're probably just pretending it's your hormones when actually you're just a horrible, angry woman. So doubly shut up.'

I agree to some extent, but like clockwork every month the week before my period I will rage at every little thing it's awful. Hormones causing mood swings are a real thing unfortunately!

I'm 51 so probably peri, no symptoms yet though and I don't have any rage. I don't live with men though, so I think that's probably an advantage.

I was mildly annoyed at work though, when a male colleague referred to a female colleague who forgot something. She blamed peri, and he repeated it. I was annoyed with him, not her

Are you actually serious?

When was peri menopause invented/discovered or whatever. I mean when was the term coined. I'm late sixties and I don't remember anyone talking about it. The first I heard about it was on Mumsnet.

Because the rage I felt in perimenopause was like nothing I had ever experienced. And was uncontrollable. It wasn't being 'moody' it was debilitating anger.

Well said, missamyp
Of course some struggle more with menopause than others, even though it's a natural process, and yes it can affect moods quite severely, but that hardly justifies taking it out on others

FWIW I'm another who didn't have an easy time of it, but took the view that I have faults enough without making things even worse - though admittedly that was years ago, before all kinds of neurodivergence became the subject of armchair diagnosis

Missed word

I have had peri rage - this led to a 6 month separation with my partner and literally wanting to blow up my life. It was eye opening, as I am usually just the grin and bear it type of person, and it turned me into a crazy ‘this is not right - I need to sort this out immediately and with anger!’

Then we had counselling and got back together.

I am wondering if it will come back after having a baby recently. Scary days.

Convenient scapegoat. It happens for everything.

Somehow I knew neurodivergence would be brought into this.
🤦🏻‍♀️
FML.

Although I should mention that neurodivergent women typically have a hard time with depleting oestrogen levels as this restricts dopamine transfer across the brain.

This is like something my mother in law would say, from the same book as:

”I didn’t have any pain medication during child birth”

”periods are natural, just get on with it”

sigh.

To an extent I agree with you. I have a friend who is a bit of a bitch (friend of a friend really) and since being diagnosed ADHD she'll rant at us then go ' I can't help it - ADHD' so I'm kind of sick of bad behaviour being blamed on something.
But...I am peri (diagnosed through blood tests last year) and I'm a different person than I used to be. So I can't deny that my attitude to things and people has changed as a result.

👏👏👏👏👏👏😂

I disagree with everything written here.

It is well known that for most people menopause onwards you need to eat less and exercise more.

A lot of the responses here just highlight how insidious misogyny is.

I sort of disagree. Humans will always be slave to their hormones, that’s what they are there for – to drive behaviour. And some people have higher sensitivity to them than others.

Lucky you

I don't know about moods (mine went easily), but I am often flummoxed by the amount of women on MN who blame meno for their body weight.

Oh nice. Throw in a bit of fat shaming as well.