Why do so many women blame peri menopausal for their moods?

That's interesting. I was thinking the other day that older women have a serenity about them. I look forward feeling less angsty.

Im on Day 14 of bleeding after taking HRT. The bleeding started after being on it for 13 weeks. I stopped taking HRT nine days after the bleeding started. Im much more irritated now than i was before taking it due to having heavy bleeding (not spotting as they like to claim) period pain, piles peeing every ten mins period shits All the things i had to go with my periods came back. I never had a sore fanjo before HRT but i do now thanks to all the bleeding Ive been on the mini pill for three years. No periods for two years + My last heavy one must have been around 2018/19 Its affected my sex life (which wasnt a problem before Took this to prevent possible future problems and in doing so ive created a problem in the present. Im 51 and possibly still in peri and mini pill possibly stopped my periods but i wish id never touched HRT and took the leftover pills to Boots yesterday to be destroyed.

This was me. Irrationally angry. I agree now I'm through it I put up with less shit. But hormones being all over the place really made me a little bit deranged.

Sex is not painful. Im getting wet and having orgasms without any extra help.

Ive had a bad experience with HRT but i would defend the right of other women to take it if they want or need to. Its just not for me

When you are perimenopausal or suffering from a drastic drop in hormones at any point like when on the pill, having suffered a miscarriage and straight after a birth, you can have really significant mood changes that can also affect behaviour. The weird thing is you don't necessarily know your mood and behaviour is due to a total lack of oestrogen, it seems normal at the time. On the pill I would get really easily enraged. Like proper throw things across the room enraged and not at all like that off the pill. Post miscarriage and both devastated and hormone impacted I went off the rails. Same happened again in perimenopause but you do not see it as hormonal until you get your oestrogen back and connect the dots. Of course everyone is different and some people are not as badly affected by hormonal changes. Studies have shown that some women's brains desperately need oestrogen to function well and others rely a lot less on it.

In peri, prior to HRT I increasingly found my husband incredibly annoying, massively unfunny and was barely tolerating him. Turned out it was me, not him. Started HRT and started laughing again. Not pretending to laugh. Proper finding him funny, enjoying his company etc. He hadn't changed.

What I will say, note the bit about not realising your twattish behaviour is hormonal....

Yet another case of a woman bashing other women for absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

Even so what!?

Moods can change dramatically due to peri menopause

the feelings of anxiety and rage can escalate totally out of control. Brain fog and depression can be crushing and that’s before you get to any physical symptoms

why are you so triggered by something so common?

There's angry and then there's angry.

Peri can mean being angry almost all the time, for things that normally wouldn't even register, at a level totally disproportionate to the issue.

The worse part of it is the feeling that it is uncontrollable.

I don't understand the point of your thread. You seem to acknowledge the above yet condemn the fact that some women point to it. It doesn't make sense.

First used in 1962 according to Google but clearly common usage is much more recent.

I’m through the other side of it now and I’m serene as fuck. I can really notice the difference between now and peri/pms and by that I mean how my body feels as well as the impact of it on my mood and emotions. I feel like it’s been minimised and ignored my entire life so I’m glad it’s more recognised now.

I think you’re getting flamed unnecessarily here OP! I understand what you’re saying completely…
you aren’t accusing women of using peri as an excuse. You’re saying that sometimes it’s ok to be angry because people have pissed you off and that your feelings shouldn’t be minimised.
If someone had really upset me and I told them, I would be livid if they said “do you think it’s your hormones” as it’s an excuse not to take my feelings seriously!

And actually, you can even put a positive spin on the fact that when oestrogen production grinds to a halt/slows down massively then our once natural people pleaser/peace keeper also jumps off the cliff with it and we are now No Filter.

So yea we don't take crap off people anymore, stop being taken for mugs and talk more straight. This can be a direct result of hormonal changes.

It's also how many, many men have conducted themselves since the year dot. Were just becoming More Men

Totally agree, own it, it's natural.

//

And tbf OP many, many posters have owned it. I own it in that it I accept it's a natural process. That doesn't mean that some of us suffer horribly as a result and need meds to help make this process easier on us and our bodies. To help us sleep and manage out moods so we can continue to be productive at work and a nice person to live with.

Your posts are hugely lacking in empathy and compassion for those who have suffered more than yourself. You are making sweeping generalisations while accusing other women of making excuses. Peri and the menopause may be natural but to claim this means this process is not the root of how awful women can feel and doesn't drive behaviour is bullshit.

@JenniferBooth youve got atrophy. Nothing to do with what you were taking. You need localised estrogen to treat it as its progressive and will get worse.

Because before I went into perimenopause, I wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Then I suddenly started hearing myself telling dickheads what I thought of them.

Geese live in fear of me now. It’s great.

It can be blamed for how you feel but not as excuse to treat others badly

Men are bad women are just hormonal, no not buying it

I don't get what you mean here.
It's natural?
Are you suggesting that people are saying that it's not natural?
Losing oestrogen is natural and it brings about changes. Some of those changes are to mood. Therefore, peri menopause can effect mood in some women.

I see women blaming peri-menopause for everything- starting in their 30s for the next 20 years. What a load of tosh!

I truly wish I'd been born a man sometimes 😪 The horrible period pains that started when I was in early puberty aged 10 were agonising, in class at school, especially as I felt quite a young immature girl. I'd get extremely painful periods and remember wishing I didn't suffer so much, but none of my friends could relate at all really 😔

I'm obviously quite sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, and actually sometimes feel pretty envious of those lucky people who.don't suffer from the joys of PMS, migraines, brain fog, period pains etc. Life must be so much more pleasant physically on some levels.

I don’t know why more women don’t take HRT, unless they can’t for medical reasons.

I couldn't walk across the road - spacial awareness all gone. Couldn't ride my bike
Anxiety
Lucky you

I think I read somewhere that the hormonal fluctuations that women experience makes them more similar to men in terms of emotional volatility.

So basically women temporarily become irrational, whereas testosterone makes men like that all the time.

I can only describe peri as feeling like you've been hit by a truck and then reversed over, my own personal experience that is @Didimum made an interesting comment which I agree with.

I can really empathise with this @Waitingfordoggo. For many many years some of my EH's habits were no problem to live with. Then when I was 47 his loud chewing, plate scraping, tutting, snoring, loud breathing became incredibly annoying. At the same time I got hot flushes, achey joints, dry eyes, went off alcohol, tinnitus.....

The lack of tolerance was new to me and very difficult. I managed not to say anything because I knew that it was "me" not "him".

Ironically he left me a few years later citing my "menopausal symptoms" and being "opinionated " as some of the reasons he wanted to end what I had thought was a happy marriage.

I was initially floored and very upset but rather embarrassingly got over his departure surprisingly quickly. I do wonder if the menopause helped me realise quite quickly that he was a self-entitled, judgmental, emotionally immature, misogynistic twat, having previously thought he was amazing!